


Homecoming

by MoonRiver (MoonRiver5401)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Behavioral Analysis Unit (Criminal Minds), College, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Romantic Fluff, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:40:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 46,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24988450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoonRiver5401/pseuds/MoonRiver
Summary: College AU: When Y/N transfers to Cal-Tech, she meets an eccentric but endearing undergrad in her philosophy class...
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Comments: 91
Kudos: 206





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the college AU that nobody asked for, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway, haha.
> 
> Since it is a college AU, I have to make a note that in the show he was 12 years old when he graduated high school, so he earned his undergraduate degree when he was 16. To avoid making things ILLEGAL and CREEPY, I made him a normal college undergrad (21 years old) in this AU, so no worries! So, please, for my sanity and yours, no comments about how the fic is inaccurate. Thanks!
> 
> Also, the fic is written in the second-person perspective and uses "Y/N." I refrained from using certain descriptors (hair color, eye color, skin color, etc) to be as inclusive as possible.
> 
> Finally, please be nice since this is my first real fic! I would be happy to read and try out any suggestions as long as they are respectful! Let me know what you like, too! I think I have rambled on enough for now. Enjoy!

Well, you certainly weren't in Atlanta anymore. 

But, you wish you were. You never thought you would miss the road rage commuting to college every day or the sketchy characters tucked in alleyways behind the shimmering skyscrapers, the reason you always kept your mace ready for action. You never thought you would miss your parents that lived only 15 minutes away from your apartment just outside of Georgia Tech. In fact, you told yourself every day you were ready for the moment you could move away from them. But, now that day was here and you cursed yourself for saying that. But, then again, you never imagined that you would be sent to live thousands of miles away from home. 

As you sat on your bed in your new apartment in Pasadena, California, your mind longed for your home, family, and friends you left behind at Georgia Tech. You had already been there for two years, and you were hoping to graduate there with your new life-long besties. But, you know, plans change. 

You already managed to unpack everything, thanks to the help of the moving crew, who took pity on you knowing you were forced to unpack by yourself. You gave them the biggest tip you could afford and took the rest of your weekly spending money down to the store to stock your fridge. Not a super exciting first night in California, but you knew superstar dreams of falling in love with a celebrity and rising to the A-list wasn't going to happen overnight. You laughed at your sarcastic little quip. As if. 

You were scared about Cal-Tech if you were honest with yourself. It wasn't the caliber of the university that scared you. You knew you were intelligent and a hard worker. That's what got you into Georgia Tech, right? And it's what got you into Cal-Tech as a transfer student. It was the fact that you were a transfer in your junior year that made you nervous. You felt like you were in high school all over again worrying about if you were going to fit in and if you were going to make friends. Luckily for you, the people who peaked in high school didn't hold the same power at a university. Suck it, Tiffany and Brad. 

You pulled out a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt from your drawers. You quickly changed, hopped into bed, and scrolled through your phone. Big mistake.

You saw all your old friends and classmates post about their excitement on Instagram about starting off the fall semester tomorrow. Your inbox was filled with messages from friends wishing you the best of luck in California and gushing about how much they missed you. Who knew being loved so much could make someone feel so sad? You replied back to as many as you could and tried to like as many photos as possible, but, finally, you gave up punishing yourself and went to bed.

....

"WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO GO," your phone screeched at 8 am. That was your dad's favorite song, and you thought making it your wake-up alarm would make you feel closer to home. Instead, it proved to be just as scary as waking up to the default iPhone alarm. 

You quickly hit the snooze and decided to sleep just "a few more minutes." However, the thought almost peeing yourself a second time from that alarm was enough to jolt you awake. You turned off the alarm for good and headed to the kitchen to eat some breakfast. 

After doing your daily morning routine, you slipped off the bathrobe and put on a pair of blue skinny jeans, a black belt, and a long-sleeved black blouse. Satisfied with your look, you slipped on your bag and headed out to your car. You smiled. You definitely had the cutest car of all time: a gray Volkswagen Beetle. It was also the most hilarious car of all time because you loved watching strangers punch each other and point at your car. It made you feel like maybe you made someone else's day just by making them laugh.

Once you got on campus, you could already see college students punching each other on the arms and mouthing the words "PUNCHBUGGY." You were glad that other young adults hadn't lost their childlike humor. You already felt more at ease. Actually, you started to feel more excited than nervous. 

...

First class of the day: Philosophy of Love and Sexuality. You predicted this was going to be your favorite class. As soon as you saw it was available in the course catalog, you signed up immediately. You headed into the building, rode up the elevator, and walked into Room 305. It was a lecture-style classroom with long tables lined with chairs with stairs on either side of the tables. The front of the room was equipped with a giant chalkboard with an equally massive whiteboard to accompany it. To your surprise, there were only 20-30 people in the class. I guess not everyone is a hopeless romantic and/or philosophy nerd. Huh. 

You went to the middle row and sat down in the second seat closest to the end. You let out a deep breath and took in your surroundings. Professor Rothschild had not arrived yet, but you were early anyway. Some of the other students were sitting down scrolling aimlessly on their phones while others that knew each other were in small groups chit-chatting. You started taking your books out of the bag when someone came next to the empty seat on your left. 

"Uh- is this seat taken?" he asked tentatively. You looked up and saw a tall, lanky male student with a tan messenger's bag. He had part of his brown hair slightly tucked behind his ear. 

You smiled and replied, "Nope! It's all yours." 

He smiled back and sat down, placing his bag on the outside. His smile was gentle and warm. He carefully pulled a textbook, pen, and notebook out of the bag. You pulled out your notebook, too. 

"It's nice to know I'm not the only one who doesn't use a laptop in class," he commented, looking over at your belongings on the table.

You chuckled softly. "I guess we're just a couple of old folks, then. I get too distracted with a laptop. I start Googling random questions that pop into my head and lose track of the actual lecture."

"I agree. Northrop Frye once said that 'the most technologically efficient machine that man has ever invented is the book.' "

Woah! Nerd alert! You could already tell he was one smart cookie just by that one sentence. You were impressed. You always wanted to be the stereotypically smart kid who could do calculus at the top of their head in three seconds or the one who could recite verses of Shakespeare at fancy parties. This was a whole new level of intelligence, but you were smart enough and cultured enough to appreciate him and his comment. 

"I have to agree. Nothing beats a paperback book," you grinned. 

As you continued through your bag, you searched for a writing utensil. Huh, no pens....no pencils, either. Jesus. Not even a crayon? A marker? 

"Fuck me," you sighed to yourself. You couldn't believe you were going to ask the world's dumbest question to, probably, the world's smartest person. 

"This is going to sound so cliche and dumb, but...can I borrow a pencil?" you asked, shaking your head at your own stupidity. 

He looked over at you to say yes, and your eyes met properly for the first time. His eyes were light brown with hazel undertones. It was a beautiful, earthy blend. You quickly took in the details of his face. Damn, his jawline could probably sharpen the pencil he was about to give you. He broke eye contact, reached back into his bag, and handed you a brand-new pencil. You said thank you, and he gave back a 'you're welcome' with another gentle smile. For the next few minutes, you both sat in silence, scribbling random doodles into your respective notebooks. You were just about to ask for his name when the classroom door opened, and Professor Rothschild walked in carrying a pile of books and papers taller than him. He sat the stack down, and then you could see he was a short and stocky man with long, flowing white hair and circular glasses. Typical philosophy professor.

"Hello, everyone, I am Professor Rothschild. Welcome to Philosophy of Love and Sexuality, or, as I like to call it... How to Make Someone to Fall in Love with You 101." 

Oh, boy.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am considering adding other characters from the show and putting them as students/staff/etc in the fic because, let's be real, it wouldn't be the same without them. I held off on adding them because it wouldn't be true to the show and the characters' backgrounds. Let me know in the comments if you rather have the fic be more accurate to the show or if you rather have the other characters be added using my own creative interpretation?

Professor Rothschild did NOT disappoint. You could already tell from the moment he introduced the class he was going to be an ~interesting~ professor. He rambled some facts about himself and passed around a sign-in sheet. His first part of the lecture consisted of the mundane introductory material: the syllabus, class assignments, and grades. You always wondered why professors spent what seemed like an eternity going over the syllabus even though you were all very bright and most of you (hopefully) could read it on your own. You kept scribbling on your notebook to keep your mind from wandering and to focus on what the professor was actually saying. You noticed the student you just met twirling his pen around his fingers. He must have been bored, too. Thankfully, the professor zoomed through that portion and started his philosophy lecture right away. His first lecture topic was about how different cultures and philosophers define love. At the end of class, he assured you all that "the sexy stuff" was coming later in the semester. Nice.

You wrote down your final scribble and began to pack your bag. When you stood up to put your bag on your back, your seatmate was already across the room, heading out the door. What's the rush, buddy? Where's the fire? You remembered Professor Rothschild had recommended forming study groups for his class. You thought it would be nice to work with someone you didn't have to dumb yourself down for. Even in college, you found yourself sometimes having to carry the team in group projects or study groups. It was more fun to work with other students who were just as excited about class as you were, and you were confident this guy would be the perfect study buddy. You quickly darted down the stairs and out the classroom door, catching up to him in the hallway.

"Hey! Wait up a sec," you called out to him.

He didn't realize you were talking to him, so he kept walking. You walked even faster and grabbed him by the back of the arm to get his attention. He swiveled around, underestimating how close you were to him, and your head bumped right into the top of his chest. No one else was in the hallway, saving you from total embarrassment. You both gasped in surprise. You were inches away from each other. You could feel the warmth of his body radiate towards yours. The first thought that popped into your head and right out your mouth was, "Oope- hey, you smell good!"

You froze. Did you really just say that OUT LOUD? Note to self: transfer out of this class immediately. He backed away from you, so he could look at you at a more appropriate length away. He grinned nervously and ran his hand through his hair.

"Ooh-oh thank you," he said, slightly confused.

You quickly changed the subject back to what you planned on asking. "Would you want to study together sometime? We can swap numbers and make a plan to meet up in the library?"

"I would really like that, actually." Was he blushing?

You took out your phone, and he recited off his phone number to you. "Is there a name that goes along with this number?" you asked with your eyebrows raised and a smirk.

"Spencer Reid," he stated.

"Y/N," you stated back. You both smiled at each other, sensing a feeling of mutual excitement.

"I would walk you out, but my next class is about to start in ten minutes and it's across campus," he said, slightly disappointed.

"Okay! See ya around, Spence!" you said as you gave him a small wave and walked out of the building.

...

The rest of the day went smoothly. You only had two other classes on Monday, an upper-level biology class and a research lab. When you left the lab, warm fuzzies filled you from head to toe. You had a great start to your new semester. You loved all your professors so far, and the coursework seemed like a healthy challenge. You were also happy with yourself for making so many connections, too! First, Spencer. Then, you met Emily, a master's degree student on staff in your research lab and a resident of your apartment complex. Emily said she would introduce you to another friend she knew and suggested the three of you go on a "girls night out." You readily agreed because you were curious to see the nightlife in California and see if it lived up to its hype. You were always down for a good time.

It was around 5pm by the time you made it back to your car. You drove back to your new home. The day had gone so well, you were already calling it your new home without it being weird. You lowered your windows, feeling the cool air glide through the car as the sun kissed your face. The radio sang some Top 40 Hit you didn't know but you didn't care. You couldn't be bothered to change the radio.

...

You unpacked your bag onto your desk at your apartment. You sat down in your swivel chair with your phone out and twirled around. You planned on starting some classwork, but the idea of classwork made you think of Spencer. You scrolled to his new contact in your phone. Hmmm.... his contact was incomplete. It needed an emoji! Only people you didn't fuck with didn't have an emoji. You thought for a second...You honestly didn't know much about him to pick one. You needed to change that. You clicked on his contact and selected the text message feature.

**"hey there! It's Y/N from philosophy :) I'm free all day Thursday if you wanna study?"**

You got up and made yourself a quick snack. When you got back from the kitchen, you checked your lock screen for a notification. Hmm. No response. That's okay. He's probably busy. Or maybe he was just being nice and thought you were a total weirdo who sniffed people and told them they smelled good. Oh god, that was definitely it. You might have to actually follow through on transferring out of that class. Or maybe he saved you the time and transferred himself out already. Or maybe-

"Hey, Y/N. Thursday works for me, too. What time?"

Phew. Almost had a heart attack.

**"10 am?"**

"Perfect. I know a great spot. 5th floor, study room 505. It's in the back corner."

**"sounds good! can't wait!"**

Hmm. Maybe that was being _too_ excited. You were trying _not_ to sound like a creepy stalker, remember? You were just excited to already have a friend and couldn't contain yourself. 

"Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet :)" 

You didn't know the other quote he cited earlier in class today, but this one you knew right away. You were earning a minor in philosophy, so this one was easy money. 

**"Okay, Aristotle, save it for Thursday smh"**

"Haha glad you got the reference. Maybe you're going to be the one tutoring me?"   
  
**"I was but a learner, but now I am the master >:)"   
  
**You hoped he was pop culture smart just as he was book smart so he could appreciate your Star Wars reference. 

"Star Trek was better, just saying. Even though there are scientific inaccuracies, they predicted a lot of the technology that we use or are exploring today."

You smiled as the memories of you and your parents watching Star Trek reruns at night flooded into your head. Then, the smile slowly faded as your feelings of homesickness caught up to you after you kept your mind busy all day. 

**"I have to agree, but you know Dr. Who takes the prize, right?"**

"Most definitely. I would rather talk about my Dr. Who theories all night, but, unfortunately, I have some work to catch up on. Talk to you later, okay?" 

**"Goodnight :)"**  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm hoping to post each chapter as soon as possible (at a minimum of one chapter a week). I plan on doing lots of short chapters rather than a few long chapters to avoid writer's block. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to do what the original writers were too cowardly to do....make Emily Prentiss a gay icon.

You only had one class on Tuesday - Genetics - so you had the rest of the day to catch up on your work and have lunch with Emily. Emily promised to bring the friend she was talking about to lunch, so you all could make plans for next Saturday night. You had to move it to next weekend because you promised yourself a relaxing weekend to recover from your big move. You texted Emily that you were heading over from the Biology building over to the cafe. You enjoyed your walk over to the cafe, taking your time to breathe in the fall air and soak up the sun as its beams parted through the trees. This campus was prettier than Georgia Tech. Georgia Tech was the personification of a serious, analytical STEM major while Cal-Tech resembled a more artsy, sophisticated scholar. You could walk around campus all day and never get tired of looking at all the beauty the campus architecture offered.

You pushed open the door to the cafe and smelled the aroma of coffee beans and chocolate. It was bustling no matter what time of day. The line of anxious, caffeine-dependent college students trailed out the door. You looked in the back corner of the cafe where you found Emily and her blonde friend sitting in the comfy chairs around a small round table. Emily spotted you, waving her hand over to you.

"Hey! Aww, you guys got me a frappe? That's so sweet! How much do I owe you?" you asked, so happy you already found a good friend in Emily. You only knew her for two days, but it felt like you've known her for years.

"Don't worry about it! It's on me," Emily said, handing you the drink as you sat down.

"It just Emily's sneaky way of making you pay for shots next Saturday instead," her blonde friend teased.

"You must be the famous Penelope Garcia I've been hearing about these past two days. I'm Y/N. Do you go to Cal-Tech?" you inquired. You weren't sure how Emily and Penelope knew each other. You never would have guessed that they were friends just by their appearances. Emily was very nice and good-humored, but her outward appearance gave off an "I'm an empowered boss ass bitch" vibe which was a little intimidating at first. Penelope, on the other hand, looked like a ray of sunshine with her adorable outfit and colorful hair accessories.

"Oh, no, no, no. I'm self-employed as a computer specialist," Penelope responded.

"Wow! That's great! So, how do you know Emily, then?" you questioned further.

"My roommate, Jennifer, is her girlfriend! They are just so cute! Ugh, my heart!" Penelope gushed as she clasped her hands over her heart to prevent it from bursting out of her chest. You loved Penelope's contagious energy already.

Emily chuckled with a blush on her cheeks, "Actually, she's going to be joining us next Saturday if that's alright with you?"

"Of course! The more the merrier!" you chimed in.

Penelope leaned in real close and pulled you and Emily inward by the shoulders, so the three of you formed a huddle.

"Okay, team, here's the plan for next Saturday. No sleep. My place. Bar. Club. Another club. Another club-"

"Woah, Garcia! That's a lot of clubs for one night. Are you sure this East Coaster can handle West Coast partying so soon?" Emily interrupted.

"Bring it on," you playfully shot back.

The three of you laughed and broke up the huddle. You took a few sips from your drink. It was delicious! Emily made a good choice.

"What about you, Penelope? Are you seeing anyone?" you wiggled your eyebrows, causing Emily to almost spit out her drink from laughing.

"Aw, sweetie, are you trying to flirt me?" Penelope teased, wiggling her eyebrows back.

"Was it _that_ obvious?" you said with a grin. You took another sip of your drink, trying to look as sexy as possible with the straw but failing miserably. You got some laughs out of the both of them. You were happy they enjoyed your company just as much as you enjoy theirs.

"No, I haven't found my Prince Charming yet. I have met some cuties on my online game though. This one guy, Kevin, is _allllll_ over me," Penelope said with a wink. You and Emily chimed in with some "ooohs" and "ahhs."

"What about you, Y/N? I know it's only your second day, but anyone peak your interest in the bio department? Or maybe there's someone back home?" Emily asked.

Hmmm. You had a few short romances in high school and a relationship at Georgia Tech, but you guys broke up when your partner transferred to a sister school in another country. Unfortunately, the ending wasn't as amicable as you had hoped, so you rarely talked to them anymore. You followed their social media but that was the extent of the contact. The relationship only lasted 8 months or so.

"Nope, no one back home! I'm on the market for everyone at Cal-Tech. Well, maybe not _everyone_ , but you know what I mean. I haven't really had the time to properly know anyone yet to know for sure if I'm interested, but there have been some cute people around!" you replied.

"Oooh, so who's my competition?" Penelope pressed.

"Well...there's this cute guy in my philosophy class," you shrugged. "I think that we are just study mates though. We are studying together on Thursday."

"Ooooh, a study date!! I love it," Penelope gasped. "I hear the wedding bells already." 

You laughed softly and shook your head. "It's not a date, but nice try."

You looked over at the clock and remembered you needed to get back to your place to finish up some work due tomorrow. You said your goodbyes to your new friends after creating a group chat with the four girls-you, Emily, Penelope, and Jennifer. They were disappointed you had to leave so soon and you were, too. You promised to get coffee again with them soon.

...

You decided to take the long way back to your car in order to enjoy the scenery and familiarize yourself with the campus more. There was so much you hadn't seen, yet! You felt your phone ding in your back pocket, so you pulled it out and examined the lock screen as you continued to walk. It read:

**Penelope <3 has changed the group chat name to: Garcia's Bitches.**

You laughed out loud. It was the perfect group chat name because you knew she had you all wrapped around her finger with her charming personality. You put your phone back into your pocket. When you glanced back up, you recognized the figure across the way from you. In the grass, you spotted Spencer sitting on a blanket with his back against a tree reading a book. He was practically the photo you see on college admissions pamphlets. You went back and forth in your head about whether to say hello or not. He did look "in the zone" reading his book, but you decided it would be nice to say hi. You walked over until you were a few feet away. He put his book down from his face and looked up at you. Once he recognized who you were, he smiled shyly.

"Hey, Spencer! Whatcha reading?" you pointed at his book.

"Oh, I'm just rereading _The Picture of Dorian Gray_. It's one of my favorites, actually," he replied sheepishly.

"Ah, yes, I remember that book from my high school lit class. It was one of the books I actually liked. Sometimes, I think classic lit is only 'classic' because everyone was too afraid to tell a bunch of old white guys that their book wasn't good. You know? Anyway, the symbolism and character development are really well done, but I just remember thinking, 'Basil and Lord Henry are definitely hot for Dorian,'" you babbled. You tended to ramble on when you were nervous. But, why were you so nervous all of a sudden? You prayed that you didn't just make a fool of yourself...again.

"That's an interesting observation because Oscar Wilde was suspected to be gay," he concurred.

"See! I'm not crazy. You should talk to my high school lit teacher about that. Maybe I can still get some points back on that essay. Anyway, I just stopped by to say hi on my way to my car, but I'll let you get back to your reading."

"Thanks! That's really nice of you, Y/N. I can walk you back to your car if you would like the company?" he asked with a tone of hope in his voice.

"That would be great!"

He nodded in agreement. He stood up and placed his blanket and book into his messenger bag. He slung it over his shoulder, facing away from the side you were on. You walked side by side. He was a good deal taller than you were, making you felt very safe in his presence. You walked in silence for a few steps. Then, he asked you if this was your first year at Cal-Tech.

"It's my junior year, but I'm a transfer student from Georgia Tech. I just moved here. How about you? Are you from around here?" you inquired.

"I'm from the Las Vegas area, but I moved over to California to go to Cal-Tech. What are you majoring in?"

"Biochemistry with a minor in philosophy. I'm hoping to go to med school to be a medical examiner," you stated proudly.

"Huh, dead bodies don't freak you out?" he prodded.

"No, not really. I find pathology and forensics to be fascinating." You stopped yourself there. You knew you could probably talk about this for hours, but you reminded yourself conversations were two-sided. "What about you? What do you hope to do once you complete your schooling?"

"I was considering applying to the FBI. I read about their behavioral analysis unit, and my experience in psychology and sociology would be perfect for a profiler," he explained.

You were taken aback. You hadn't heard anyone say that before. Usually, people wanted to be a doctor, a scientist, a lawyer, a teacher, a politician, or blah blah blah. Those were all great options, but this was truly original. You looked up at him instead of looking ahead where you were walking. He looked back at you expectantly.

"Does that mean I get to call you Agent now or is that classified?" you giggled out.

"If I tell you, I'll have you kill you," he said in an overly serious voice. He couldn't hold his serious expression for long as it quickly dissolved into a grin. His eyes wrinkled.

"Seriously, though...that is pretty amazing. I think you could totally do it," you encouraged him. "Oh, this is me!" At this point, you had reached your car. You unloaded your bag into the backseat and opened the door on the driver's side.

"See you tomorrow, then?"

"I promise I'll remember a pencil this time," you joked.

He laughed and look down at the ground before looking up at you again. You said goodbye and slid into your seat. He gave a friendly wave as you put the car in reverse, and he clutched the strap of his bag. You were glad you walked over and said hello. He seemed like the type of person who could always put a smile on your face. You were so happy after today that the traffic didn't even bother you. You just sat back in your seat, listened to the radio, and watched the cars in the other lane gently roll by.


	4. Chapter 4

When you got to class on Wednesday, Spencer was already sitting in his seat. You guessed you didn't scare him off. You slid into the seat next to him, and you both exchanged hellos to each other. You didn't have much time to chit chat as you were running late that day, and Professor Rothschild started lecturing seconds after you sat down.   
  
"What _is_ love? Any guesses? Anyone? How about you? What do _you_ think?" Professor Rothschild pointed to a guy in the front row.  
  
"Ehh...a chemical reaction?" he joked. The class quietly chuckled, including yourself and Spencer.   
  
"Ah, you must be a STEM major. Anyone else? What about you?" he called out to a girl in the second row.   
  
"Uh, erm...well...the deep affection expressed between two people, maybe?" she squeaked out.  
  
"That's a better guess. Today's lecture is about the essence of love and its elements. Now, according to the Greeks...."   
  
You started to zone out. You wondered what you would have said if he would have called on you. You knew what love was in theory, but you couldn't really define it. You thought a little harder, questioning if you ever felt love before. You thought you were in love in high school, but now that you grew out of your rose-colored glasses, you knew it wasn't love. Lust? Definitely. Being in love with the idea of being in love? Probably. You enjoyed being with you partner back at Georgia Tech, but it wasn't love, either. You cared deeply for each other, but it wasn't the fairytale, head over heels, the Notebook rain scene type of love. You suddenly felt very lonely. Your shoulders sagged, and you placed your head in your hand as you stared at the board. What if you never did fall in love? What if love wasn't real and it's all hype? _  
  
Thanks a lot, philosophy. It's only the second day of class, and I'm already having a mid-life crisis. Get ahold of yourself. _  
  
"Next Wednesday is your first quiz! Thankfully, I am nice guy, and I posted a study review on my webpage. Have a good day!"   
  
You were still zoned out as everyone packed up to leave and started walking out the door. The warm hand on your bare shoulder snapped you back into reality. You jumped slightly out of your chair in surprise.  
  
"Ah!" you yelped in surprise. "Oh, it's you. I'm sorry I must have zoned out longer than I thought."  
  
"Are you okay? You seem a little off, today," Spencer said. He had big puppy dog eyes that had concern all over them.   
  
You shook off the last of your trance and stood up with your bag. "I'm all good. I promise. Just got lost in my head, that's all," you smiled to reassure his worries. His eyes softened, and he smiled back to accept your answer.   
  
"Glad to hear it, Y/N." He walked away, hurrying off to his next class.   
  
You followed soon after. The heaviness of your earlier thoughts still weighed on your heart. Even after trying to distract yourself in your next classes, your mind kept circling around to the same conversation with yourself. Luckily, Emily took your mind off things by going into detail about her 6-month anniversary date with JJ. You thought it was cute she nicknamed her JJ. Even though Emily wasn't gushing about it, you could tell she cared a lot for JJ and thoroughly enjoyed her evening. You wondered if she was in love, but you didn't ask because it was too soon in your friendship. You kept your thoughts to yourself and happily listened. It made you happy to know your new friend was so happy.   
  
......  
  
You rode the elevator up to the fifth floor and headed toward the back corner to room 505 as instructed. The floor was dead. You were the only person on the entire floor. You could hear your own heartbeat and breathing it was so quiet. You read the sign for the fifth floor: "Artifacts and Special Collections." It made more sense now why no one was up here.   
  
You opened the door to the study room. There was a large round table and a few chairs scattered around it. A whiteboard was on the sidewall and window on the back wall. You set your stuff down and sat down in the chair. You unloaded your study materials out in front of you on the table.  
  
Spencer came into the room a few minutes later carrying a bag from a local bakery and a drink carrier holding two coffee cups in them. He set them down on the table, placing a coffee cup in front of you, and pulled a breakfast sandwich out of the bag for you.   
  
"You got this for me?" you asked incredulously.   
  
"Yeah! I figured you might be hungry. We have a long day of studying ahead of us. Is that okay? If you don't like it, that's okay, I can just go back and get something you like or I can-"  
  
"I love it, dummy! Thank you for this! Actually, thank you for being just so nice to me like all the time," you gushed. You thought it was so unbelievably sweet. You needed some cheering up after yesterday.   
  
"N-no problem," he stuttered with the same goofy, endearing smile. He sat down in the seat across from you and brought out his own study materials.   
  
"You picked out a really awesome spot by the way! It's kinda nice being alone up here. It's like our own little study bubble," you said as you flipped through your notebook.   
  
"I found it during my sophomore year. I meant to go to the fourth floor since it was the quiet floor, but I pressed five by accident on the elevator. It's nice to have someone to share it with though."  
  
You paused. Wait a minute...did that imply what you thought it did?  
  
"Am I the first person you've shown this place to?" you asked with your eyes wide, peering up from the notebook.  
  
He looked down, "Uh, actually, yeah... I guess you are. Usually, I'm up here by myself."  
  
You thought you felt your heart shatter into a million pieces. Yep, it did. You were honored that he chose you to show you his secret spot, but you were also sad that he had no one else to study with and share his secrets with. Was he just as lonely as you were? You decided not to press.  
  
"Well, I'm honored to be the chosen one. I'll make sure to keep this place a secret. Just between me and you, okay?" you reassured him.   
  
"It's not that I don't have friends. It's just that no one wants to study with me. I think they assume I don't need to study because I have a high IQ, and I have an eidetic memory," he shrugged. He tried his best to make it seem like it didn't bother him that much.  
  
You reached across the table and grabbed his hand. You held it in yours. His hand was much bigger than yours so you had to use both hands to hold it. You looked him in the eyes. You sensed his sadness and, strangely, you felt like he could sense yours. A mutual, unspoken understanding.   
  
"I'm sorry, Spencer. It's not fair for people to make assumptions and be exclusive, but it's their loss. They really are missing out on these breakfast sandwiches and good company. How about we have some fun today and put that high IQ of yours to the test?" you said, trying your best to cheer him up.   
  
"Y-y-yeah," he squeaked, looking down at your hands wrapped around his. You pulled your hands away, hoping you didn't make him too uncomfortable.   
  
_Maybe he didn't like contact? Maybe he's a germaphobe?_ you guessed.   
  
"Great! Let's get started then. So, explain to me eros, philia, and agape..."   
  
......  
  
After hours and hours of studying, papers and notebooks engulfed the round table and words devoured the whiteboard until there was no white space left. You checked your phone for the time. It was almost 5 pm. You and Spencer agreed that you both felt good about the material, so you guys decided to call it a day. You both cleaned up the area and left the study room into the elevator. You pressed the button for the first floor.   
  
"So, any plans for the weekend?" he asked you, leaning against the railing on the back wall of the elevator. You had two classes on Friday, but you were done before noon. The weekend officially started for you on Friday at 12 pm.   
  
"Nah, not really. Just chilling at my place. I have lots of eating and binge-watching to do. You?"  
  
The elevator softly dinged as the doors opened to the first floor. You both walked out of the elevator.  
  
"My roommate Derek is dragging me out to a bar to be his wingman. According to him, girls like our banter and our 'opposites attract' friendship," he answered.   
  
"Opposites attract?" you questioned.  
  
"He's a built, masculine guy, and he's super confident with women. I'm on the shy side. Geeky, I guess you could say," he replied.   
  
"Interesting...so you two are chick magnets then?" you teased.  
  
"Very funny. He's mostly the chick magnet. I'm not a fan of dancing, so that usually turns girls away, but I've had my luck."   
  
"Spencer Reid, you sly dog," you said as you nicely punched his shoulder. You joked, but you were intrigued. Thoughts about Spencer picking up women at bars entered your head were followed by thoughts of him taking those women back to his apartment. Soon, you were thinking about him and those women going back to his room and-  
  
"Y/N? Hellloooo? Y/N?"   
  
"What?! Oh, sorry!" Shit. Shit. Shit. What did he say? You really had to stop zoning out.   
  
"Uh, this is my car. You okay getting back to your car?" he asked, slightly confused as to where your head was at.   
  
"Yeah, yeah, thanks! I had a great time today. We should do this again next Thursday."  
  
"I would really like that."  
  
"Lemme know if you get lucky this weekend," you winked.   
  
_What the fuck was that? Why did I fucking wink_? you wondered.   
  
"I doubt it, but I'll text you anyway. Have a good weekend!" he said as he got into his car.  
  
You needed to go home and get some rest. You blamed all those hours of studying for making you so weird.   
  
.....  
  
You definitely fulfilled the promise you made to yourself this weekend. After you finished your homework and prepped for the next week, you spent the whole weekend relaxing. You caught up on some shows on Netflix and ate as much pizza as possible. You deserved it since you worked so hard this week. You texted back and forth with the ladies in the group chat Garcia's Bitches throughout the weekend. The group mostly talked about their weekend plans and their opinions on celebrity news this past week.   
  
Late Saturday evening you were laying on your couch watching an episode of _Dexter_ when your phone buzzed on the cushion behind you. You reached over and grabbed your phone to see a message from Spencer.   
  
"Save me."  
  
 _He must be out with Derek_ , you laughed in your head.   
  
**"What's up??"  
  
** "Derek is 'dancing' with one of my TAs."  
  
 **"You mean grinding right?"  
  
** "Yeah..."  
  
 **"That should be fun to deal with on Monday"  
  
** "I'm going to drink to forget."  
  
 **"don't drink too much in case there's a lucky lady out there tonight ;)"  
  
** _Back at it again with the fucking winking again? Stop it!!_ you scolded yourself.   
  
"Probably not tonight. I have to focus on not letting my TA and Derek go home together." **  
  
"You would NOT be able to unhear that"  
  
** "I've heard and seen enough already...anyway, what are you up to?"  
  
 **"watching Netflix on my couch...not as exciting as your night"  
  
** "I would rather be there with you instead"  
  
 _Ugh, can he be any sweeter?_  
  
Once he said that, you started wishing he was there, too. You enjoyed his company and wanted to get to know him better. You imagined how much fun it would be. He was definitely the type where you could just sit in silence or do nothing all day and still have a good time. You made a note to yourself to invite him over sometime.  
  
Before you could reply back, he sent you another message.  
  
"Oh, boy. Gotta go. See you Monday!"  
  
You assumed Derek was making some saucy moves, and Spencer had to go handle it. You chuckled to yourself. They made an odd pair, but you could sense a rich friendship between them. Spencer made jests toward him out of love, you could tell.   
  
You sent back a simple smilely face and turned off your phone. You grabbed the remote and turned off the TV to go to bed. You had a long day of more TV watching and eating tomorrow.   
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

The second week flew by fast. You and Spencer made idle chit chat before classes, and you both felt you aced the quiz on Wednesday. Since there wasn't another quiz any time next week, you and Spencer decided to make Thursday a workday instead of a study day. Why complain and grind over homework alone when you can do that with someone else? You had another coffee date with Penelope and Emily. Emily was disappointed that JJ couldn't make it to the coffee date to meet you before the big Girls Night Out, but you promised her it was okay and that you could wait until Saturday. Apparently, JJ was busy a lot, a mild point of contention between her and her girlfriend. Emily just missed JJ and wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. You and Penelope took her mind off things by talking about Penelope's online crush, Kevin.  
  
The Thursday workday was successful. You guys didn't talk much this time since you both had a lot of work to catch up on. You wanted to finish your to-do list today, so you could party all Saturday night and hate yourself all Sunday. You told Spencer about your new friends and your upcoming night out on Saturday. You teased that it was your turn to get lucky, and he just offered a soft shake of his head with a smile. You also suggested they all should hang out sometime, and Spencer said he could bring Derek, too. After droning on about your plans, Spencer told you he planned on driving back home for the weekend to visit his mom. Together, you worked in silence for hours, only stopping to grab lunch, but the silence wasn't awkward. You just enjoyed each other's company and felt comfortable enough with each other to peacefully work side by side. Before you guys left in your respective cars, you told him to drive safe and let you know when he got back to town safely. You wanted to hear all about his weekend when he got back and vice versa. A nice routine was falling into place. You were finally settled into your new home.  
  
..................  
  
"THE UBER IS HERE! EMILY, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO TAKE ANOTHER SHOT! Y/N, HURRY UP IN THE BATHROOM. LET'S GO, PEOPLE!" Penelope called out.  
  
"Sorry, sorry, I'm coming. I have a tiny bladder. I can't help it," you said as you came out of the bathroom. Pen shooed you out the door of the apartment where JJ was waiting. Emily put down her shot glass and hurried out the door to avoid Penelope's wrath.  
  
Penelope and JJ's apartment was really nice. It had two bedrooms, a living area, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a balcony. JJ was more private about her bedroom space, but Penelope gave you a full tour of her wacky room. Her room wasn't messy; it just had a lot of stuff, including a desk with an assortment of hair accessories, pins, and makeup. Her room had a dark purple theme. The shelves were covered with knick-knacks and fan memorabilia. When you complimented her collection of Doctor Who merchandise, Penelope was all over you about making plans to go to Comic-Con and binge-watching every season at her place.  
  
After the tour, Emily showed up with the pregame necessities: alcohol and shot glasses. You each took two shots each, just enough to get the party started. It was going to be a long night, and you needed to pace yourself. No blacking out before you even get to the bar or club.  
  
The uber took the four girls to a bar downtown. There was a live band that night, and you ordered some drinks as you all sat around in a booth. The four of you casually talked about drama during the week, both in your real lives and in the celebrity world. JJ announced she earned a promotion at work, causing you all to order another round of drinks in celebration. Emily and JJ were cozied up together as they drank and laughed. They were telling the story of how they first met, and it was cracking them up. You admired their relationship, and that wave of loneliness from last week washed over you again. You wanted what they had. You wanted someone to look at you the way Emily looked at JJ. You were starting to feel down, but this was girls' night. No tears. No crying in the club.  
  
"How's everyone feeling? How about we head over to the club?" you suggested.  
  
You guys left the bar and walked down a few blocks until you reached the club. Once inside, the music was pumping loudly, and you could see a sea of bodies under dim neon light. A bar was in the back of the open room while a DJ was positioned upfront. The four of you took some more shots at the bar. Now, you were ready to dance. Garica yelled over the music, "DANCE WITH ME! THIS IS MY JAM!" She grabbed your arm, pulling you out to the dance floor. You could feel the shots finally hitting and you giggled out an 'okay.' You were super giggly and friendly when you were drunk. Everyone was your best friend. You danced with the girls for most of the night, a few strangers here and there. You grabbed a few more drinks throughout the night when you felt like you were sweating off your drunken high. You misjudged how drunk you _actually_ were and the next thing you know, you're waking up on Garcia's couch next to a bottle of water and a bottle of aspirin.  
  
"Good morning, sleepyhead!" Garcia chirped.  
  
"Shh...shh...too loud," you groaned. You popped the aspirin in your mouth and gulped down some water.   
  
"Do you remember _anything_ last night?" Emily asked as she poured herself a cup of coffee in the kitchen. She slept over with JJ in her room.  
  
"I remember the bar for sure. I remember the club...kinda...how did we get home?" you said as your hands massaged your temples.   
  
"We took an Uber back. You passed out in the Uber, so we had to carry you up onto the couch. You're welcome by the way," JJ cheerily chimed in as she left her room and joined the other girls in the kitchen.   
  
"Oh, god. I'm so sorry. I normally don't drink like that I swear! It won't happen again," you promised.  
  
The other girls laughed and assured you that it was all okay. They found your drunken mess very entertaining.   
  
"So, you seriously don't remember the...uh...incident at the club?" Garcia asked, holding back a laugh.  
  
"No...what happened?" You were nervous. This was your first time blacking out.   
  
"You flirted with the DJ, so he let you hop on stage. You started dancing when he passed you the mic, and you started doing karaoke of Ice Ice Baby," Garcia said.   
  
You were horrified but also lowkey impressed that you could rap. You weren't even sure you could do that sober. "Please tell me that's all," you pleaded.  
  
"Well...when the rapping was over, the DJ started playing Hot in Here, so you started stripping, but don't worry we took you off the stage before it went too far," Garcia reassured you.   
  
"It didn't help that Emily was throwing ones at you," JJ added.   
  
Your head fell into your palms. You felt embarrassed, but it _was_ a really funny story. It was a story you could tell at future parties once the embarrassment subsided. It was definitely a bonding moment between the four of you and it's not like anyone else at the club knew you, so you didn't feel too bad about it.   
  
The girls started cooking breakfast as you hopped in the shower and changed clothes. You were drying off your hair when you popped back into the main living area to grab your phone. The screen lit up with a lot of messages. What is going on? You unlocked your phone. 

"Oh..my..god," you placed your hand over your mouth.  
  
"What's going on?" Penelope asked as she walked over with a plate of breakfast.  
  
"Someone posted a video of me at the club on social media, and some classmates who recognize me from the video are messaging me. There's a ton of views," you replied.   
  
You felt your cheeks get hot as the room fell silent. What were you going to do? You could report the video, so it gets taken down but your request could take a while to process, meaning more people could see it in the meantime. You could deny that it's you, but the video is a clear shot. There's no denying it was you. In your sea of messages, one name stuck out: Spencer. You shut your phone off without reading the message.   
  
_As if I haven't embarrassed myself enough in front of him..._  
  
"Y/N...are you okay?" JJ came over and placed her hand on your shoulder as she sat down next to you.  
  
"Who's ass do I get the pleasure of kicking to get this taken down?" Emily said with her arms crossed.   
  
"It's okay, ladies. Your own personal Tech Goddess has this handled," Garcia assured you. She pulled out her laptop and found the video on the social media site. She watched her as she worked her magic, her fingers flying across the keyboard.   
  
"Alrighty! It's officially erased. See? No more worries, my sweet pumpkin."  
  
"You're a lifesaver. Thank you thank you thank you," you hugged Garcia. "I think I'm gonna head home and bury myself in my blankets."  
  
"If it makes you feel any better, you looked pretty smokin' hot up on the stage. I don't think anyone is gonna be making fun of you. How about I give you a ride home?" Emily offered.  
  
 _Maybe if I get trapped in my blanket fort I won't have to go to class on Monday..._  
  
...................  
  
When you got back to your apartment, you immediately put on your comfy clothes- a big shirt with leggings - and hopped under the covers of your bed. You were cozy in your burrito and felt like nothing bad could ever happen again if you never left it. After a while, you calmed down and curiosity took over. You turned on your phone again. Luckily, there were no new messages. You scrolled down until Spencer's name popped up. You sighed. You would have to talk to him eventually.  
  
"Hey, how was your girls' night? Have any better luck than I did last weekend?"  
  
 _Hmmm. Did he not see the video?_  
  
 **"Let's just say I drank too much...not so lucky...Anything interesting in Vegas?"  
  
** "You know the rule: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas....but my Mom is doing well. We mostly read together and saw a film."  
  
 **"Glad to hear it :)"  
  
** You pondered for a second. How could he not see the video? A lot of your classmates saw it, so why didn't he?   
  
**"quick question: do you have social media?"  
  
** "No, not really my thing. Why?"  
  
 _PRAISE. THE. LORD.  
  
_ **"Just curious! I was going to add you."  
  
** "Gotcha. I think I had social media for 20 minutes before I gave up."  
  
 **"Not even Instagram, Grandpa?"  
  
** You had to make extra sure he didn't see the video. Your paranoia was still in full force.   
  
"You're an old soul just like me, so no judging."   
  
_Believe me, I have no room to judge anyone right now.  
  
_ "I'm about to drive back to Cali, now. Talk tomorrow?"  
  
 **"Yep! Drive safe old man :)"  
  
** "I will, Vanilla Ice :)"   
  
_Damn it._  
  
  
  
  



	6. Chapter 6

_I should just skip class today. He knows about the video. I'll probably die from embarrassment in my chair anyway, so why not just die at home?  
  
_ Like the good noodle you were, you dragged yourself to class anyway. You wore a gray hoodie with jeans, hoping to draw the least amount of attention to yourself. When you got to class, you slumped down into your chair next to Spencer and avoided eye contact at all costs. You quickly pulled out your materials from your bag and pretended to be interested in your notes.  
  
"Good morning," he said with a smirk on his face.   
  
"Morning," you responded without looking up.  
  
"The video wasn't _that_ bad."  
  
 _That's my cue to jump off a cliff.  
  
_ "It's pretty bad," you disagreed. "If you don't have social media, how did you even see it?"  
  
"Derek forwarded it to me. Don't worry I didn't save it. But, in all honesty, it's not as embarrassing as you think. When I saw it, my first thoughts were, 'She looks like she's having fun, and she seems like she's a confident girl who isn't afraid of being herself. I wish I was having a good time like that.' I bet a lot of other people were thinking the same thing. Anyone would be lucky to be your friend and have fun with you that night," he stated.  
  
"That's very sweet of you to say. I do feel better now. I'll try to remind myself of what you said. Thanks, Spence."  
  
"No problem. It's just the truth," he shrugged.   
  
"Wait...So, how did Derek know it was me in the video? I don't think I've met him," you questioned.   
  
"Oh, well, uh," he flustered. "I talked about you after our study session to Derek. He found your Instagram to match a face to a name. I hope that's okay, I don't want to invade your privacy, and I swear I wasn't being weird and-"  
  
"Ooh, so you talked about me, huh?" you said as you sarcastically batted your eyes at him. Now, _he_ was the embarrassed one. You liked having the upper hand. Plus, it was fun to watch him blush and panic a little bit. You thought it was cute. _He_ was cute. Really cute, actually. _  
  
_You decided you watched him panic enough and cut him a break. "It's okay! I'm just messing with you," you reassured him. You watched him settle down. Before he could redeem himself with a witty comeback, Professor Rothschild made a grand entrance.  
  
"Love! Lust! Tragedy! Art! Beauty! You name it, it's in Paris! Join me, my lovely pupils, on a study abroad trip at the end of the semester to France. Two weeks of pure romance....and classwork, of course. If you're interested, there are information sheets on my desk you can grab on your way out. Now, let's talk about types of relationships..."  
  
You and Spencer both picked up information sheets on the way out of class and signed up as interested in attending the study abroad trip. You both chatted with excitement about the upcoming trip as you walked him to his next class even though it was the opposite direction from the parking lot. Spencer was enthusiastic about touring the museums. You were eager to try all the food and visit the Eiffel Tower. Both of you were already making plans to tour the city together.   
  
.............  
  
The next few weeks were the same as usual: classes Monday through Friday, coffee dates on Tuesdays with your girls, and study sessions with Spencer on Thursdays. Your weekends were mostly chilling at your apartment because you were too tired from the busy week to party. Normal people would find a simple routine to be boring, but you were craving stability over spontaneity. A regular life was a happy life for you. You were just grateful to have supportive friends that you were growing closer with every single day. You were thriving in your classes, so your passion for biology and chemistry grew even stronger. August slowly came to a close.  
  
On Monday, you checked your calendar for the upcoming week, noticing you had a lighter work schedule and no plans for the weekend. You texted the girls to see if they wanted to hang, but they were all busy. Emily and JJ rented a beach house for the weekend for a couple's trip while Penelope was out of town for a convention.   
  
In the middle of Professor Rothschild's lecture, an idea dawned on you. Why not invite Spencer over? You were planning to invite him over sometime anyway. You realized you have never hung out with him outside of class or studying. You quietly pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled a note. You slid it over to Spencer.  
  
The note read: **"Do you want to hang at my place this Saturday? Check yes or no."  
  
** He was engrossed in the lecture, so you slid the note over more. Finally, he looked down to see the scrap of paper and carefully unfolded it. He gave a short smile and a huff of laughter. He clicked his pen and scribbled a checkmark. He paused, putting the end of the pen in his mouth as he thought. He then wrote for a few seconds, folded the paper, and passed it back over to you.   
  
The box was checked yes, and the note read: "What's the plan?"   
  
Hmmm. You liked seeing him squirm earlier...why not make it fun and play with him some more? You wrote down your own note and slid the note back over.  
  
It read: **"Don't want to ruin the surprise. Be there at 6 pm. Wear comfy clothes. Here's the address."**  
  
He slipped the note into his pocket as you carried on taking actual notes for the lecture. As the lecture carried on, you grew more and more excited about this weekend. You couldn't stop the grin.   
  
........  
  
You heard a soft, polite knock on the door right at 6 pm. You knew it had to be him. How could someone's knock match their personality so well?   
  
You opened the door to find Spencer standing there in a t-shirt with sweatpants. Usually, he was very well-dressed in more sophisticated clothes in class and around campus, so you were surprised he even owned comfy clothes. You were wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants as well.   
  
"Hey! Come on in! I've ordered a pizza," you greeted him.   
  
He followed you inside to see the awesome pillow and blanket fort you created over the couch in your living room. You watched him as his eyes widened and jaw dropped as he admired your work. The sheet formed a tent over the couch and the area in front of it. Chairs on either side of the couch suspended the sheet in place. There were pillows and blankets covering the couch and the rug on the floor as the TV sat proudly in front. You worked on it all morning with only a few curses slipping out. You were proud.   
  
"Woah...I'm speechless. This is an architectural feat. I'm guessing this is the surprise?" he said in awe.   
  
"Yep! You can't have a Lost in Space marathon without a fort," you stated proudly.   
  
"I heard the remake on Netflix is really good. I haven't seen it yet," he commented.   
  
"I haven't either. We can watch that one," you smiled.  
  
You grabbed two drinks out of the fridge as Spencer examined your fort more closely. You walked over and handed him his drink. You switched the lights off for the room, leaving only the glow of the TV to light your path. You both entered the fort and sat down on the fluffy blanket, with your backs against the couch. Spencer sat a couple of feet away from you. You pressed play on the show.   
  
But you two didn't stay apart for long. The suspense of the action scenes subconsciously pulled you closer together as you were both on the edge of your seats. By the end of the first episode, there wasn't any space between you two with your arms and legs gently touching. As you went to press play for the next episode, you became aware of how close you were. You could feel the changes in his breathing and the warmth coming from his body. You could feel the fabric of his shirt against yours. When he looked down to talk to you about his commentary on the show, your faces were only inches away from each other. His voice droned out as you examined his face, taking in all his features under the dim hue of the TV.  
  
 _I wonder what it would be like to kiss-  
  
  
_ KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK. You were startled, slightly jumping at the noise. You collected yourself, stood up, and headed over to the door to grab the pizza. After you paid and tipped the delivery man, you brought the whole box over. Spencer had moved up to the couch, so you placed the box between you two on the couch. You each took a slice and devoured it. It was some good ass pizza. You clicked on the next episode, but you couldn't focus on it.  
  
 _What was I thinking...? Kissing him? No way, I couldn't....I mean, his lips are nice and definitely very kissable and would definitely fit nicely on mine...Wait, stop, what am I doing?? Okay, I need to think this through. What if he doesn't kiss me back and things become awkward in class? He already has his suspicions that I'm a weirdo...But what if he does kiss me back? What if we make out on my couch and it's super magical and his hands glide over me and what if he picks me up and carries me back to my room and what if we....Wait what did he say?  
  
_ "Huh? What did you say?" you asked.  
  
He was looking over at you as you stared back and waved a hand in front of your face. "Helloooo, Earth to Y/N....next episode?"  
  
You looked at the screen to find it back to the homepage. The episode was over, already? How long were you in that daydream?  
  
"Oops, sorry!" you said as you clicked the play button.   
  
_Hmmm. I need to figure out if he's sending any signals. If he isn't I'll back off and never have those thoughts again. And if he is...I don't know, yet. Do I really have feelings for him or is this just a temporary crush? It might just be this intimate context, you know? It might just be my brain trying to figure out how to act around him when we aren't in class.  
  
_ You needed to test out your theory, so you moved the pizza box off the couch and pushed it off to the side on the floor. You slid over closer to him and reached down to the floor to grab a blanket.   
  
"Are you cold? We can share a blanket?" you asked.   
  
"Uh-okay, yeah, sure," he smiled. He was becoming a little nervous as you slid over closer and draped the blanket over the both of you.   
  
As the episode continued, he became more relaxed and so did you. After the weird tension dissolved, both of you were back to your normal banter- cracking jokes and making commentary on the show. Time began to fly by as you watched episode after episode, grabbing a slice of pizza every now and then. You both were still snuggled under the blanket, close but not too close, enjoying each other's company. You thought he would put your arm around you or squeeze your thigh, but he didn't and you didn't want to admit you secretly wanted that.   
  
Suddenly, you found your self waking up with your head on Spencer's shoulder. Your nose grazed the front of his shoulder. He smelled like clean laundry. The TV was still on, but it was back to the homepage again. You looked at the clock under the TV and saw it was a little past one in the morning. Spencer was sleeping softly next to you. You both had fallen asleep during the show.   
  
He was sleeping so peacefully, so you didn't have the heart to wake him up and send him home. You were too tired to clean up and head back to your room. Besides, Spencer was way too comfortable. You clicked off the TV and laid your head back on his shoulder, nodding off back to sleep.  
  
......  
  
"Psst...Y/N..."  
  
"Mmm five more minutes..." you murmured.   
  
"Um...my arm is asleep."  
  
"Huh?" you answered.   
  
You slowly opened your eyes to find yourself laying down on the couch, facing the TV. You rubbed the sleep out of your eyes. After taking a few seconds to collect yourself, you realized something: you were a little spoon. 


	7. Chapter 7

After your epiphany about your awkward situation, you noticed the warm body behind you, perfectly snuggled against your shape. You felt your back line up against his abdomen and chest. His face gently brushed against the back of your neck. Both of your legs were partially intertwined while his arm lay trapped under you. The small of your back was nestled comfortably against his.... _oh god, fuck._  
  
"Your arm? Oh, shit, sorry!" you exclaimed as you quickly scrambled off the couch. You stood up and looked over at him lying on the couch underneath the blanket. He seemed just as embarrassed as you were. 

"Um, how about I make us some breakfast?" you stammered, trying to avoid the elephant in the room. 

"Yeah, that sounds good," he paused. "I'm sorry if I made things awkward. It wasn't on purpose, I promise. I woke up just as surprised as you were about our...sleeping positions. I guess it just sort of happened like that." 

You mentally sighed out of relief. You were glad he brought it up. Now, you could both move on without awkward tension. 

"No need to apologize. I was actually very comfortable," you admitted.

His face perked up when you said that. His pleasant surprise quickly turned into bashfulness. He rubbed his hand through his hair as he admitted that he slept very well that night, too. You responded that you were glad you both agreed before you headed back to the kitchen to make breakfast. Spencer stayed on the couch and scrolled through his phone. You heard him breathe out a swear, and he excused himself as he stepped outside your apartment. Your apartment had thin walls, so you could hear his phone conversation. You knew it wasn't nice to be nosy, but it was hard _not_ to hear.  
  
"Hey, Derek, I'm sorry I didn't message you last night. I fell asleep. I didn't mean to make you worry..........Oh, um, Y/N invited me over to watch a show........What? No, no, no....no I swear.....Derek, it wasn't like that....I mean....yeah, I do.....Derek, stop.... She's making breakfast right now......Alright, I'm gonna hang up now....I'll explain when I get back.....Okay, goodbye."  
  
 _Huh, I wonder what Derek was saying.  
  
_ Spencer came back into the apartment just as you were serving the plates of breakfast on the table. You made eggs and sausages and poured glasses of orange juice.

"Hey, welcome back! I didn't know if you liked coffee or tea, so I went with the safe bet of orange juice. Everything okay?" you asked. 

"Yeah, my roommate was checking in on me since I didn't come home last night. I told him I would be back after breakfast," he replied. 

"Oh, okay. Let's eat then," you said, disappointed he wasn't staying for longer because you really enjoyed his company. He sensed the hint of disappointment in your voice and felt flattered that you like spending time with him so much and that the feeling was mutual.

"Would you like to come over to my place for the rest of the afternoon? You can meet Derek. I know he's been dying to meet you," Spencer offered.  
  
"Sure! I hope I'm not intruding, though," you said.  
  
"No, of course not. I would love to have you over."  
  
.......  
  
Spencer offered to clean the dishes and put them away while you changed your clothes. After you were ready, Spencer drove you over to his apartment which was only ten minutes away. He lived in an older complex made of brick closer to the campus. Because it was an older complex, you had to walk up three flights of stairs since Spencer thought the elevator was "too sketchy."   
  
Spencer pulled out his keys to unlock the door, announcing he was home to Derek, who was sitting on the couch. He clicked off the TV as soon as you and Spencer walked through the door. His eyes were on you the whole time, not even registering Spencer. Spencer was right: they were opposites. Derek stood up and walked over toward you, his hand extended outward. You shook his hand.   
  
"Hey, beautiful, you must be Y/N," Derek said smoothly with a wide grin.   
  
You laughed in good spirits and responded, "And you must be Derek. Very nice to meet you." 

"Do you mind keeping her company while I change clothes? I'll be back in a few minutes," Spencer said as he headed toward his room. You wondered what his room looked like, and you were hoping he would give you a room tour like Garcia did. 

"I don't mind at all. I can get to know you more than what pretty boy has already told me," Derek teased. 

"Well, let's see...I'm a transfer student from Georgia Tech, so I just moved to the area, and I'm going to Cal-Tech to eventually become a medical examiner. Spencer and I met in a philosophy class. I think that's about it," you summarized. "What's your story, Derek?"  
  
"I'm a few years older than Reid. I'm training as an FBI agent out of the Los Angeles field office. I was looking for a roommate a year and a half ago, and that's how I met Reid. He's been a good roommate and a good friend," he replied.   
  
"He's also a great study buddy," you affirmed.

"So were you studying with him last night?" he asked, obviously knowing the answer.  
  
"No, I invited him over to binge-watch Lost in Space with me. Funny story, actually, but sleeping beauty over here fell asleep on my couch," you laughed. 

"He must have been _really_ comfortable then. Usually, he has a hard time sleeping," Derek said with a humorous glint in his eye. 

"Okay, that's enough about me," Spencer said coming out of his room with a fresh pair of clothes. He closed the door behind him, so you weren't able to catch a glimpse into his room. Spencer sat down on the couch, motioning for you and Derek to join him. 

"Sounds like you guys had a fun weekend," Derek said, backing off from teasing Spencer. "But, I think we could all have an even better time next weekend. There's a new bar opening up in Los Angeles. You guys should come."  
  
"Actually, my friends and I were planning on going! Why don't we all go together?" you recommended.  
  
"Yeah, I'm down with that. Reid?" Derek looked over for Spencer's approval.  
  
"Sure, but I'm not dancing," Spencer shook his head.   
  
"Y/N clearly has some moves she can teach you from her video," Derek was now teasing you, but you were a good sport about it, remembering what Spencer said to make you feel better.   
  
"I don't know...my moves are pretty advanced. I don't think he can handle them," you shot a playful look over to Spencer.  
  
"Nope, I am not falling into this trap. No dancing for me, but I'll go and watch," he said stubbornly.   
  
But now you made it your _mission_ to get Spencer to dance even if it was the Macarena. You were _not_ going home without completing your goal. You pulled out your phone and texted the girls' group chat that you were bringing two others to the party. Instantly, Garcia was asked if they were cute. Clearly her online romance with Kevin was completely off her mind. You texted your girls your mission, and they were immediately on board.   
  
_Good luck, Spencer. It's now 5 against 1._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thank you for all the nice comments so far! I appreciate you guys!

Saturday night could not come fast enough. You felt like the week dragged on forever. You found your mind wandering during classes. You were more interested in formulating a plan for your not-so-top-secret mission. Obviously, that was way more important than college.

On Saturday night, you offered to be the designated driver. Your drinking incident from last girls' night out still lingered over you, so you thought it was best to be sober for a night, especially since Spencer was going to be there. The girls were grateful not to have to pay for an Uber. You got ready at your apartment, slipping on a burgundy bodycon dress with spaghetti straps. This new bar was supposed to be more "high-end," according to Derek, so you wanted to look your best. 

You pulled up outside of Penelope and JJ's apartment where the three girls were waiting. They climbed into your car excitedly, already asking a million questions about the bar and the two new guys joining the group. You told them they would find all their answers once they got there, and you turned up the radio. As you drove to LA, the four of you sang along to the songs on the radio without any regard for volume, pitch, or tone. 

After turning into the parking lot and swerving your car into a parking space, you checked your phone to see a text from Spencer saying he was inside already with Derek at a table closest to the stage. You texted back saying you arrived and were heading inside. The ladies climbed out of the car and headed toward the door.

Inside, the bar had a modern theme with dim blue and white lights and lots of glass shelving for the bottles. There were two bar counters, one on either side of the building, with a dance floor and stage in the back. A DJ was playing pop music. In the middle, there were round tables and black leather couches scattered around a few pool tables. You were glad you dressed up because calling this place sophisticated and high-end was an understatement. 

You spotted Spencer and Derek sitting on a couch at a table in the back, just like he said. Derek was drinking a beer while Spencer drank whiskey.   
  
"Hey! You made it! I'm Derek. It's nice to meet all you fine ladies," Derek said with a charming grin. Everyone made their introductions, and the four ladies sat down on the couches across from the two roommates.   
  
Garcia nudged you and whispered in your ear, "You didn't tell me Derek was so yummy!" Garcia was practically drooling. You nudged her back with a smile. 

"So, Derek," Garcia purred. "Y/N didn't tell me you were so handsome and delicious." 

"Well, baby girl, how about you and I go over to the bar, and I'll buy you a drink?" he winked at her, and she giggled. They walked over to the bartender, leaving just the four of you.

"Wow, that was fast," Emily said with a chuckle.

"Kevin doesn't even stand a chance against him," JJ jested.

You all laughed as you watched Penelope and Derek flirt at the bar from afar. You could tell Penelope was laying it on thick, and Derek was loving it.

"So, you must be Y/N's studying partner we've been hearing about. She's right- you're very adorable." Emily directed her attention over to Spencer.   
  
"Emily!" you blurted out.   
  
"Oh, so you talk about me, too?" Spencer shot you a satisfying smirk.  
  
You stuck your tongue out at him. "Don't flatter yourself too much."  
  
"I'm taking the compliment, anyway," Spencer said with a shrug.   
  
"Y/N also says you like magic. Can you show us anything?" JJ asked.  
  
"Yeah, sure! One sec." You could see Spencer become very eager. He walked over to the bar and asked the bartender something. The bartender handed him a metal spoon.  
  
"Okay, so watch it carefully." Spencer said as he sat back down. He held the spoon in his hand and pressed it against the table. The spoon started bending, but when Spencer picked up the spoon with both hands, the spoon was perfectly normal.  
  
You and JJ started clapping, but Emily wasn't as impressed.   
  
"That was good, but what else you got? I know you got a better trick up your sleeve," Emily prodded.   
  
"Okay, hm....for this next trick, I need a volunteer. Y/N?"  
  
"As long as I'm not being sawed in half, I happily oblige," you moved to the couch Spencer was sitting on and turned to face him.  
  
Spencer pulled a deck of cards out of his inside blazer pocket and shuffled the cards.  
  
"Do you always carry around a deck of cards?" you asked incredulously.   
  
"A magician must always be ready. Alright, so I need you to pick a card. Any card," Spencer held out the deck to you. You drew a random card and looked at it. It was the nine of hearts. He cut the deck in half and asked you to place your card on the top of the first half of the deck. He placed the other half of the deck on top of that.   
  
"I will start flipping over cards, and I'll tell you when I reach your card."  
  
Spencer flipped over cards in front of you, and you saw he passed your card. Maybe he wasn't a good magician after all. He flipped over few more cards before he said, "Alright. The next card I flip will be yours. Want to make things interesting and place a bet?"  
  
 _Hmm, I could use this to my advantage for my operation.  
  
_ "If I win, you have to dance with me tonight," you stated.  
  
"And if I win, you have to go with me to the movie night the Classic Movies Club is hosting. I hear the movie they chose is a boring one, but I promised a friend I would go," he replied.  
  
"You're on."  
  
"Now, this is getting interesting," Emily said.  
  
Instead of selecting the next card from the deck, Spencer sorted through the cards he had already flipped through and held up the nine of hearts.  
  
"Is this your card?"   
  
"Yes! You tricked me!" you said with your mouth open in surprise. "But, that was a really awesome trick, so I'll uphold my end of the deal."  
  
"Wow! That was incredible!" Emily exclaimed.  
  
"You have to teach us that," JJ said.  
  
"A magician never reveals his secrets."  
.....  
  
After sharing stories and getting to know each other better, the group decided to move out onto the dance floor. Spencer refused, of course, and told the group he was going to hang out on the couch even after you pleaded and pleaded. He swore that techno music and pop music "wasn't his thing."   
  
"Come on, Y/N! Don't worry about it! You're not gonna convince him," Emily yelled over the music as she pulled your arm to bring you out to the dancer floor.   
  
_Oh, I'm not worried. I got a plan.  
  
_ Penelope and Derek were dancing together innocently at first. He would twirl her around and put his hands on her hips. She would wrap her arms around his neck and sway to the music. But as the drinks started flowing and the night went on, dancing turned into grinding. You had to admit though that Penelope was a pro at throwing it back, and Derek seemed to agree as he pretended to make it rain. 

Emily and JJ were just drunkenly dancing, and, occasionally, they laughed at each other's ridiculous dance moves. You danced with them most of the night, moving your hips and body to the rhythm of the music. You were sober, but you were definitely having a good time and were feeling yourself. You caught Spencer looking at you a few times, and you would wave him over, but he would always shake his head no. You would give him an exaggerated pouty face, but he didn't crack. He too busy watching Garcia and Morgan.

Toward the end of the night, you knew it was time to implement your plan. You gathered up the girls and told them your plan, saying it was go time. You ran up to the stage where the DJ was set up and asked him to play a slow song for the last song of the night. He gave you a thumbs up. You headed back down to the dance floor and walked over to Spencer on the couch. The pop song faded out, and the slow song started playing. 

"Hey, will you dance with me now?" you asked, putting on your best sad puppy dog eyes and extending out your hand.  
  
He looked at you up and down and timidly took your hand. You smiled and squeezed his hand as you walked him out to the dance floor. Everyone else was already paired up and slow dancing. You placed your left hand on his shoulder, keeping your right hand enclosed by his hand. He tentatively placed his hands on your hips but quickly moved them up to your back.  
  
"It's okay," you whispered. You gave him a small, reassuring smile.   
  
He moved his hands back to your hips. He looked down at you and whispered back breathlessly, "You look beautiful, tonight, by the way."  
  
You could feel your cheeks becoming warmer. "Thanks."  
  
You swayed back and forth to the flow of the music. You could feel Spencer start to relax as the song continued, becoming more comfortable with being so close to you. As the music swelled into the chorus, you felt him pull you closer to him. You could feel electricity form in the small space between the two of you, and it ran through your body, filling you with butterflies. You laid your head gently on his shoulder, closing the gap between you even more. 

At first, you were happy your plan worked so well, and Spencer was eating his words, but now you were feeling...different. You were overwhelmed with the feeling of wanting to be closer to him. You were hyperaware of the grip of his hands on your hips and the soft rise and fall of his chest against you. A wave of comfort and security washed over you, and you didn't want this moment to end.  
  
The song was coming to a close, and neither of you was stepping away. You slowly lifted your head off his shoulder, meeting his gaze. You felt a strong intimacy. The look he was giving you made you nervous and weak. Your faces were only inches apart. Your eyes fell on his lips, and you started to lean in.   
  
"Um-uh, I- thank you for the dance," Spencer blurted as he gently stepped away. He looked more shy than usual. He cleared his throat. "It was lovely."  
  
"I'm glad you finally agreed," you replied, disappointed you were back to reality.   
  
Derek had come over by then and chimed in, "I'm happy to see pretty boy here finally out on the dance floor. It's about time. Good work, Y/N."   
  
"Hey, Y/N. We gotta get Garcia home. She's becoming a wild child," Emily pointed over Garcia treating the pillar as a stripper pole.   
  
You looked over to Spencer, meeting his eyes again, and said, "Well, that's my cue to leave. I had a good time tonight."  
  
"Me too. Drive safe, Y/N. See you on Monday," he responded.  
  
"Bye, Spence."  
  
........  
  
You dropped the girls back at their apartment. Emily decided to spend the night with JJ again. You drove back home in silence with the events of the night swirling in your head. 

After settling back into your apartment, you changed into pajamas and wiped your makeup off. You hopped into bed to snuggle underneath the covers. You were exhausted, but you checked your phone before turning it off to go to bed. There was a message from Spencer.  
  
It read: "Just got back. Get back home safe?"  
  
 _He's so sweet!_  
  
You typed back, **"Yes! I'm all snuggled in bed! Thanks for checking in!"  
**  
"Of course. Have a good night."  
  
You turned off your phone and placed it on the night table next to you. You laid back and stared up at the ceiling.   
  
_I can't believe I thought about kissing him again, and I almost actually went through with it tonight. He's just a friend. Why am I feeling this way? Plus, he pulled away. It's obvious he only thinks of you as a friend. You need to stop whatever this is. Get a grip! But...it was really nice to dance with him. I just want to be close to him all the time. I wish he was here snuggled up with me. He was a good cuddler when we fell asleep on the couch. His hands on me tonight felt amazing. I wonder what else those hands could do...Okay, seriously, you have to stop. Maybe I should hook up with him just to get it out of my system? No, no, Spencer is boyfriend material, not one-night-stand material. Hooking up with him wouldn't do him justice. Plus, that might make things different between us. But what if I want things to be different? What if I want him more than friends?_


	9. Chapter 9

You were scared to go to class on Monday and face him again. You knew that once you saw him again, your overthinking would kick back into gear. You would overanalyze everything he said which was exhausting. Just shut up brain! Plus, you were nervous that he would say something about your almost kiss. You were especially nervous for him to say he didn't want to be friends with you anymore since you kept coming onto him. You weren't really sure how you felt about Spencer. 

You took a deep breath before you walked into the classroom. You saw Spencer sitting in his usual spot, his head in a book. You headed up the steps and slid behind him into your seat. He put down his book and looked over at you.

"Good morning!" he greeted you. He acted perfectly normal and not like you almost just sucked his face off on Saturday and now he is in fear for his life. Whew.

"Hi, good morning to you, too!" you returned the greeting. 

"So, are you still going to uphold your side of the deal?" he asked.

"Of course. I'm a woman of my word. When and where is this so-called boring movie night?"

"It's next Friday. I'll pick you up from your apartment at 6. The movie starts at 7."

"Great! So, what's the movie?" you asked. 

"Don't want to ruin the surprise," he said with a mischievous grin. 

"Okay, okay, fair enough. I doubt it will be boring though. Nothing with you is ever boring," you said.

"Well, I don't know if that's true..." he trailed off. He fidgeted with his watch. 

"What do you mean?" you asked, sensing the mood change.

"I don't think I'm very exciting. I think you are the most exciting in my life. Just ask Derek. I mean, before you, I would mostly spend my weekends in the library or at a museum or studying in my room. I haven't even been to a frat party which is the epitome of the college experience. I guess I just feel like I'm missing out maybe," he said glumly.

"Spencer...I love spending time with you. You don't need to party to have a good time, and you prove that. I have so much fun with you on Thursdays in the library." You thought for a second. You remembered a guy from Kappa Sigma in your genetics class inviting you to their party this Friday night in honor of homecoming the following week. You said maybe, so he gave you the time and address just in case.   
  
"But, if you really do want to go to a frat party, there's one on Friday at Kappa Sig we can go to. It's a homecoming party," you offered. 

He hesitated. "I don't know...Wait, we don't even have a football team."  
  
"That's true, but Cal-Tech still has an honorary homecoming week. It's supposed to be the biggest party of the year according to this guy in my class."  
  
"Still...I'm unsure."  
  
"How about we go just to see if we can cure this case of FOMO, and if you aren't having a good time, then we can always leave," you suggested. 

"Okay...what time?"   
  
"Party starts at 9. We can meet up at your place and order an Uber over," you replied.   
  
"Okay..." he said tentatively.   
  
You placed a hand on his knee. "It's going to be okay. If it's not a good time, we can just finish Lost in Space, right?" You gave him a reassuring smile.   
  
"Yeah...thanks, Y/N. I appreciate it."  
  
.......................................  
  
On class on Monday, you had your conversation with Spencer to distract you from your intruding thoughts. On Wednesday, you weren't so lucky. You were running late again, so you didn't get to talk much to him. You sat down and exchanged a hello but immediately gasped. You pointed at Spencer's head as your other hand covered your mouth.  
  
"You got a haircut!" you exclaimed. _Damn...a sexy haircut, too._

"Oh, yeah, I did. I thought it was time for a change. Do you like it?" he asked tentatively. 

You were at a loss for words. _How do I tell him I like his haircut without telling him he looks like fine as hell and I could eat him up?  
  
_ "I really like it....a lot, actually. You look good," you finally managed to get out. You saw him give a small shy smile as he said thanks. 

Seconds after, Professor Rothschild burst through the door with a big grin on his face.

"Now, students, it is officially October. Do you know what that means?" Professor Rothschild asked the class but received no answer, just a few heads shaking. "So far, we have covered familial love and platonic love. Now, we are in the fun part of the semester: romantic love. Our first topic is the difference between lust and love."  
  
 _How appropriate._

Professor Rothschild started delving into different philosophers and their takes on lust and sex. Normally, you could be an adult and take this seriously but not when you were thinking with your you know what. All you could think about was _him,_ and it was driving you crazy. You had to keep reminding yourself you were just friends.

 _Y/N, you are just friends with him!! Calm down. It's just a haircut stop making it seem like he is walking in slow motion with his shirt off like a scene from Baywatch or something. Ugh, but he just looks so hot. Hot? Before he was just cute, but now he's hot hot, so now my thoughts are going to run wild. Shit...  
  
_ You glanced over at him, and he was intently focused on the lecture. He had the tip of the eraser against his lips and his tongue was pressed up against it. You saw his other hand sprawled over his thigh.   
  
_I would pay so much money to be that eraser right now. I bet his tongue would feel so good, flicking it back and forth and then slowly in circles. Oh god, his hands. Mmmhm Lord have mercy! They look so strong and powerful. I just want him to grab me and push me against a wall or bend me over a table. I want him to pull my legs apart as I run my hands through his soft hair.  
  
_ You fidgeted in your seat. You were starting to feel warm, and you wanted friction so badly between your thighs. You took a deep breath. This was not the place to be doing this. You tried to focus on the lecture, but all you could think about was pulling him into an empty classroom and putting your hands and lips all over him.   
  
Luckily, Professor Rothschild ended the lecture early, and you quickly collected your things. You sped out of your seat and hurried out the door, giving Spencer a quick goodbye. You rushed into the nearest bathroom to splash some cold water on your face. Your sensibilities slowly came back to you.   
  
_You need to calm down. You can't throw yourself at him like that. It would be so embarrassing if he rejected you which he probably will because you would be acting like a freak. Don't ruin this friendship just because you can't keep it in your pants. I think I need a few days away from him, so I can clear my head. By Friday at the party, I will be completely over this._

You pulled out your phone and shot Spencer a quick text: **Hey, can't come on Thursday. See you Friday.  
  
** You took one last deep breath, gathered your things, and walked out the bathroom door. You were determined. 

........  
  
The theme of the frat party was "Sexy and Spooky" since it was October. You rummaged through your drawers to find something suitable. A lightbulb lit up over your head, and you pulled out another drawer. You slipped a short black velvet dress with black ankle-cut boots. You went into your bathroom to find your black velvet choker to match. You also pulled out the cat ears you bought at the dollar store earlier today. A sexy cat was always a classic.   
  
You sprayed some perfume before heading out the door. You grabbed your keys and your phone. You made sure some cash and your license were in the back of your phone case. You liked to travel light going to parties. You almost forgot to grab the 6 pack of beers from the fridge, but you remembered at the last second.   
  
You drove over to Spencer's apartment complex and parked in the space next to his car. You ordered the Uber on your phone. It was 10 minutes away. You walked up the steps, too afraid to take the elevator like Spencer. You knocked on his door, and Derek opened the door.   
  
"Hey, lookin' good, Y/N. Your boy toy is still getting ready. Come in," Derek said, standing back so you had room to enter.   
  
"Great! Thanks!"  
  
"HEY REID YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE," Derek yelled toward Spencer's closed door. You immediately started blushing.   
  
Spencer opened his bedroom door and walked out to greet you. He nudged Derek and half-jokingly said, "Shut up, Morgan."  
  
Spencer obviously got your text about the theme because he was wearing a black button-up shirt with a pattern of white cartoon ghosts on them. The shirt was a little goofy, but it was perfect. He pulled it off.   
  
"You look great! Very spooky, Spence," you said chuckling.   
  
Spencer was looking at you up and down. "Black cat was a good choice, too."  
  
"She looks sexy, doesn't she? What do you think Reid?" Derek prodded him. You were curious to hear his answer.  
  
You saw his cheeks grow pink as he replied, "Uh-yeah...she does."   
  
Satisfied with the answer, Derek finally stopped his teasing. "You kids have fun."   
  
You both said your goodbyes as your phone dinged to alert you that the Uber was outside. You climbed inside and handed Spencer the beers.   
  
"Girls get in for free, but guys outside the frat have to pay either with money or alcohol. This is your ticket in," you explained to him. He nodded. In the library, he was your teacher, but in the party world, you were his.   
  
The Uber parked outside the house, and, already, you could see the multicolored lights blazing through the blinds of the windows and hear the pounding music. You also saw some of the brothers standing outside, guarding the entrance.   
  
You looked over at Spencer who walked up beside you at the end of the driveway.   
  
"You ready?" 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a heads up! A creepy guy tries to force himself upon Y/N, but nothing happens because spoiler: Spencer rescues you. In case this is triggering for anyone, I marked the beginning of this section with "TW START" in bold. You can skip down to the end which is designated by "TW END" in bold, so you can finish the rest of the chapter. Enjoy!

You approached the frat boys guarding the front door. There were three of them, all wearing sexy firemen outfits, and they were clowning on each other. When you walked up, there were two younger girls ahead of you wearing a matching angel and devil costume set. You watched the tallest fireman pull out a sharpie and mark X's on both their hands, just as a precaution in case the cops show up. They giggled and skipped happily inside. When you showed up, you could see that one of the firemen was the guy that invited you, Luke.

"Hey! You made it! Who's your friend?" Luke asked.

"Hi, Luke! This is Spencer from my philosophy class. It's his first frat party so be nice," you playfully warned him. 

"Of course, of course. What's up, Spencer? Welcome to the party, my man. I see you brought us some goodies," Luke said, eyeing Spencer's alcohol. 

"I'm happy to be invited. Here you go," Spencer said as he handed the beers over to Luke. 

"Alright, you guys have a good time!" Luke said. 

You walked a few paces forward and opened the door to walk inside. Spencer followed behind you and closed the door. You and Spencer stood there, taking in the scene and getting a lay of the land. It was a two-story house, and when you entered, you were immediately in the foyer where there was a small living space to the right, a hallway leading to the other parts of the first floor, and a staircase to the left. You saw girls lining the staircase, and you immediately knew it was the line for the bathroom. In the small living space, there were some sorority girls taking photos with their sisters. You could see down the hall into the main living area, where there was a frat boy playing music on a small makeshift stage, and people dancing. You guessed the kitchen was adjacent to the living area, probably where the frat guys were passing out drinks. You looked over at Spencer, and you could tell he felt out of his element. He seemed a little hesitant and overwhelmed. Putting all your thoughts and questions about your feelings about him aside, you knew you had to be a good friend and be there for him. You grabbed his hand and gave it a little squeeze. 

"Hey, just follow my lead, okay? I'll make sure we have a great time. Just tell me you if want to leave at any point. Promise?" you told him. 

"I will, I promise," he said, not looking at you but scanning the house. 

"How about we get you some liquid courage?" you suggested.  
  
Spencer nodded, and you pulled him by the hand down the hallway. You made a left turn into the kitchen, where girls and guys were waiting for the frat "bartenders" to pass them a drink out of coolers behind the counter. You felt more comfortable knowing the drinks weren't already opened, and these guys were making sure no one tampered with them. You got in the short line behind a girl and a guy making out. The girl was wearing a short pink dress while the guy wore an open Hawaiian shirt with khakis. You realized they were Ken and Barbie. 

When you finally got up to the front of the line, you asked for two vodka shots for each of you, and one Smirnoff Ice for each of you. The bartender readily poured the vodka into the shot glasses and handed them to you. He came back with the two Smirnoffs as well, and you and Spencer headed toward the table in the kitchen. You placed your drinks down, holding one shot glass in your hand.   
  
"Cheers!" you said with a big smile, and you clinked shot glasses with Spencer. You both took back the shot, and Spencer made a face. You laughed.   
  
"Round two!" You both took another shot, and Spencer tried to hide his face but to no avail. You handed the shot glasses back to the bartender to be washed out and used again. You both picked up your drinks, and with your other hand, you grabbed Spencer's hand to drag him into the main living area. You waded your way through the crowd of people to find a less packed corner. The music was blaring, so you had to get real close to Spencer to talk to him between sips of your drink.  
  
You stood on your toes and pulled Spencer by the collar of his shirt to gain balance as you asked near his ear, "You doing okay?"  
  
He nodded and gave you a thumbs up. He was still a little nervous, but you could tell the initial jitters were dissolving. You started swaying to the music as Spencer stood there watching and smiling at you as he sipped on his drink. The DJ switched songs to one of your favorites, Mr. Brightside. It's really one of everyone's favorite songs, especially at frat parties because everyone screams it at the top of their lungs. Right on cue, everyone started getting excited and started belting out the lyrics. You couldn't hear the actual song, just the people singing over it. You pulled yourself toward Spencer's ear again and yelled over the music, "I LOVE THIS SONG!!!"  
  
You saw him chuckle and mouth back, "Me too."   
  
You merged closer with the crowd, pulling Spencer with you. You put the cap on your bottle and jumped up and down with the crowd to the beat of the song. You belted out the lyrics with the rest of the crowd, "JEALLLOUSY TURNING SAINTS INTOOOO THE SEA SWIMMING THROUGH SICK LULLLLABIES CHOKING ON YOUR ALLLIBIS!!"   
  
You looked over at Spencer next to you, and he was laughing heartily as he sang along. You could tell the alcohol was kicking in, and you felt the same. You grabbed Spencer's drink and put both of your drinks on the ledge of the mantle to the fireplace along the wall behind you. You grabbed both his hands and resumed jumping up and down. Spencer joined you. You were glad to see such happiness on his face. I think he realized that no one really cares at a frat party because either A) everyone just wants to have a good time, B) nobody really cares, or C) they are too drunk to care or to remember the next day. Spencer took away one hand and spun you around in a twirl. When you swung back around, he grabbed your hand back again, almost as if those few seconds away from your hand were too long away from your touch. When the song ended, the DJ resumed playing the trap music from before. You grabbed your drink from the mantle and chugged the last few sips of it. Spencer finished his drink as well.   
  
"I think it's time for round three!" you called out over the music. Spencer gave you another thumbs up. You grabbed his hand again to make your way through the crowd back into the kitchen. You threw your empty bottles into the bin and got back in line. After you got to the front, you each took two more shots and grabbed another Smirnoff for each of you.   
  
The shots hit you quicker this time, and you started to feel wobbly but giddy. More importantly, Spencer looked _really good_ right now. Was he always this attractive? You pulled him back into the crowd and found your corner again. When you got back to your signature spot, the DJ played another frat party classic: No Hands. Frats love to play this song at parties because it makes every girl think she's a stripper instantly. You were no exception, especially four shots deep.   
  
A random girl from the crowd was drunkenly dancing and found her back make contact with Spencer's front. Realizing she made contact, she started grinding on him and throwing it back. Spencer's eyes widened, and he looked over at you in a panic. His eyes read, "Help what do I do???" You laughed, but there was a twinge of jealousy. You jokingly motioned for him to grab her hips and guide her, but he shook his head rapidly. You decided you teased him enough, so you grabbed his arm and pulled him toward you. The girl stumbled back forward and found someone else in the crowd to be her "dance partner." You and Spencer exchanged a glance and busted out laughing. You both drank some more of your drink, feeling yourself slowly succumb to the disoriented and euphoric feeling of being drunk. You could feel your drunk monkey brain take over. The drunk voice in your head gave you an idea.   
  
"LET'S TAKE MORE SHOTS!" you cheered. You took one more shot while Spencer took two more. You made it back out on the dance floor just in time to hear Often by the Weeknd dominating the speakers. The bass made the house shake. Your drunk brain gave you another idea.  
  
"Here, let me show you how it's done," you said mischievously. You turned away from Spencer and backed up against his abdomen. You reached behind you and grabbed Spencer's arms, placing them on your hips. You could feel his breath hitch, and he regained himself. He tightened his grip against your hips, bending you forward slightly. He leaned down until his head was close to the side of your neck. You felt him whisper in your ear.   
  
"Like this?" he asked in a low voice. His voice lacked the nervousness it normally had. It was unusually confident...and seductive.   
  
_What happened to the Spencer that was panicking 10 minutes ago?_

"Um, yeah you got it," you said.  
  
That's when your breath caught in your throat. It was your turn to recollect yourself. You pulled it together. You wanted to be in control. You wanted to make him nervous, not the other way around. You bent over more, placing your hands on thighs, pressing your ass against him. You danced against him to the feel of the music, twisting your hips. You could feel his hands guide you. At this moment, he was in control. As the song continued on, you wanted to make him sweat, so you pressed up against him more and moved your hips more seductively. You felt his hands move down to your thighs at the bottom seam of your dress. Your plan backfired, and now he was the one making you sweat. Luckily, the song ended moments after, and he released you from his hold. You turned back to face him. He was taking another sip of his drink, and he gave you a wicked grin and a lustful gaze.  
  
**TW START**  
You excused yourself to the bathroom. You needed some space to cool down before you took him into some random bedroom. You didn't want anything to happen when you were both drunk. After you climbed up the stairs, you saw there were only a few girls ahead of you. You waited for a few minutes, and finally, it was your turn. You closed and locked the door behind you. Glancing at yourself in the mirror, you gave yourself a talk. Once you finished your business, you closed the door behind you and headed back down the stairs. You turned the corner to go back down the hallway when a guy stopped you. He was carrying a half-filled bottle of vodka. He stood in front of you and placed his hand on the wall behind you, forcing you against it.  
  
You could feel the stench of alcohol against his breath as he said, "Where you going kitty cat?"   
  
You pushed against him with disgust. "Get off me."

You began to walk away when he grabbed your wrist and pulled you back against the wall. You realized he was a lot stronger than you were, and now you were starting to become worried. You didn't show it to him though. 

"Aw, don't be like that, honey," he slurred as he pressed his lips against your neck. You cringed, looking for anyone to help, but the hallway was empty. You pushed against him again more forcibly, causing him to stumble back a little.   
  
"I said fuck off," you growled.   
  
"Bitch," he cursed as he grabbed your arm and started to pull you up the stairs toward the bedroom. "You're mine tonight."  
  
Before you could hit him, you felt another person grab your other arm. You panicked. You could take on this douchebag, but you weren't sure you could take on two of them. You whipped your head to look behind you. A wave of relief washed over you. It was Spencer.

"Hey, let go of her. Now." Spencer ordered, daggers shooting from his eyes. 

"Oh, my bad, this your girl, man? You hittin' this already?" he said as he immediately let go of your arm. Before you scrambled back down the stairs away from him, you spat in his face and said, "Fuck. You." You turned back toward Spencer and said, "Let's get out of here."  
  
"She's a bitch anyway. It wouldn't have been fun," he called out as the two of you started to walk away.

Spencer wasn't done though. He walked up the steps and grabbed the fuck boy by the shirt. He glared at him and with a low, angry voice he said, "It doesn't matter if she's my girlfriend or not. She said no. That should be enough for you. I'm going to give you something to help remind you next time." At that moment, Spencer punched him in the face, right in the nose. Blood spurted out of his face, and Spencer took a few steps back looking down at his hand, surprised by his own actions. He looked back at you in shock, and said, "We gotta go."  
  
**TW END**

Spencer grabbed your hand, and you both ran out the door. You didn't have time to call an Uber because you knew the guy would soon catch up. The two of you ran down the street until you were far enough away from the house. You were both out of breath by the time you reached the CVS down the road. You guys plopped down on the sidewalk on the side of the building.   
  
"Y/N...are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked with eyes filled with concern.   
  
"Yeah, I'm fine...well, no, I'm a little rattled. I was getting scared. Thank you for helping me. How's your hand?" you asked in return.   
  
"It will heal soon," Spencer said. "I'm not sorry I punched him, but I am sorry that we had to leave early. I was having a good time with you."

"Me too. It was good to see you relax. Let's not let this guy ruin our night. ATO is throwing a homecoming party tonight, too. Wanna head over there?" 

"Okay, sounds good."  
  
You ordered another Uber on your phone. While you waited, you and Spencer talked about the funny things that happened during the night to cheer you up. By the time the Uber arrived, you almost completely forgot about the incident. You both hopped inside and gave the driver the address. It was time for party number 2.


	11. Chapter 11

When you arrived at the ATO party, it was around 11:30, so the party was roaring. It was a one-story house, but there was a huge fenced-in backyard with a pool. The party was outside. Luckily for Spencer, the frat guys that were guarding the door had gone in to join the party, so Spencer was able to come to the party without paying a fee. You guys headed through the house, where you found couples drunkenly kissing on the couches in the living area. Spencer opened the sliding glass door, and you walked through it, right into the raging party. There were people in the pool, carefree about their soaked clothes or undergarments. Other people were playing cornhole or mingling on the pool deck. Some guys were playing beer pong. Like the last party, the music was blaring. You were surprised the cops weren't called yet by the neighbors, but you guessed the neighbors were being nice since it was homecoming week. Maybe they knew ahead of time and got the hell out of Dodge.

You and Spencer immediately headed toward the drink coolers. Next to the coolers was a table with an assortment of alcohol complemented by shot glasses. Without even exchanging a word, you both poured shots and gulped them down. Throughout the night, you and Spencer played against two brothers in cornhole, taking a drink every time you missed the board completely. You played a few rounds and the more Spencer drank, the more he missed which made him drink even more. Fortunately, you were pretty good at cornhole, so you were only mildly drunk. Spencer, though? Completely zooted. On a different fucking planet. Drunk out of his mind.

You knew Spencer was blacked out when he said, "My body needs water I need water lots of water mmmhmm I love water."

You were holding him upright, making sure he didn't fall on his face. You offered to grab him a bottle of water.

"No, no, no not that water, silly," he giggled.

He pulled away from you and jumped into the pool. Everyone in the pooled cheered, and when he resurfaced, he yelled out a "wohoo," causing more applause in response. You couldn't imagine sober Spencer or even mildly drunk Spencer doing that in a million years. That's how you knew he would not remember the night from this moment on. You approached the side of the pool as he swam over to greet you. He shook the water out of his hair and looked at you with a goofy smile.

"Come on in! The water is juuuuuuuuuust fine," he slurred.

"I bet it is. I think I'm going to stay on land though. I'm in a velvet dress, you know," you replied.

"Pffft, just take your clothes off," he said nonchalantly. "Look I'm taking off my clothes!" He tried to get his soaked shirt off, but his lack of coordination failed him. His shirt stayed on. "Y/N...it won't come off," he said with a very glum look. His poor drunk heart thought it was the saddest thing ever.

You examined the people in the pool. Most of them were super intoxicated, too, and a lot of the people mingling in the backyard had moved inside or headed home. You decided "fuck it" because you knew most these people wouldn't remember anyway, especially Spencer, so you were safe. You slipped off your velvet dress and boots, revealing a lacy black bra with a matching underwear set. You jumped into the water, making sure it splashed Spencer. Everyone in the pool cheered for you as well. You resurfaced and rubbed the water out of your eyes to find Spencer staring at you with glossy eyes.

"Hey, you're right the water is really nice!" you said as you treaded water. Spencer was tall enough that he didn't need to tread.

"You're really nice," he said dazedly.

"Thanks, Spence," you laughed in response.

"Hey!! Y/N!!" Spence said as his eyes lit up.

"Yes?" "If you don't wanna tread water, you can hop on my back, and I can carry you around," Spencer suggested.

"See, now you're putting that high IQ to work," you responded.

You swam behind him and hopped on his back. You wrapped your arms around him as he laced his hands around your legs to support you. He carried you around the pool, saying hi and introducing the two of you to other strangers in the pool. He was super friendly, and everyone encouraged him. You just smiled and shook your head, mouthing "He's super drunk" to everyone you met. Toward the end of the night, you hopped off his back and out of the pool. You sat by the edge of the pool, dipping just your feet in. You attempted to dry off before ordering an Uber back to Spencer's apartment and then to your apartment. Spencer stumbled out of the pool and sat down next to you.

"Hey, let's dry off. I'll order you an Uber, and then when we get to your place, I'll order one for myself since I'm clearly soberer than you are," you explained to him.

"No, nooooo. Don't go home, Y/N. You should stay with me," Spencer pleaded with his sad puppy dog eyes. He was cute when he was drunk. Well, he was cute all the time.

"No, it's okay. I'll make sure you're safe, and then I'll head home," you persisted. You didn't want to inconvenience him and possibly save him from embarrassment in the morning.

"Oh, okay..." Spencer conceded.

Once you were dry enough, you slipped back on your velvet dress and called the Uber. You made your way to the front of the house, helping Spencer not trip and eat it. The Uber ride back to Spencer's was mostly Spencer chatting nonstop to the driver. You tipped him extra. Once out of the car, you helped Spencer up the stairs and into his apartment. Luckily, you found his apartment key in his pocket, so you didn't have to wake Derek up to let you guys in.

When you reached to grab the keys out of his pocket, Spencer joked, "Hey, woah, at least buy me dinner first." He thought that was really funny.

Once inside, you guided him to his bedroom, closing the door behind you. Spencer collapsed on his bed, murmuring about how his bed was like a cloud or something. You left Spencer face first on the bed as you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge out in the kitchen and a bottle of aspirin after searching through the cabinets. When you came back, Spencer was making snow angels on the bed. As you placed the items on his bedside dresser, Spencer abruptly stopped. You saw he was passed out sleeping and thought it was your best opportunity to remove his slightly damp clothes. You quietly unbuttoned his shirt and slid off his pants, placing them in the laundry bin. He now was in his boxers, but you didn't have the energy to put real pajamas on him. You rolled him to his side, so you could tuck him under the sheets and blankets. He looked so peaceful sleeping.

Just as you were about to leave, you felt hands grab you and pull you into the bed. You fell beside Spencer on the bed facing him, and he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you up against him. His bare skin felt soothing and warm against your body, still a little chilly from the pool. He held onto you like he was going to lose you, and his embrace was comforting. You were tempted to just dissolve into him and drift off to sleep, but you wanted to respect Spencer's privacy, especially since he was just in his underwear.

While you debated what to do in your head, Spencer mumbled to you against the top of your head, "Stay with me...you're so soft...cuddly...warm..mhmmm."

He started running his hands through your tangled damp hair, pulling it back away from your face and tucking strands behind your ear.

"I should really get back to my place," you mumbled back but all you wanted to do was stay right between his arms. You just didn't want him to wake up and regret you being in his bed with him. He seemed private about his room earlier when you came over.

"My bed is big enough for two of us," he pressed his lips against your forehead causing shivers down your spine.

"I'll stay for a bit," you offered. He moved his hands toward your back, pushing you closer and tightening his embrace.

"You looked really good tonight. The sexiest cat I've seen," he rambled. "So sexy in lace....so beautiful...I want you, Y/N."

Your ears perked up. _What did he just say?_

"Oh-I-um-yeah- thanks, thank you," you stammered. "What do you mean?"  
  
"I wanna see ya in lace all the time...no, no, nooo, I want to see ya without anything on," he slurred.   
  
"Oh," you said softly. _Is he just horny and drunk or was this just drunk Spencer saying what sober Spencer doesn't have the courage to say? I wonder if he has those same thoughts I've been having about him._

"I just wanna do this all the time," he said as he peppered your forehead and cheeks with soft kisses. "You are sooo.... super huggable. I have to resist hugging you every day."  
  
You weren't really sure what to say or do in this situation. Do you pry to find out more or should you talk with him in the morning?   
  
"You should get some rest. Sleep well. Goodnight," you replied as he softly dozed off. You placed a single kiss where his neck meets his chest. You started to drift off to sleep as well, finding comfort in his arms. You could feel his breathing change as he transitioned into a deeper sleep. You meant to wake up early in the morning to move to the couch, but you were so tired and comfortable. You ended up sleeping next to him the whole night.  



	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a really short chapter because I was busy this weekend. I have a lot of free time this upcoming week, so I plan to write a lot more! Thanks for your patience :)

Spencer's rustling as he reached over to grab the bottles of water and aspirin on the nightstand woke you up. You gently stirred awake and peeked one eye slightly open. You could see the blur that was Spencer popping the pills in his mouth and gulping down water. He was sitting up, and he placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose. He let out a gentle sigh and muttered something. When you opened your eyes all the way, Spencer noticed and offered you a sheepish but slightly worried look.

"We've got to stop meeting like this," you said with a chuckle. You didn't mind meeting like this. Sleeping next to Spencer was something you could get used to. 

Happy you broke the ice, you saw Spencer's face soften a little. He gave you an embarrassed smile as he said, "Derek is going to have a field day with this...do you mind telling me what happened last night?" You saw him look at you up and down. You realized that he assumed you slept together. Like _slept together._

"What's the last thing you remember?"

He thought for a second as he lied back down on his pillows, facing you. "Let's see, I remember playing cornhole. Everything after that...no idea," he said. 

You nodded. That seemed about right based on your predictions. You filled him in on the rest of the night.  
  
"You jumped in the pool after that, and, somehow, you managed to pull me into the pool, too. We mingled with some of the other people in the pool as you gave me a piggyback ride. That was really fun. Once we dried off, I got you home, and your clothes were damp, so I put them in the laundry bin for you. I was about to head home when you pulled me into bed. You wrapped your arms around me so tightly I couldn't leave. I ended up falling asleep, and now here we are," you laughed as you recalled the memories from last night.  
  
It was good to see Spencer laugh at himself. He said that some of the memories were coming back to him now, and you were glad. You would have been bummed if he didn't remember one of the best nights of your life and, probably, his life. The two of you went back and forth teasing each other and discussing the events from the night before. You were enamored by the way the light beams from the window landed on Spencer. They highlighted the tufts of his hair and the contours of his face. The blanket laid right at the band of his boxers. He didn't seem nervous that he was shirtless around you anymore; instead, he was too interested in what you were saying, hanging onto every word. You wanted to do this every morning, just talking while lying in bed.   
  
"How's your headache, party animal?" you asked. 

"It's alright, could be better," he answered.   
  
"Here, let me help."  
  
You sat up and ordered Spencer to place his head between your hands on your lap. He hesitated, but he moved into position, and you felt his soft hair land gently on your palms. You ran your hands through his hair as he closed his eyes. He uttered an "Mmmmm" of approval. You massaged his forehead before you moved your hands to his temples, rubbing your fingers in circles. You felt his tension dissolve right between your fingers. After that, you traced his jawline up and down.   
  
"That feels amazing. Thank you," he muttered. He was in a daze. Suddenly, your stomach gurgled. It was asking for waffles.   
  
"I'll make us some breakfast," Spencer offered. He sat up and made his way out of the bed. You watched him as he grabbed two loose shirts and a pair of boxers out of the drawer. He threw you one of the shirts and boxers at you while he put on the other shirt.   
  
"Here. You can wear these if you don't want to wear that dress anymore," Spencer suggested.   
  
You thanked him as he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him to give you privacy. You crawled out of bed, slipped off your dress, and put on Spencer's clothes. They were big on you, so you felt small but in a cute kind of way. It was like his clothes were giving you a bear hug. You flopped back onto the bed and scrolled through your phone. You texted the girls' group chat to arrange a lunch/coffee date for Tuesday. You promised them lots of hot gossip. Everyone quickly accepted the invite, including JJ. You were excited that JJ was finally joining the Tuesday coffee dates.

When you walked out of the room, you saw Spencer setting the breakfast nook table with waffles drizzled in syrup and berries, almost like he read your stomach's mind. You happily sat down at the table, digging into the waffles hungrily. Spencer joined you. After chatting and devouring your food for a few minutes, Derek heard the commotion and came out of his room. He was wearing exercise gear.   
  
"Good morning, you two. How well did you guys sleep?" Derek said with a mischievous grin.   
  
"Very well, actually," Spencer replied with a "fuck off, Derek" undertone.   
  
"Ah, I see. Nice outfit, Y/N. It looks kind of familiar..." Derek said, knowing damn well it was Spencer's clothes.   
  
You took the teasing with good humor and replied, "I got it at a very lovely store called Spencer's Drawer."   
  
"I think Reid shops at that same store," Derek ran with the joke. "Anyway, how was the party last night?"  
  
"We had a really good time," Spencer said with a smile. 

"Spencer punched a guy last night!" you blurted out. You wanted to see the look on Derek's face, and you weren't disappointed. You thought he was going to have to pick up his jaw off the floor. 

"Woah, you're messing with me, right? No way. Reid?" Derek said in disbelief. 

"Yeah! Some ass clown was forcibly coming onto me, and when he wouldn't listen, Spencer punched him right in the nose! I'm pretty sure that guy is gonna need a nose job," you explained fervently. 

"She's exaggerating," Spencer said but he was smiling, clearly loving the praise and your excitement. 

"Nice one, Reid," Derek said approvingly. "I'm proud of you, man. I gotta head to the gym, so you guys have fun...all alone," Derek winked as he headed out the door.   
  
You caught Spencer rolling his eyes. You tried to hide your blushing by stuffing your face with more waffles, but you couldn't help but think about what Derek was implying. You kept thinking about how Spencer said he wanted you, and you were realizing, staring at Spencer enjoy his own plate of waffles, that you wanted him, too. You dropped your fork on your plate as you accepted the fact that you possibly wanted Spencer as more than a friend. All these feelings weren't going away anytime soon. You decided to stop fighting these feelings and see where they take you. After all the magical memories that were made last night, you wanted to feel that way forever, and you had a feeling that being with Spencer would be like that. As you sat in his boxers and old t-shirt, you accepted the fact that you had feelings for Spencer.

_Welp, there's no going back now._


	13. Chapter 13

After your epiphany, you needed to get some space and think. After you finished breakfast, you made an excuse about how you had to get home, and you collected your things from his bedroom. Now, in the daylight, you could fully take in the appearance of his room. His bedding and sheets were dark grey and navy, and he had one of those padded faux leather headboards. His dresser, shelves, and nightstand were grey and had a modern cut. The shelves seemed out of place with the room. The room was very neat and organized while the shelves were overflowing with a random assortment of books. The shelves looked like they were about to burst. On his nightstand, you could see a pair of glasses, a watch, and his cell phone arranged nicely next to the aspirin and water bottle. There was a bathroom connected to his room, but the door was closed, so you didn't manage to sneak a peek. 

When you were done grabbing your stuff, you walked back out into the main living area where Spencer was relaxing on the couch, waiting for you. He told you that you could keep his clothes, and you can return them next weekend since you were both going to the movie night together. You thanked him because you were really comfy and didn't feel like changing. Spencer walked you out the door to your car, making sure you were safe, and you said your goodbyes. On the drive home, you didn't even turn on the radio. The thoughts swirling in your head were enough noise for you. 

You spent the rest of your weekend working on class assignments in between watching Netflix and taking a bike ride through the nearby park. You tried your best to distract yourself from your confusing- and sometimes unholy- thoughts about Spencer. You hoped talking with your girls on Tuesday would help put you at ease and help you figure out what to do.   
  
............................

On Tuesday, you met up with the other three ladies at your usual spot in the cafe. They were already sitting down when you got there. Emily presented you with your drink, and you handed Emily cash in return. You plopped your bag down as you made your way into the seat.

"So, Y/N, when can I see my chocolate thunder again?" Penelope asked immediately. 

"Your _what?"_ you chuckled. "What is chocolate thunder?"  
  
"Um, hello!! It's Derek Morgan!" Penelope replied as if it was obvious. 

"Oooooh, gotcha. I'm going to the movie night with Spencer this weekend, but maybe we can all do something together next time? I can ask Spencer for his number tomorrow if you want me to," you offered. 

"Yes, please! He is so dreamy," Penelope gushed.   
  
"What happened to Kevin?" JJ chimed in.

"Been there, done that," Penelope said as she waved her hand.   
  
"Wow, Garcia, I didn't know you were such a player," Emily teased.  
  
"I am a guy magnet what can I say? Anyway, we need to focus on more pressing business. Y/N, what's the gossip?" Penelope redirected the conversation.  
  
"Yeah, Y/N! I've been dying to hear about it all weekend," JJ added. 

"Well..." you paused. You were having second thoughts about telling them because once you tell them, everything becomes real, and it really does become the point of no return.  
  
"Yes? What is it?" Emily prodded.  
  
You decided that you've been trying to figure this out on your own for long enough, and you needed to tell them for your sanity's sake. 

"So...you know how Spencer and I went to the frat party this weekend? To make a long story short, we had a really good time. It was tons of fun, but Spencer was super drunk, and when I dropped him back at his apartment, he pulled me into bed with him. Then, he proceeded to kiss my forehead as he told me he wanted me and called me sexy in my cat costume. I don't think he remembers saying or doing any of these things," you explained.  
  
"Woah, _Spencer_ said those things? It's always the quiet ones," Penelope said.  
  
"So, how do you feel about that? How do you feel about him?" Emily pressed further.   
  
"I ended up staying the night with him, but nothing happened. We both fell asleep. I'm not sure if he was saying those things because those are his true feelings about me or if he was just drunk. Honestly, it made me realize that I think I want him, too. These feelings have been building up the past few weeks. He came over, and all I could think about was kissing him, and I almost kissed him at the bar after the slow dance. I just don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm just lonely, and my heart is just looking for the closest source of attention and affection or if I really do have feelings for him. If I really do have feelings for him, I don't want to ruin what we have as friends. What if he rejects me, and then everything is weird after that? Or what if we date for a little bit, and we have a super horrible break up? I don't know what to do," you said as you put your hands over your face. You were feeling very overwhelmed. 

"I see the way that boy looks at you, and I think it's safe to say he won't reject you. Plus, Spencer doesn't seem like the type to want to have drunk sex," Penelope reassured you.

"That's true...he did punch a frat boy for wanting to drunkenly take advantage of me, but that's a story for another time," you commented.   
  
"Spencer also doesn't seem like the type of guy who would be petty and throw away your friendship if you guys did break up," JJ said. 

"I think you need to explore these feelings, Y/N. You're always going to think about the 'what ifs' if you don't. If the feelings pass or Spencer doesn't return the feelings, the sooner you can move on," Emily advised you.  
  
"Yeah, you guys are definitely right," you said.  
  
"You said you and Spencer are going to the movie night this weekend, right?" Emily asked.  
  
"Yeah, we are! Why?"   
  
"That's the perfect opportunity to explore your feelings. Treat the night like it's a real date with him and see how you feel about it. That way you can imagine what it is really like being with him. If you like it and your feelings grow, then you have your answer," Emily suggested.  
  
"That's actually a really good plan, Emily! I'll let you guys know how it goes," you happily agreed. You were starting to feel less stressed about everything. You had a plan in place. Finally, a way to get a definite answer.   
  
"I think you two would make a really cute couple! He seems like a really good guy for you. Oh my gosh! I just had the most amazing idea. If you go out with him, you and Spencer can go on a double date with me and Derek!" Penelope exclaimed. 

"She doesn't even have his number yet, and she's practically planning the wedding," JJ laughed. 

"Thanks, I love you guys. I was so distraught over all this, and, now, I feel so much better," you said.  
  
"I think this calls for a group hug," Penelope ordered.   
  
The four of you stood up and joined together in a hug. You didn't want to admit it, but you started tearing up. You felt so grateful to have such good friends in your life. Even though you were upset at first about transferring from Georgie to California and uprooting your whole life, you were glad that you did make the move.


	14. Chapter 14

On Wednesday, you slipped into your seat next to Spencer as usual. You greeted each other with a warm welcome. Once you sat down, you reminded yourself to fulfill your promise to Garcia.

“Hey, do you remember Penelope? She was one of my friends that joined us at that new bar.”

“Yeah, I think I remember her. She was the one flirting with Morgan, right?”

“Yep, that’s her. I promised I would help a girl out and get Derek’s number from you. Is that cool?” you asked.

“Of course. One second,” he said as he pulled out his phone from his pocket. He tapped the phone screen a few times and scrolled through his contact list. He read the number out loud to you as you copied it into your phone. You quickly relayed the number to Penelope in a short text. She responded immediately with burst of excited messages. She was blowing up your phone, so you switched the phone the silent.  
  
“Thanks! I just sent her the number, and she’s already freaking out,” you told him.

“They would be an interesting pair,” Spencer observed.

“They would, indeed,” you agreed.

“So, are we still going to the movie event on Friday night?” Spencer asked.

“Yeah! I’m looking forward to it,” you replied. _More than you even know._

“Great! The movie night is outside, so it might be chilly. You might want to bring a jacket or a blanket,” Spencer suggested.  
  
“Okay, I’ll make a mental note of that. Are we still meeting up tomorrow? I think we have a quiz next week,” you reminded him.  
  
“10 am?”  
  
“Sounds good to me,” you said with a smile.  
  
He smiled back at you as he fiddled with the pencil in his hands.

…………………….

When you walked up to the study room, you could hear a muffled conversation.  
  
 _Who could Spencer be talking to? It’s usually just us up here._

When you opened the door, you could see Spencer sitting at the table in his usual spot, but there was a girl you have never seen before sitting across from him. She had dark brown hair with bangs, and she was wearing a beige sweater with a white collared shirt underneath. Her complexion was flawless and pale. She was glowing. They both paused their conversation when you entered the room. This mysterious girl gave you a smile.  
  
“Hey!” Spencer greeted you.  
  
You decided to be polite despite some twinges of jealousy tugging at your heart.

“Hi, guys. I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you,” you held out your hand, and she shook it. “And you are…?”

“Oh, I’m Maeve! It’s nice to meet you, too. I hope it’s okay that I joined in on your study session,” Maeve replied.

You fought back the jealousy monster trying to claw its way out from inside you because Maeve seemed nice and hasn’t done anything to wrong you. You were trying to give this situation the benefit of the doubt.  
“Of course you can join us.”

“Great!”

You were unpacking your things when your thoughts started overflowing.  
 _  
Who is this girl? How does she know Spencer? Why did he invite her here? I thought this was our special spot. Does Spencer have feelings for her? Does she have feelings for Spencer? What is going on? God, I hope this doesn’t turn me into a third wheel. I need some of my questions answered before I jump to any conclusions._  
  
“So, how do you guys know each other?” you asked.

“Maeve is in one of my other classes. She has a really big exam coming up, so I invited her to study with us,” Spencer explained.

“Oh, okay, cool,” you said, not really sure what to say.  
  
“What about you, Y/N? How do you know Spencer?” Maeve nicely asked you. She seemed genuinely interested.  
  
“We are in the same philosophy class,” you answered. She nodded with a smile in response. There was a pause of awkward silence between the three of you, so you asked her another question.  
  
“What are you studying to be?”  
  
“When I graduate, I want to be a geneticist,” she replied softly.  
  
“Wow, that’s awesome!” you responded.  
  
 _Man, it’s really hard to hate this girl. She’s so nice! I feel horrible for being so jealous and hateful towards her in my head. I hope Spencer doesn’t have a crush on her because she’s tough competition. Look at her. She’s beautiful. She’s kind. She’s smart. She’s the whole package!  
  
_ As the three of you worked on your respective tasks, you observed the behavior between Maeve and Spencer. You sensed a chemistry between them. They were clearly good friends, but you weren’t sure if you sensed any romantic attraction between them. You didn’t catch Spencer looking at her with longing eyes or acting bashful and flustered around her. She didn’t attempt to touch his hand when she laughed at one of his jokes or make a flirty remark. Sometimes, you had to catch yourself from overanalyzing every little comment. You tried your best to stay objective, but it was hard. You were so distracted that you barely even studied. As the day went on, and you listened in on their conversation, you noticed that Spencer and Maeve were very similar. It wasn’t just that they had similar interests, but they had the same personality and the same mannerisms.  
  
 _Oh, fuck me. It was like they were made for each other._

As you thought about the situation, you realized you weren’t just jealous. You were also hurt by the fact Spencer brought someone else to the special study room. It wasn’t just something between you and him anymore. He took away your sacred alone time with him, and you were hurt that it meant more to you than it did to him. You knew he probably didn’t think about that and was just trying to be nice by inviting her, but it still crushed you to know he didn’t even consider your feelings. It would have been nice if he would have asked you about it first or told you in advance. Your hurt feelings sent you down a slippery slope. You started thinking about Spencer replacing you with Maeve and how the study room would become their secret hideout, and you would just dissolve away. You excused yourself to the bathroom because you could feel the tears swelling up. Once you got into the stall, you slid down to the ground and pulled your knees to your chest.  
  
 _He doesn’t want you. He wants her._ The little voice in your head told you.  
  
 _Stop. Stop it. I don’t know that for sure. He’s allowed to have girl friends just like you are allowed to have guy friends. Why am I acting so controlling and jealous? This isn’t like me._

You pulled out your phone and texted the girls’ chat asking for guidance:  
 **I’m studying with Spencer, but he brought another girl with him… Help! What do I do?? I’m hiding out in the bathroom.**

Emily: _Who is she?_

**Her name is Maeve. They have a class together.**

JJ: _Okay, don’t panic. They are probably just friends._

 **What if they are friends, but he has feelings for her??  
  
** Garcia: _Okay, but did he invite her to see a movie with him? Did he also pull her into bed and said that he wanted her and kissed her forehead? Did he slow dance with her even though he swore he would never dance?_  
  
 **No…I don’t think so….  
  
** Garcia: _See! You are the one he wants to spend time with the most._

Emily: _They probably only see each other in class. You guys hang out outside of class all the time._

 **You guys are right. Ugh, now I feel so stupid and childish!  
  
** JJ: _Don’t worry. We’ve all had our jealous moments. :)_  
  
Garcia: _Get back in there girl and show him you are priority numero uno!_

You wiped your eyes with some toilet paper. After you took a few deep breaths and regained your composure, you stood up and walked out of the bathroom. Every step you took back to the study room, you could feel yourself feeling better and better. You kept telling yourself there was nothing to be worried about.  
  
When you came back in, Maeve and Spencer were deep in the zone studying. You quietly sat back down and resumed your fake studying. You gave up on actually trying to study, and you promised yourself you would devote Sunday to it. Soon enough, it was the mid-afternoon, and the three of you decided to be done for the day.  
  
As the three of you strolled toward the elevator, Maeve asked you about your plans for the weekend. You informed her that Spencer was taking you to the movie club’s event on Friday. She seemed very excited for you, telling you that she went to the one last month, and it was phenomenal.  
  
“You’re going to have a great time!” she assured you.  
  
“What about you? What are your plans for the weekend?” you returned the question. The more you talked with her, the more your jealously dissolved. You were starting to really like her.

“Actually, my fiancé, Robert, and I are traveling to the Grand Canyon this weekend to do some hiking and documenting of the local flora and fauna.”  
  
 _Fiancé. Damn, I feel like crap now. I was jealous over an engaged woman. Wow, I’ve hit a new low. Wait, a minute…where is her ring?  
  
_ “I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon, but based on the pictures I’ve seen, it looks amazing and so beautiful. That sounds like such a fun trip! Also, congratulations on being engaged.”  
  
“Thank you! We are planning to have the wedding in January,” she told you.  
  
“Do you mind if I see the ring?” you asked her.  
  
“ I would totally show you, but it’s at the jeweler at the moment. I was clumsy, and I accidentally broke a part of it. Next time I see you, I’ll show it to you,” she promised. You thought it was nice that Maeve thought she was going to see you again. You wanted to see her again, too, regardless of if she was taken or not. You were glad you were finally past your judgmental feelings and were getting along with her.  
  
But, you admitted to yourself that one thought still lingered in the back of your head: _What if Spencer still has feelings for her even if she’s taken?_


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The movie in this chapter is called Yentl, and it is one of my favorite movies of all time! I highly recommend it. I also thought it would be fun to throw it into this fic because it stars Mandy Pakintin who plays Gideon in the first couple of seasons of Criminal Minds. This is an unpopular opinion, but I really liked Gideon! I thought he was a great profiler and an interesting character. I was sad when he left the show. I know a lot of people like Rossi better, but I don't think liking Rossi and liking Gideon are mutually exclusive. I like both of them! Anyway, that's enough about me! Back to the good stuff, am I right? Enjoy :) !

_Today is the day. The moment of truth._

You were currently drying off after your shower. You threw your hair in a towel and sorted through the clothes in your closet. Finally, you found something you liked: a baby blue romper. It was perfect because it was casual enough to be comfy but nice enough to show that you cared about looking good. Once you were changed, you unraveled your hair from the towel to blow dry it. The finishing touches were some makeup, perfume, and sandals.

Just as you finished putting on your shoes, you heard a knock at the door. It was just turning 6 pm, so Spencer was right on time, as usual. You got up from sitting on the edge of your bed, grabbed a white cardigan, and flitted toward the door.   
  
“Hey, there! I’m all ready to go,” you told him after you opened the door.   
  
“Great! I have everything we need already in the car,” Spencer replied.  
  
You closed the door behind you, and the two of you made your way down the stairs leading out to the parking lot. “What did you pack for us?” you asked.

“You’ll see when we get there.”  
  
“I guess that means you won’t tell me the movie either.”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
You hopped into his car parked out front. Once he slid into his seat, he turned on the radio. It was playing an instrumental music station. The music was pretty. It reminded you of the music that would play out of a jewelry box with a ballerina spinning in the center. The melodies were soft and tender, romantic almost. He rolled down the windows a little bit, and you could feel the cool nighttime air flow through you. Your hair gently flowed at the will of the breeze. The whole ride over to the campus you and Spencer just quietly enjoyed the moment.  
  
You assumed the Classic Movies Club was having their event inside an auditorium with a projector screen or in one of the arts building, but, to your pleasant surprise, the event was outside on the north athletic field. Once Spencer parked, you helped him unload his belongings from the back of the car. He brought blankets, pillows, and a picnic basket.   
  
“Spencer, this is so amazing! I thought I was the loser in the bet, but it looks like I won,” you remarked as you couldn’t hide the excitement on your face.  
  
“I wanted to make this night as memorable as possible,” he replied.  
  
“This was such a wonderful surprise. I can’t wait!” you exclaimed as you picked up the blankets to carry.   
  
You walked over to the field where you could see a large inflatable projector screen on the back side of the field. There were groups of students scattered across the field in front of the screen. It was a moderate turn out. Spencer pointed over to an empty spot behind the other groups. It was the perfect distance away from the screen, and it gave you enough privacy from the other students.   
  
You laid the largest blanket out on the ground, and Spencer arranged the pillows and the picnic basket on top. You held onto the second blanket as you sat down. Spencer sat down next to you and rummaged through the picnic basket.   
  
“So, what kind of goodies do you have in there?” you wondered.  
  
“I brought waters, soda, popcorn, candy, and pretzels. Would you like anything?” he asked. He looked over at you in a way that made your heart throb and then melt into a puddle.   
  
“Hmmm…have you ever mixed the popcorn with chocolate candy before?” 

“Huh, no, I’ve never thought about doing that,” he said.  
  
“Here, try it!” You reached into the basket and pulled out the popcorn and the bag of M&Ms. You poured some of the chocolate candies into the large bag of popcorn. You reached in and grabbed a handful of the mixture. You loved the sweet and salty combination.

Spencer followed your lead and copied what you did. He popped the handful into his mouth. You could see the delightful surprise on his face.   
  
“That’s actually really delicious. It’s surprising the flavors mix so well. They kind of go together like peanut butter and jelly. Did you know that peanut butter and jelly sandwiches were invented in 1901 by Julia Davis Chandler?” Spencer said after he finished.   
  
“No, I didn’t know that, you big nerd,” you teased as you playfully shoved him on the shoulder.   
  
“The more you know.”  
  
Just then, a cold breeze blew through the field. The sun was setting further, and the night was growing cooler by the second. You shivered, and Spencer noticed the goosebumps on your arms. He unrolled the second blanket and placed it over the both of you. You gave him a grateful look.   
  
A nerdy student with bulging glasses and swoopy brown hair came in front of the screen with a microphone. You could instantly tell he was a part of the Classic Movies Club. Everything about him said he was.   
  
“Good evening, Cal-Tech! Thank you for joining us tonight for our monthly movie showing. This month we are proud to present…drum roll, please….Yentl!” he announced.   
  
Everyone in the field started clapping, and the man with the microphone paused as he waited for the applause to die down.   
  
“Please, sit back, relax, and enjoy the film. We are serving drinks and snacks at the concession stand. The bathrooms are at the concession stand as well. Here we go!”  
  
He turned off the mic and walked away from the screen where the movie started rolling. You had never heard of the movie before, but you were open minded and willing to give it a chance.   
  
The movie was over two hours long. It featured Barbra Streisand and Mandy Patkintin. It followed the story of a Jewish girl named Yentl who desperately wanted to learn about the Talmud, but it was forbidden by religious law. After her father passes away, Yentl leaves town and disguises herself as a boy, so she can enroll herself into a religious school for boys. While she learns and discusses the Talmud with her male peers, she ends up falling in love with one of them, Avigdor. Avigdor starts developing feelings for her, but he is also in love with another woman who he plans to marry. You were enthralled by the movie the whole time. The storyline was amazing and intricate, the music was beautiful, and the dialogue was witty. You reminded yourself to add the soundtrack to your Spotify when you got back to your place.   
  
Once the movie began, you remembered about Emily’s idea for this evening. You wanted to make this evening like a date as much as possible without being obvious, so you could figure out your feelings. You both started the movie sitting up. Spencer had his long legs stretched out in front of him with his hands behind him to support him upright. You were sitting cross-legged as you shoveled some more popcorn in your mouth. However, after a few scenes into the movie, you wanted to get comfortable. You shifted positions and laid horizontally with your head in Spencer’s lap. You could tell by his body language that you caught him off guard. After the initial surprise was over, you felt him shift a little bit and relax.   
  
_Is putting your head on a guy’s dick too forward? Am I being too obvious? Oh well, too late now. I’m already comfy.  
  
_ Spencer was absent mindedly running his hands through your hair as he watched the film. He would occasionally switch to stroking your shoulders and back lightly. You were so engrossed by the film that you almost didn’t notice the butterflies he was giving you. About halfway through the movie, Spencer gently placed his fingers on your chin and titled your head towards him, so you were facing away from of the screen. He gazed down at you.  
  
“Hey, I hate to bother you because you seem so comfy, but do you mind if we switch positions. My legs are falling asleep,” he whispered. His voice was low and a little raspy.  
  
“Sure,” you whispered back. You complied by lifting your head off his lap. You laid on your stomach facing the screen with your arms propping your head up. Spencer joined you in the same position, his arms rubbing against yours. He made sure the blanket still covered the both of you. He was right up against you. Once again, your faces were only inches apart. If you turned your heads to face each other, your lips would touch his. You could smell the hint of his cologne and shampoo. You could feel the air underneath blanket becoming warmer and warmer with his presence. You were no longer cold. At one point, you rested your head against Spencer’s arm since his shoulder was too high to reach.   
  
When the movie ended, there was roaring applause. You and Spencer sat up and joined in with the cheering. Spencer wrapped his arm around you as he tried to keep the blanket up around your shoulders. At least, that was his excuse for it. You helped Spencer pack up his things and loaded back into the car. The whole walk back to the car, you and he discussed your opinions about the movie. You both enjoyed the movie, and you were each describing your favorite aspects and scenes. You never had such a passionate conversation with Spencer before. Once everything was packed away, you hopped into the passenger seat, smoothing out your romper over your thighs, and Spencer climbed into the driver seat. You asked him about the movie for next month because you really wanted to do this again. Spencer readily agreed.   
  
At your apartment complex, Spencer told you he would walk you back up to your room to make sure you weren’t kidnapped by a serial ax killer. After climbing up the stairs, you made it to your room safe and sound. You stood outside the door to say your goodbyes to Spencer.  
  
“Thanks for a really great night,” you said, glancing down at the floor. Spencer was very close to you, and you couldn’t meet his gaze. It made you too nervous. By treating tonight like a date, you felt more butterflies than ever before.  
  
“No, thank you. I’m really glad you came with me. I enjoy being with you,” Spencer said breathlessly as he looked down at his feet, too.  
  
“Goodnight, Spence,” you whispered as you finally managed to meet his gaze. You sensed a longing in his eyes. There was a pause hanging in the air between the two of you.  
  
Before you could move to head inside, he gently cupped your face in his right hand as he pulled you close to him with his left hand on the small of your back. Slightly leaning down, his lips met yours. They were hesitant and shy at first as if they were asking if it was okay. After the initial shock, you placed a hand against his chest while the other reached for his face. You kissed him back eagerly. Once he felt you reciprocate, his kiss became more passionate and needy. It was like he couldn’t get enough of you. A surge of pleasure rushed through you from head to toe. You both came up for air only for second before you dove back in. His lips fit with yours like a missing puzzle piece. You ran your hand through his hair as he moved his hand up your back to pull you in even more. You were tingly and warm underneath your romper, and you felt the urge to pull him inside your room. After a one last deep kiss, he gently gave you two small kisses, and you both separated, but your foreheads remained touching. Both of you had your breath taken away. He slowly took his hands away from you and backed away. You didn’t even know what to say.  
  
“Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered as he turned away, walked down the stairs, and headed back out to the parking lot.  
  
You stood speechless in front of your apartment door.   
  
_Did that really just happen?_  
  



	16. Chapter 16

You fumbled with your keys as you tried to unlock your door since you were still in shock about what happened. Once you managed to get inside, you fell into your bed, letting the mattress and the sheets absorb you. Sprawled out, you stared up at the ceiling and went over the events that happened tonight. You also needed to figure out your feelings, but, right now, you were just a clusterfuck of emotions. You were happy and giddy, scared and nervous, and confused all at the same time.   
_  
I enjoyed the kiss. There's no uncertainty there. But what will come of it? What do I want to come from it? What does he want? Should we be more than friends? Is that a good idea? Well...all I know is that I want to do that again...and again...and again.  
  
_ You knew you weren't going to get to bed anytime soon. Your adrenaline was still rushing through you from the intensity and surprise of the kiss. It wasn't too late at night, so you decided to call the girls. Luckily, they were all able to pick up. Your task force was at full power.  
  
"Hey, guys, sorry to call this late, but I need some help," you relayed to the girls.  
  
"What's the matter, my little sweet pea?" Penelope asked.  
  
"Didn't you have your fake date tonight? How did it go?" Emily added on.  
  
"Yeah, that was tonight, and that's exactly what I'm calling about. He took me to the movie night out on the field, and we had a great time! The movie was fantastic, and we laid on the blanket together. I took your advice, and I tried to visualize it as a date," you explained.  
  
"So, you had a magical time? What's the issue?" JJ asked, confused.  
  
You hesitated for a moment before saying, "He kissed me."  
  
"OH MY GOD ARE YOU SERIOUS? HOW WAS IT? IS HE A GOOD KISSER? I NEED ALL THE DETAILS," Penelope screamed. You had to hold the phone away from you before your eardrum burst.   
  
"I'm not gonna lie...it was the most magical kiss ever. He dropped me off at my apartment, and then he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me. It was gentle at first, but then as I kissed him back, it got pretty passionate. I almost invited him in if he didn't walk away," you elaborated.   
  
"Wow! I didn't see that coming!" JJ exclaimed.  
  
"The boy has some game it sounds like. Did he say anything about the kiss?" Emily asked.  
  
"No, he just said goodnight and walked away. I was too shook to do or say anything back," you responded.   
  
"Sooooo, how do you feel, Y/N? Should I be picking out a bridesmaid dress this weekend?" Penelope excitedly pressed on.   
  
"I think it's a little soon for that," you laughed. "I'm not really sure how I feel. I definitely enjoyed the kiss...a lot, and I wouldn't mind it happening again. Do you guys think it would be a smart idea to go further with him? And what if he rethinks the kiss and decides it was a mistake? He's such a good friend, and I don't want to ruin what we have. I'm just scared of the unknown between us," you said as you started to feel a little doubtful.   
  
"I think you are trying to make decisions about the relationship based on assumptions and before even hearing what he has to say. I think you should talk to him this week about what happened and see what he says," Emily suggested.   
  
"He might say something that may show you what the right decision is," JJ commented.   
  
"I think you should just go for it! You guys would be super adorable together. He would make you happy. Plus, friends to lovers make the best relationships. Trust me, I read a lot of fanfiction," Penelope encouraged you.  
  
You sighed, "Monday is going to be so awkward."  
  
"Get some rest during the weekend, so you can be ready for Monday. It will all work out, I promise," JJ said in a soothing tone.   
  
"Thanks. I love you all. Sleep well," you said before you hung up the phone.   
  
You changed out of your romper into a pair of pajamas, wiped off your makeup, and brushed your teeth. Once you were done, you climbed back into bed under the covers. You checked your phone for any messages before you turned it off for the night. You debated about texting Spencer. You were going to thank him for a wonderful night or ask him about the kiss, but you decided against it. You clicked your phone off and set it on the nightstand before drifting off into a deep slumber.  
  
............................  
  
Spencer didn't text you all weekend, and you spent most of the weekend debating whether or not to message him or stop by his place to talk. You were dying to know what he was thinking.   
  
Finally, Monday rolled around, and you dragged yourself to class. You dreaded the awkward tension between you and Spencer. You just wanted things to be normal and not confusing anymore. Stupid feelings.   
  
When you walked through the classroom door, Spencer was nowhere to be seen. After checking the usual spot, you scanned the room to see if he moved to a new seat out of embarrassment of sitting next to you, but that wasn't the case. You were usually the late one, so you started to grow concerned. You made your way to your spot and waited for him. A few minutes later, you saw Spencer walk through the door holding two coffee cups. He walked up the stairs to the seat next to you and placed one of the cups down next to you.   
  
"Oh, is this for me?" you asked, even though you knew it was obviously for no one else.   
  
"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I got you an English Breakfast tea with some sugar. I hope that's alright," he said nervously.   
  
"Yes, that's good with me! I like tea," you said as you took a slow sip, careful not to burn yourself.   
  
He pulled out a pile of sugar packets from his pocket and set them on the table in front of him. He poured all of the sugar packets into his large coffee. You watched in amazement.  
  
"Um...want some coffee with that sugar?" you giggled.   
  
"What? I like a lot of sugar with my coffee," he stated.  
  
"That's an understatement," you playfully retorted.   
  
_It's like the kiss never even happened. I expected him to be more shy and bashful. I didn't dream that, right? I can't just ignore this. I need to talk to him.  
  
_ Professor Rothschild started his lecture. You didn't notice him walk in. Normally, he made himself known to the entire class before teaching. 

"Hello, everyone! Today I have a very special lecture! We will begin the unit on sexuality and sex. How exciting! I love this part of the semester because I love to watch you all squirm," the professor said with a mock evil laugh.   
  
_Uh oh.  
  
_ "Now, for this lesson, I will need two volunteers. Anyone?" he scanned the room to look for raised hands. No one raised their hands; instead, everyone tried not to make eye contact with him in hopes of not being chosen. No one knew what this crazy man what up to.   
  
"Hmmm, no volunteers? How sad. I guess I'll just have to pick...Let's see....Aha! How about you two lovebirds over there," he pointed over to you and Spencer. Your heart leaped out of your chest. You were like a deer in headlights as the rest of the class turned their heads to look at you.  
  
 _You've got to be kidding me._  
  
"I'm not taking no for an answer. Come on down to the front," Professor Rothschild eagerly said.   
  
You and Spencer avoided looking at each other as you stood up and walked down the stairs to the front of the classroom. You felt hot and anxious as you felt the eyes of your peers rest on you. You look over at Spencer who was just as embarrassed as you were.   
  
"Before we begin this unit, we must decide the basis for sexual chemistry. What makes us sexually attracted to certain people and not others? Let's do a little experiment. Now, you two, face each other," Professor Rothschild explained. You and Spencer complied with the directions.  
  
For the first time today, you made real eye contact with each other, and the memories of the kiss flooded your mind. You hoped that the sexual tension you were feeling between you and Spencer wasn't obvious because you knew the professor would go crazy with that. All you could think about was grabbing him and pulling him in for another kiss even if it was in front of the whole class. You hoped you weren't staring at his lips for too long. Oops.   
  
"So, Y/N, what do you find attractive about him?"  
  
 _He didn't just ask me that, right?  
  
_ "Wait, what?" you stammered.  
  
"What are some things you find attractive about him?"   
  
You could see Spencer looking at you expectantly. He was curious about your answer.   
  
"Well, um, I think his intelligence is very attractive. He seems to know something about everything. Um...I can't lie. I think he's good-looking. He's tall, has nice hair, and dresses well, you know? And...I think he's very kind. He seems to care a lot for the people closest to him. I always feel safe around him," you answered. You had to look down at the floor a few times to hide the embarrassment on your face.   
  
_Oh, god, that was so awkward._  
  
"Well done, well done. Alright, Spencer! Your turn," Professor Rothschild said with a big grin.  
  
"Y/N is very beautiful. For instance, her face is very soft and pleasing to the eye. She's also very witty which is a sign of a good sense of humor as well as an above-average IQ. Moreover, she's very sociable. She is good in social settings which explains why she has so many friends and why she is such a great friend. She has a very loveable and welcoming personality," Spencer said.   
  
_Wow...is that really how he feels about me? He really does care for me...  
  
_ You could feel the electricity between the two of you grow stronger.  
  
"Wonderful! You both touched on some key components of attractiveness that can be traced back to our ancestors way back in the day! We will go over that later in the lecture. Now, it is time for part two of the experiment!" he exclaimed.   
  
_Uh...part two?!  
  
_ "Now, you two stay in the positions you are in and don't move. The other part of today's lecture is going to be about signs of attraction. We must understand the physical responses before we understand the why and the moral questions behind them. So, the rest of the class will point out indicators of attraction between the two of you. Who wants to go first?"   
  
_Excuse me??? I have to be dreaming. This can't be happening.  
  
_ One of the guys in the front row raised his hand and said, "They are standing closer together."  
  
You noticed the gap between you and Spencer had gotten smaller since the start of the experiment. He was right. Spencer's nice compliments had pulled you in. Literally.  
  
A girl toward the back of the room in a red hoodie called out, "They were both nervous when they were complimenting each other. I think they were even blushing."  
  
 _Can you shut the fuck up!!!  
  
_ Another girl raised her hand and commented, "When they compliment each other, the smiles are genuine. You can tell by the wrinkles on the sides of their eyes."  
  
A boy in the second row added on, "Yeah, and I noticed that their compliments are more than superficial. Like, I would have said she had a hot body, but he talked about her personality and stuff. That's pretty deep, man."   
  
_Can I die now?  
  
  
_ "These are all fantastic answers! You guys are going to do so well with this unit! You two can go back to your seats now. Thank you for enduring the embarrassment," Professor Rothschild concluded the experiment.   
  
The two of you walked back to your seats. You definitely could feel the awkward tension between you now. Luckily, you were able to take your mind off the horror that you just went through and focused on the lecture by taking notes. At the end of class, you directed your attention back to Spencer.  
  
"Hey, I think we need to talk about what happened Friday night. Do you wanna grab lunch with me tomorrow?" you asked.  
  
"Oh, yeah...that," he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Sure, I'll see you then."  
  
  



	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't leave you guys hanging...

You met up with Spencer on Tuesday for lunch at one of the restaurants on campus. After picking up your food at the counter, you brought it over to the table where Spencer was sitting. He was intently reading a newspaper while waiting for you. He put the paper away after you sat down and folded his hands on the table.   
  
"Do you want to eat somewhere where we can be alone?" Spencer said as he pointed out the crowdedness of the restaurant.  
  
"Sure, where are we going?" you asked as you picked up your food bag.  
  
"Just follow me, okay?" he said as he stood up and headed toward the door.   
  
You followed his lead, and he took you on a short walk to the gardens on campus. You were awestruck by the variety of shapes and colors of all the plants and flowers. A sweet scent flowed gently through the air wherever you walked. Spencer took you to one of the picnic benches near a sea of purple and pink flowers. You sat across from him.  
  
"How is your day so far?" you asked, trying to ease into the conversation.   
  
"It's been okay, I guess. Truthfully, I'm a little nervous about having lunch with you today...for obvious reasons," Spencer admitted.  
  
You were glad he could be honest with you because now you felt less pressure to put up a mask of confidence. You felt like if you could show him honesty in return, he would open up more about his feelings toward you.   
  
"Don't worry, Spence. I'm just as nervous as you are. So...I guess I'll just start by saying that I enjoyed Friday night, and I enjoyed our kiss," you stated proudly. You were glad everything was finally out in the open, even if Spencer doesn't return the sentiment.   
  
Spencer's eyes widened, and he cleared his throat. You took him aback. He didn't expect you to be so honest.  
  
"Yeah, I, um, enjoyed the kiss as well. I'm glad it wasn't just me," he said with a nervous huff of laughter.   
  
"So, you don't regret it?" you asked.  
  
"No, of course not," he said with his head cocked to the side.  
  
"That's a relief. I thought maybe you didn't text me because you were afraid to tell me it was a big mistake."  
  
"I didn't message you because I was afraid you didn't like my advance on you, and you didn't want to see me again," he said.  
  
"No, no, you're my friend, Spencer. I wouldn't do you dirty like that," you reassured him.   
  
There was a moment of silence after that. You decided to ask your most pressing question before you lost the courage.  
  
"So, what made you kiss me?" you asked. You locked eyes with him and your stomach filled with butterflies.   
  
He licked his lips and gave you a small smile. "It was the perfect night, and it felt right to end it in the perfect way. I normally rely on logic and statistics and science to guide my actions, but that night... I just followed my emotions. My feelings told me to kiss you, and so I did. What made you decide to kiss me back?"  
  
"Because I think I have feelings for you, Spence. I spent that whole night trying to figure out if I liked you more than a friend, and when you kissed me, I knew for sure that I wanted to be more with you. I guess now all I'm worried about is whether I should act on those feelings and if you reciprocate them. I don't want to lose our friendship, but I don't want to just ignore what my heart says and lose out on a possibility with you," you confessed.  
  
Spencer reached out and tenderly pulled your hands into his. His rigid, strong hands consumed yours in an atmosphere of warmth. You felt tingles run up your arms and into your chest. His thumb caressed the side of your hand, soothing you. Usually, he was the one startled by your touch. Now, the tables have turned.   
  
"I have feelings for you, too! I was just too nervous to say anything. I didn't expect a girl like you to like me, you know? My feelings sort of overspilled Friday night, and I kissed you. I'm just so happy right now that you feel the same way. Morgan was right. He told me that it would work out if I made my feelings clear for you. I can't believe it," Spencer said with a huge grin that went from ear to ear. His nose scrunched.   
  
"Where do we go from here?" you hate having to ask such a serious question during a romantic moment.  
  
"I'm not sure. I didn't think I would get this far," he laughed. He couldn't stop smiling.  
  
"I really like you, and I don't wanna rush this. I think we need to make sure this boat can float before we set sail, you know what I mean?"   
  
"Uh, no, you lost me there," he replied.  
  
"I think we should try going out on a real date, and see how our relationship blooms from there. I wanna savor our time together. Plus, I don't want to get too far and hurt our friendship if we end up not working out. I really want us to work because you make me really happy, and I want to make you happy," you clarified.   
  
"You already do," Spencer gushed.   
  
You got up from your seat and sat down next to Spencer. He turned to face you, and you placed both your hands on his face. You both leaned toward each other slowly until your lips met once again. He placed his hands on your waist as he returned the kiss generously. You were so happy that you got to kiss him again and that you'll have the chance to kiss him again and again.   
  
After you were satisfied, you broke your lips away from his and with a smile you said, "Let's eat some lunch!"   
  
  
  



	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are getting a lil saucy...

You were running out to restock with groceries when it struck you: the perfect first date idea. A few stores down from the grocery store in the shopping plaza, one of the abandoned buildings were converted into a Spirit Halloween. Halloween was both yours and Spencer's favorite holiday. Your motto for Halloween was to go big or go home. You quickly dialed Spencer's number.  
  
"Hey! Are you free tomorrow?" you asked immediately, not giving Spencer a chance to even say hello. You were too excited.   
  
"Uh, yeah, let me check," Spencer said. You could hear him walk over to his desk and flip through his calendar. "Yes, I'm free. What's going on?"  
  
"Perfect! Do you want to go out on a real date with me?" you eagerly asked. 

"Yeah, that sounds really great. What are we doing?"  
  
"One word: Halloween. I'll pick you up tomorrow at 2. See ya!" you replied and quickly hung up the phone before he could pry any more answers out of you.  
  
.......................  
  
You decided to get into the Halloween spirit by dressing for the occasion. You wore a loose t-shirt with a skeleton on the front with a pair of blue jean shorts and black vans. You also put in sparkly pumpkin hairclips. After you felt spooky enough, you grabbed your keys and headed out to the car.   
  
When you picked Spencer up, he was also wearing a Halloween shirt. He complimented you on your attire, and you leaned over and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek as a thank you. When you pulled away, you could see his face was flushed as he tried to hide it by looking out the window. 

It was a quick ride over to the grocery store, but you still put on your Halloween playlist. You were able to get through Thriller and Monster Mash before you reached the store.

Spencer could spot the Halloween store as soon as you pulled into the parking lot. He gave you a big smile once he realized what was happening.   
  
"Are we going Halloween decoration shopping?" he asked with enthusiasm.   
  
"Yep, you guessed it! I really want to decorate my apartment. Maybe we can find some costume ideas, too. I think Emily and JJ are having a Halloween bash at their place if you wanna be my date?"  
  
"I would really enjoy that."  
  
...............................  
  
As you walked across the parking lot to reach the store, Spencer gently intertwined his hand with yours. You looked up at him.  
  
"For safety," he said.   
  
Inside the store, he let go of your hand, but you looked up at him and said, "I think I need protection in here, too. I'm _very_ scared."  
  
He gave you a small laugh and laced his fingers back with yours again. You grabbed a shopping basket with your other hand and started your walk around the perimeter of the store. You liked to look at everything.   
  
After perusing the store for a few minutes, you started filling your basket with decorations. You and Spencer picked out string lights in the shape of ghosts and black cats, a set of pumpkins, packs of fake cobwebs, a Halloween bed set, a neon bat-shaped light, and a witch to hang on the door.   
  
"Do you want some decorations for your apartment?" you inquired.   
  
"No, no. I already have decorations from last year. I kind of went overboard last year, so I promised myself I wouldn't spend any more money this year on decorations. I have plenty at my place. Do you want to go look at the costumes?" he suggested.   
  
"Sure! Let's go!" you said as you pulled him by the hand toward the costume section.  
  
You let go of his hand, and you both separated to look through the vast array of options. You were focused on looking through the rack, and Spencer took that opportunity to scare you. He put on a scary werewolf mask and grabbed a werewolf paw covered in fake blood. He crept up behind you, lightly placing the paw on your shoulder. You looked down to see the paw, and you quickly turned around. Spencer let out a "BOO!" and you let out a light yelp while you flinched. Once you realized it was Spencer and the startled feeling washed away, you chuckled and pushed Spencer away playfully.  
  
"You got me good! I'm guessing you're Team Jacob?" you said, referencing the werewolf mask.  
  
"Who's Jacob?" Spencer asked as he took off the mask.  
  
"Jacob from Twilight!" you said, but you could tell he was still confused. "The werewolf from the series about the vampire and the girl falling in love? Does that not ring any bells?"  
  
"Nope," he shrugged.   
  
"Wow, I finally found a book that _the_ Spencer Reid has not read?" you said as you acted shocked. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his around your waist.  
  
"Is it any good?" he asked. He was genuinely curious.   
  
"Everyone hates on it, but I actually enjoyed the series! I'm a Team Edward kind of girl," you responded with a laugh.  
  
"Hmm, I'll read it tonight," Spencer said.  
  
"Well, there are four books, so it might take you a while."  
  
"Actually, I can read 20,000 words per minute," he stated proudly.   
  
"Holy shit, what? That's incredible! No wonder your bookshelf is stuffed with books!" you said, in real shock this time.   
  
"Yeah...it will be nice to get some new reading material. Anyway, do you want to keep looking for costumes?"  
  
"Yeah, in a sec," you said as you pulled him near and kissed him softly on the lips. "Okay, now, we can finish shopping."  
  
After searching high and low for a couple's set for the next 30 minutes, Spencer finally found the perfect one.  
  
"Hey, Y/N! I found the perfect costume!" Spencer yelled energetically.   
  
You peered up from sifting through some costumes and walked over a few racks down to find Spencer holding up a couple's costume. You gasped in pleasant surprise.  
  
"Oh. My. God. IT'S PERFECT!" you giggled excitedly. You started bouncing up and down in approval.   
  
You and Spencer headed to check out, paid for the items, and stuffed them in the trunk of your car. Once again, you turned on your Halloween playlist for the ride back to your place. Spencer offered to help you set up the decorations, and you happily took him up on it.  
  
.................  
  
You and Spencer strung the ghost lights over your bed frame while the black cat lights hung in the living room. The fake cobwebs were scattered around the apartment. The bat light glowed brightly on your nightstand, and the pumpkins were arranged neatly on the kitchen counter. As Spencer hung the witch decoration on your apartment door outside, you stripped the sheets and comforter on your bed to replace it with the Halloween bed set. The sheets were purple, and the comforter was dark purple with white cartoon ghosts and spiderwebs. The pillowcases were solid orange and black to match the comforter. That was the final piece to tie the whole place together. You switched off the light, so the bat light and the ghost lights were the only things illuminating the room. When Spencer came back in, you pulled him into the bed with you. The two of your were laying face to face on your sides.   
  
"I had a fun day today. Thanks for helping me decorate," you whispered.   
  
"I think it was a successful first date. Do you want to go on another one with me?" he whispered back.  
  
"Of course," you smiled at him as you caressed his face.  
  
"I can't wait to be seen with you as a couple at the party," he whispered. He kissed you on the cheek before moving to your lips. You kissed for a few moments before you decided to let your walls down for good.   
  
You pushed Spencer onto his back and straddled him. You took him by surprise. You leaned forward to resume kissing him again with your hands on either side of his face. He moved his hands from your waist up your back underneath your shirt. You slowly pushed your tongue against his lips, and he parted them slightly to give you access. You slipped your tongue in to meet his. They danced around each other hesitantly, sending nervous energy and excitement through you. You parted ways from his lips and made your way to his neck and collarbone. He let out a soft murmur of approval.  
  
"That's my weakness," he whispered breathlessly.  
  
You focused on his neck for the next few moments before pausing to take off your shirt. You threw in on the ground next to the bed. Spencer ran his hands up your sides, soaking in your beauty.  
  
"You're the most beautiful girl in the world," he said in awe as he traced the lace edges of your bra. His fingertips were warm as they grazed your skin.   
  
You kissed him once again, and he unclipped your bra, casting it aside on the floor to join your shirt. He flipped you onto your back and loomed over you. You pulled at the bottom of his shirt, motioning him to take it off. He complied, and you ran your hands across his smooth chest down to his abdomen and back up again. He cupped one of your breasts in his hand and placed his lips around the nipple, using his tongue to swirl around it. You held back a moan. After flicking and swirling with his tongue, he gently pulled it between his teeth. You couldn’t hold back this moan, and he gave you a lustful look in return, pleased that he was making you squirm. He toyed with your breast and nipple with his fingers, the ridges of the small callouses on his hands adding pleasurable friction, as he transitioned to the next breast. He played with that one, too, as he alternated pressures and pushing and pulling motions with his mouth and tongue. You were starting to become slightly out of breath. You wrapped your legs around him and involuntarily arched your back in delight. You ran your hands through his hair, encouraging him to keep going. Once he was satisfied with his work- aka a collection of faint hickeys scattered across your chest- he moved his hands toward your waist, about to take of your shorts. As much as you desperately wanted him to rip them off and go to town, you knew you had to keep the promise to yourself that you would go slow with him in order to savor the relationship and protect your friendship. Plus, you liked the anticipation. It would only make next time more interesting, and, in the meantime, you’ll be dying to get your hands on him again.  
  
“Mhmm, Spencer, this is wonderful, and I really don’t want this to end, but I don’t want to go any further tonight. Is that okay?” you asked him, out of breath.  
  
“Yeah, of course, that’s okay, Y/N. I was going to say the same thing, actually. I want to take my time exploring your body. I’m just so lucky I got to see this much beauty so far,” he said as he kissed the hickeys softly on your chest.  
  
He repositioned himself on the other side of the bed, and you crawled over to him. He wrapped his arm around you, and you laid your head on his chest. He stroked your hair and your bare back.

“Thanks…You’re the best, Spence,” you whispered against him.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been a while since the last update. I moved over the weekend, so I was busy with that. Now, I'm back to updating regularly. Thanks! 
> 
> Sorry this is such a short chapter. I just wanted to get some content out since it's been while. Thanks!

"Hey, don't forget to pick me up at six on Saturday for Emily and JJ's party," you reminded Spencer in the minutes before class started.   
  
"Right, I'll be there. I'm looking forward to it," he flashed a smile at you as he said it. 

"Great! Thanks," you returned the friendly glance.   
  
Since your first date, you expected things to be a little awkward between the two of you. The first day back to class was slightly weird, mainly because you kept thinking about how Spencer saw your titties and the memories of the satisfying feeling of him massaging them with his mouth kept running through your mind. It was also very obvious he was trying not to look at them. You thought it was cute he was trying to be super respectful. But, now it was the following Wednesday, and you were both back into the normal swing of things. Things were the same between the two of you, but, now, you were able to give him little squeezes on the thigh during class every now and then, hold his hand around campus, and sneak in a kiss during study days. Your favorite thing, however, was the hugs he gave you after he walked you to your car. He would wrap his slender arms around you, pull you in close, and give you a kiss on the top of the forehead. You would rest your head against the top of his chest, soaking up his scent and warmth. You were convinced that his hugs were magical. He would hold you for at least ten seconds, and once you pulled away, he reluctantly let go of you. You loved how he couldn't get enough of you because you couldn't get enough of him.   
  
Luckily, the professor didn't call you or Spencer up as volunteers during this lecture. He chose two other poor souls for his lecture on the attitudes toward sex. He asked two of your fellow classmates to publicly announce to the class their views on sex. You felt lucky that you and Spencer were chosen for the first activity because that one seems tame in comparison to this lecture. You saw Spencer's eyes widen and blush during this lecture multiple times, causing you to hold back some giggles. He was too precious for his own good.   
  
Once class ended, you stood up, and Spencer slipped his hand into yours. You walked out of the class with him and walked him to his next class. He was gushing the whole away about an article he read on dark matter. It was complex information, but you could tell he was very excited by it, so you tried to follow along and understand as much as possible. You asked him further questions, and he seemed thrilled to answer them.  
  
"Usually, no one lets me finish, yet you listened the whole time and even asked questions. Thank you for being a good listener," he said as he stopped in front of the classroom door and turned to face you.  
  
"Of course! I love listening to your stories and info rants. I'm genuinely interested in what you have to say. You know a lot of stuff, and I'm learning so much from you," you responded. You grabbed his face and planted a soft kiss on his lips. "Good luck in class, dork."  
  
.......................................  
  
  
On Saturday night, Spencer picked you up in his car and passed you the aux to play your Halloween playlist. A few tracks from the Nightmare Before Christmas blared in the car as you two sang along with it.

Emily was the one to open the door, and you could see inside that the party was already roaring. Music was pounding while multicolored lights danced around the room. Emily welcomed you inside, so you got a better look at the place. Halloween decorations were scattered around the room. In the kitchen, there was an assortment of drinks and snacks. There were about 20 or so people inside the apartment, mostly friends of JJ and Emily. You recognized only a few of them from around campus.  
  
Emily was dressed as Hugh Hefner. She wore black shorts with a black lacy bralette. On top, she wore a dark red robe that was loosely tied in the front. She even had a fake pipe and a sailor hat to tie the look together. JJ, of course, was a Playboy bunny model. She wore a black one-piece with fishnets and bunny ears. Derek was dressed as a sexy firefighter, only wearing a firemen hat, suspenders, pants, and workboots. No one was complaining that he wasn't wearing a shirt. He was built like Hercules.   
  
In the back, you could see Penelope wearing a Doctor Who Costume. She was dressed as a female version of the Eleventh Doctor, Matt Smith. She wore a bow tie with a brown jacket. On top of her head, she wore a red fez in tribute to him. She was excitedly talking with another guest dressed as a Dalek.   
  
"So glad you guys could make it! Your costumes are very geeky but perfect for the two of you," Emily greeted you.   
  
At the store, Spencer picked out a matching Star Trek costume. Being the science geek he was, Spencer wore a blue Star Trek Uniform in hopes to resemble Spock. Spencer made the joke that you wore the pants in the relationship, so you should be Kirk. You wore the gold Star Trek Uniform. Fake phasers were attached to your belts.   
  
Derek noticed the two of you and walked over, placing his arm around Spencer. He rubbed Spencer's hair with his hand and greeted him. Derek gave you a hug and a quick kiss on the cheek.  
  
"You guys are perfect for each other. I mean, look at you guys!" Derek yelled over the music.  
  
"Thanks!" Spencer yelled back.  
  
"Let's get this party started," Emily said with a smirk on her face.  
  
  



	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get saucy part 2 !!

You and Spencer went straight for the food and drinks on the counter. You sampled each of the themed desserts and snacks. Your favorite was the gummy eyeballs while Spencer enjoyed the sugar cookies with a pumpkin design on them. Once you were done stuffing your face with the delicious food, you and Spencer grabbed beverages from the counter and mingled with some of the people you didn't recognize. Some of them were JJ's coworkers or friends from college. JJ worked for a communications and media company. Other people you recognized from campus were Emily's friends or graduate lab staffers. Everyone was very nice, and you received lots of compliments on your costume set. 

Once you made your way around the room and shared some laughs, you asked Spencer to dance with you after eyeing Emily and JJ dancing together. A lot of the other guests noticed the change in the atmosphere too and joined the party hosts on the "dance floor" (aka the living room floor). Spencer couldn't say no to you, so he went along with it. Your inner circle of friends- Emily, JJ, Derek, Penelope, Spencer- all joined together in a dance huddle and jumped up and down to the beat of the music. A smile never left any of your faces. Each one of you hyped each other up. Everything seemed to go in slow motion- the disco lights, the beat of the music, your friends jumping up and down. You savored this moment.   
  
Toward the end of the night, the party started to die down, but no one was ready to leave yet. Going home on Halloween before 3 am? Couldn't be you. Never. The party hosts could sense the tired feeling of the crowd, so JJ recommended everyone squeeze together in the living room to watch a scary movie. Everyone readily agreed and started playfully arguing over which movie to watch. 

Emily and JJ pulled out extra chairs, an air mattress, and an assortment of blankets and pillows for the group. Everyone gathered around the TV and waited eagerly for the movie. The seats of the couch were readily taken, but you and Spencer were able to grab a spot on the fluffy mattress pad in front of the couch. Spencer sat with his back against the couch and motioned you to sit in between his spread legs. You complied, leaning your back up against his chest. He pulled the blanket wrapped around him forward so he encased you in a warm embrace of his arms and the blanket. His arms wrapped around in front of you, and you felt safe. You felt like nothing bad could ever happen to you.   
  
You reached up and whispered in his ear, "I thought you would be the one spreading _my legs_ apart." You knew that would get to him. It was almost too easy. 

Without hesitation, he whispered back in your ear, "That can still happen tonight." 

You felt goosebumps run up and down your body. You had to respond fast. On the one hand, you liked how comfortable Spencer got with you, but you also missed making him embarrassed. You couldn't show him any sign of weakness. This was a fight for domination, and you wanted to be in control.

"I guess I'll meet you in the bathroom later. Just wait for my cue," you smirked. You really thought you got him wrapped around your finger now. You could the hitch in his breath, but he quickly recovered. He wasn't going to give up that easily. Spencer was shy, but he was stubborn.

"See you then," he whispered back breathlessly. You could feel his lips graze past your ear.   
  
The noise from the rest of the crowd chattering died down at that moment as Emily announced the movie.   
  
"Tonight, we will be watching....Alien!"   
  
There was a roar of approval from the crowd, including yourself and Spencer. You never grew tired of watching that movie, and even though you've seen it a million times, you heart still pounded at the jump scares and you cheered for Ripley's escape.   
  
Spencer announced to the group, "Hey, did you guys know that when the alien bursts out of Hurt's torso, the cast was genuinely shocked? The cast didn't know it was coming, and they were surprised at how gory it was. The scene was inspired by Dan O'Bannon and his experiences with Crohn's disease."   
  
_Ah, there's the Spencer I know._  
  
There was a murmur of surprise and fascination from Spencer's comment from the crowd. People were now even more eager to watch the film, now knowing this information. As Emily popped in the movie, you kissed Spencer on the cheek.  
  
"My smart cookie," you said to him as you pulled away.   
  
......................  
  
Throughout the movie, you cuddled against Spencer. Every now and then, he would sneak a few kisses on your cheek or your neck, distracting you from the movie. About halfway through, he started moving one of his hands down toward your thighs. He gripped your inner thigh, giving it a long squeeze. He was lanky, but his hands were strong and firm. He moved his hand up and down your thigh, getting closer and closer to your sweet spot. The anticipation was killing you.   
  
_Thank god for this blanket.  
  
_ Then, he decided to tease you some more. Right before he was about to reach your underwear, he stopped and moved up to your chest, leaving you wanting more. Sliding his hand up your shirt and bra, he softly played with your nipple, tugging it and twisting it gently. You had to hold back from moaning. The movie just got to the part of Ripley's escape, so everyone was captivated. You knew this was the perfect moment.   
  
You whispered in his ear, "I'm going to the bathroom...if you wanna join me."  
  
He slid his hand out of your shirt, and you stood up to walk toward the bathroom. You closed the door behind you, waiting for Spencer to follow you. A few moments later, he slid into the bathroom, quietly shutting the door behind him. Without giving you a chance to speak, he picked you up and set you on the counter. He took you by surprise.  
  
He grabbed your face and kissed you. You kissed him back eagerly as he wrapped his arms around your waist, drawing you nearer. Normally, making out with Spencer was tender and romantic, but this time it was needy and aggressive. You weren't complaining though because you were just as desperate to kiss him. Soon enough, you were both panting. Spencer quickly took his shirt off, and you followed his lead. He didn't waste any time unclipping your bra, throwing it to the side, and placing his lips against them. It felt so good, your legs started spreading apart involuntarily. You were ready for him to take you over, but you didn't want to give in just yet. He tried ripping off your skirt, but you stopped him.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean to- I mean if you aren't ready yet-" he stammered innocently.

You pushed him back, hopped off the counter, and got on your knees. You pulled down his pants and boxers, putting his dick in your mouth and moving your mouth up and down the shaft.   
  
"Oh-oh-ohh shit," Spencer moaned as he realized that you weren't trying to stop him, but you were trying to please him.   
  
You formed a suction with your lips, and you could hear him let out a small gasp. You loved to drive him wild, so you made eye contact with him as you swirled your tongue around the tip. You could see him tilt his head back and close his eyes. As you pumped your mouth up and down, you used your hands to play with his balls.  
  
"Shit. Fuck, I'm gonna-" he started to say, but you didn't want him to finish just yet. You decided when he would finish.   
  
You moved your mouth to his balls, licking and sucking on them to give him a chance to recover for a second but to still feel the pleasure. After a few moments of focusing there, you moved back.   
  
"I guess I'll let you finish now," you said smugly as your lips moved back to the shaft.   
  
After taking all of him in your mouth and sucking on him, he finally came. You gave him some toilet paper to clean up, and he was out of breath.  
  
"That....that was incredible," he managed to get out.   
  
That was when there was a knock on the door, and you stammered out, "Just-just a minute!"   
  
_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKKKKK._  
  
You and Spencer rushed to get your clothes back on and opened the door to find Emily standing there with her arms crossed and a huge grin on her face. 


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is a short chapter, but I plan on updating a chapter on Saturday and a chapter on Sunday! Three chapters in one weekend? Crazy, right?

"Oh-Emily! Hi," you stuttered out. 

"Whatcha guys doin' in there?" Emily asked while looking at the two of you up and down.  
  
"Oh, you know...my period," you panicked to come up with an explanation. "Spencer was bringing me...you know...girl stuff."  
  
"I see...I thought I heard moaning in there," Emily asked suspiciously, even though you were pretty sure she already knew what was going on.  
  
"Really bad cramps," Spencer chimed in. "I should probably get her home."   
  
"Uh-huh. Well, I'm glad you guys could _come_ , and I hope you feel better, Y/N," Emily hinted with a smirk.   
  
"Thanks for having us. Have a good night!" you quickly said as you and Spencer hurried out of the bathroom and out the front door.   
  
Once you got outside, you and Spencer looked at each other and burst out laughing. He put his arm around you as you walked back to the car, still trying to catch your breath from laughing so hard. You titled your head toward his chest, hearing him chuckle.   
  
After you both assumed your positions in the car, he placed his hand on your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze. You looked up at him, and he used his other hand to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. You leaned in and kissed him on the cheek softly.   
  
"You missed," he whispered with a smile.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Let me try again," you teased back.  
  
You moved your lips to his, and he readily responded. Frank Sinatra's version of "Somethin' Stupid" was playing quietly on the radio in the background. The two of you exchanged tender, slow, deep kisses. Your hands against his face and your lips moved in harmony with his movements.   
  
He broke away and gazed into your eyes. He looked down for a brief moment.  
  
"I've really enjoyed being with you, Y/N, and I know this might be too soon to ask...." he trailed off.  
  
"Yes?" you encouraged him.  
  
_Is he about to ask me to be his girlfriend?_  
  
"Maeve invited me to her wedding in January, and I know that's still far away, and I don't mean to make assumptions....anyway...would you be my date?"   
  
"Yes," you whispered back, speechless at his bold move. You felt your cheeks grow hot, and your heart skipped several beats. Your stomach swirled in a storm of butterflies as you saw how excited he got at your answer. He gave you a quick kiss on the lips before flipping the car into reverse and driving you home.   
  
_Even though that wasn't the question I was expecting, it is a step in the right direction. He's making plans with me months into the future, so, obviously, he thinks we are going to be together by then. Besides, I'm happy where we are right now, and I know he isn't going anywhere.  
  
_..........................  
  
"Hey, Y/N!!" Penelope called out to you as you made your way over to the table from picking up your frappe from the counter.   
  
"Hi!" you returned the greeting.   
  
"Are you feeling better, Y/N?" Emily asked as she took a sip of her coffee.  
  
You almost choked on your drink. "Um, yes, much better."   
  
"Don't let Emily push your buttons too much. Emily and I did it once in the back of a friend's car," JJ reassured you.  
  
"JJ," Emily pushed JJ on the shoulder playfully.   
  
"Oh my god!" Penelope gushed in disbelief.   
  
"Okay, I felt bad about messing around in the bathroom, but, now, that I know about _you,_ I have no regrets," you laughed as you pointed at Emily.   
  
"It's all good. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do," Emily conceded.   
  
"My pumpkins, I have exciting news I'm dying to share!! Derek knows a guy who knows a guy who knows this guy's brother, and he said that his uncle's brother-in-law can get us all in for free to the fall carnival next weekend! It can be like a triple date!!" Penelope squealed eagerly.   
  
"I've been craving funnel cake," JJ admitted.  
  
"And we can all ride the Ferris wheel! It's gonna look so cool lit up at night," you commented.   
  
"I'm gonna win you all the stuffed animals and show those carnies who's boss at those games," Emily said as she pulled JJ closed and pecked her on the forehead.   
  
"I'll text Spencer right now and see if he can come," you said as you whipped out your phone. The other girls continued to chat about the upcoming date.  
  
**Hey! Derek says he can get all of us into the carnival for free this weekend. You in?  
  
**Spencer responded a few seconds later, "As long as I get a kiss on top of the Ferris Wheel"  
  
**Don't threaten me with a good time ;)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things get saucy...AGAIN!

You didn't have a quiz for philosophy, but you and Spencer needed to catch up on assignments from other classes. So, the two of you met up in your usual hideaway in the library. Spencer had arrived ahead of you, and when you walked through the study room door, you gasped in surprise. Spencer had moved the table and chairs toward the back of the room to clear the floor space for the picnic. He had a giant soft blanket sprawled across the middle of the floor and a bag packed with snacks and drinks. There were a few pillows scattered around as well. Spencer was standing next to the table, tending to the bouquet of flowers he was holding.   
  
"Spencer...this is beautiful!" you said in awe. 

Spencer gave you a shy smile as he approached you with the flowers. They were a mix of pink and purple hydrangeas in full bloom. They smelled amazing. The aroma danced across the whole room. 

"These hydrangeas are for you. The flowers have meaning behind them. In Japan, hydrangeas represent apology while in Europe they represent vanity and bragging. Other cultures see them as a message that one is coldhearted," Spencer rambled. He liked to do that when he was nervous. 

"Oh...?" you asked. You were confused.

"Oh, no, I don't think you're any of these things! Sorry, I just thought the diversity of meanings behind the flowers were interesting, and I got carried away. Anyway, nowadays, hydrangeas have a different meaning. The pink hydrangeas reflect my sincere heartfelt admiration for you, and the purple ones reflect deep understanding between two individuals. I've been so grateful to find someone who truly understands me and appreciates me for who I am. Thank you, Y/N," he confessed as he offered for you to take the flowers.   
  
You took the flowers and immediately set the back down on the table. You crashed into his arms in a hug, and you could feel your eyes tearing up a little bit. He hugged you back tenderly, stroking your hair. In this moment, you could feel your heart swell with love and affection, and you just had to release it.   
  
After you let him go from your tight embrace, you wiped the tears away and said, "This is one of the nicest things someone has done for me, and I love the meaning behind the flowers. I love how much thought and effort you put into this. You are one of the best people in my life, and I don't know what I would do without you."   
  
He placed his fingers under your chin and tilted your head up. "Will you be my girlfriend?"   
  
Your heart was pounding loudly in your chest, and you could feel your hands tremble slightly. "I would love to be."   
  
He pulled your chin up to meet his lips in a delicate kiss.   
  
.............................................  
  
After your exchange, you hit the books. You slipped off your shoes and laid out on the blanket on your abdomen with your notebooks and textbooks. Spencer laid on his back by your side reading a book for another class. You worked diligently on your assignments for a couple of hours before growing tired of it. You looked over at Spencer, noticing how cute he was as his finger glided quickly over the page and his face scrunched in concentration. You couldn't resist giving him a kiss, so you scooched closer to him. Spencer put down his book as you leaned over him and kissed him. The innocent kisses soon escalated into a passionate making out session. Lucky for you, Spencer remembered to lock the door and close the blinds. No one could see you or hear you. It wasn't like anyone was coming up here anyway. 

To get at a better angle, you climbed on top of him and straddled him, returning back to his lips instantly. He grabbed your hips forcefully, reminding you of his underlying dominant side. He slid your blouse over your head, casting it aside. Without skipping a beat, he unclipped your bra and threw it to the side to join your shirt. His hands moved from your sides and up to your chest where he fondled with your breasts. He flicked his thumbs over your nipples, providing just enough stimulation to turn you on, but not enough, making your body beg for more. You slid off of your straddling position and laid on your back. Spencer followed your lead, took off his shirt, and loomed over you. He pinned your arms to the side as he continued to kiss you. He kissed your neck and used his tongue to trace the side of your neck up and down. You let out a soft gasp of pleasure, and your legs instinctively opened. He read your body language loud and clear, letting out a soft chuckle. He was obviously pleased with his work. He ran his hands underneath your skirt and wrapped his fingers around the sides of your lace panties. He pulled them down fervently and flipped up your skirt to grip your thighs and pull them apart.   
  
You complied immediately and stroked his hair as an encouragement to keep going. Your body desperately wanted him to touch you, and every millisecond Spencer waited was too long. Finally, he kneeled down closer and placed gentle kisses up your thigh. Then, he was just about to put his mouth between your thighs but paused to look over at you. He grinned. He was having fun teasing you because he could tell how much you wanted it.   
  
"Please, Spencer," you moaned. Finally, he gave in to your pleas.   
  
He used his tongue to trace a circle around your opening before licking upward. When he reached your clit, he started flicking his tongue. After a few repetitions, he switched to a sucking motion, and then resumed back to flicking. He was hitting just the right spot, and the rhythm and pressure were driving you wild. You arched your back as you moaned in approval, causing him to grab ahold of your hips.   
  
It had only been a few minutes but you felt like you were already building toward an orgasm. He sensed this and breathlessly whispered, "Not yet."  
  
"Oh, god, faster, please. Fuck," you pleaded. He followed your orders, and you could feel your thighs go limp. Your body weakened as you almost finished. You were right there when Spencer suddenly stopped.   
  
"No, no, no," you whimpered.   
  
Spencer smirked again as he reminded you, "Not yet."   
  
This time, you weren't going to let him win. You wanted him at your mercy, not the other way around. You pushed him onto his back, pulled off his pants and boxers, and straddled him. He moaned in response. You leaned forward and placed your arms on either side of his head as you bounced up and down on him. He grabbed your ass to help you. You could see him roll his eyes back in satisfaction. When you started to grow tired, you switched to grinding, recovered, and went back at it again.   
  
"You feel so good," he whispered breathlessly.   
  
After riding him for a few minutes, you could tell he was getting closer, and you wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine. You stopped riding him and climbed off.   
  
"I was so close," he panted out.   
  
"Not yet," you shot back at him. You walked over to the table and bent over. Spencer took the hint and quickly came up behind you. He grabbed your hair with one hand and gripped your side with the other hand for balance. He started pumping in and out of you as he tugged your hair back. You didn't even care anymore that you relinquished control. You were enjoying this too much. You liked bold Spencer, but shy Spencer had a special place in your heart.   
  
You let out a cry of pleasure as he transitioned to long, deep strokes. After a few more rounds, you could feel him pull out of you and finish on your back. You could hear he was out of breath. He quickly got some tissues out of his bag and cleaned up your back. Once he threw the tissues away, he watched you with a lustful gaze as he said, "Your turn."   
  
You laid on the table on your back with your legs spread open. He gave you a few seconds break before inserting two fingers into your opening. He used his other hand to keep playing with your clit. It took him a few tries, but finally, he found the sweet spot inside. His fingers ran over the ridge over and over, and you could feel the sensation build up again. He let you finish this time, and it felt so good to get some relief. He used his tongue to clean you up.   
  
..................  
  
For the rest of the study session, you and Spencer laid together on the blanket on the floor and used his extra blanket to cover you up. You laid your head on his chest, and he played with your hair. You listened to the sound of his heartbeat as you quietly dozed off.   
  



	23. Chapter 23

You could see the Ferris Wheel lights all the way from the parking lot. Emily, JJ, Penelope, and you all rode together while Derek and Spencer carpooled with each other. They pulled into the lot a few minutes after the girls arrived. When Spencer hopped out of the car, you ran over to him and gave him a huge bear hug. Ever since the day in the library, you felt closer than ever to him. You could tell he felt the same because he felt more comfortable with PDA in front of the friend group recently.

The six of you walked to the entrance of the fair and paid for the tickets. You could hear the sounds of the rides accompanied by the cries and screams of the people on them. Once inside, it was a festival of lights, games, rides, and food trucks. You weren’t sure where to go to first, but you knew you wanted to do it all.

The first stop of the night was food. Everyone had already eaten dinner, so it was time to binge on desserts. Emily and JJ split a funnel cake. When JJ had powder on her nose and the sides of her mouth, Emily used her finger to wipe it off for her and gave her a kiss. Penelope ordered what seemed like the world’s largest caramel apple, and Derek watched in awe. You and Spencer decided to order slushies, and you shared them since you each got different flavors.

It was not a good idea to eat and go on rides, so everyone thought it was best to walk around and play some carnival games. Emily seemed to beat every game, no matter how rigged it was. The look on the carnival staff’s faces were priceless as Emily won the unwinnable games. By the end, JJ was carrying around 6 stuffed animals. Spencer managed to win you a cheesy tourist shirt that was two sizes too big. Spencer felt bad about not winning you anything else, so to make him feel better, you wore the shirt over the tank top you were wearing. You loved it. It made you laugh.  
  
Next, the group squeezed into the tiny photo booth. If you didn’t take pictures with your gang at the fair, did you even go? The first picture was everyone smiling and wrapping their arms around each other. The next few pictures were silly, chaotic ones. You were going to pin these photos on your fridge when you got home.  
  
The first ride on the list was the haunted house. You and Spencer squeezed into the first cart and the rest of the gang followed behind. The cart took you through the living room, where there were fake dead bodies scattered on the couch. Blood covered the walls, and the lights flickered off. When they turned back on, a guy in an ax murderer costume popped out next to Spencer, causing him to flinch and let out a small cry. You giggled at his reaction, and he nudged you with his elbow. Your teasing didn’t last for long because the next room was the kitchen, where some cannibals were having a feast. A cannibal with a chainsaw came up behind you and revved it, causing you to scream and dive into Spencer’s arms for safety. You clung to him tightly, hiding your face into his chest. It was his turn to laugh at you.

Penelope, JJ, Emily, and Derek went off to ride a rollercoaster, but you and Spencer hung back since neither of you were fans of rollercoasters. You had motion sickness, and Spencer didn’t like feeling of being confined by the tight seatbelts and bars. You grabbed Spencer’s hand and pulled him toward the Ferris Wheel. It was the perfect opportunity for some alone time with him. The two of you sat down in the seat next to each other, and the ride started to move. It moved slowly toward the sky, and you could see the whole fair illuminate the night. The wind lightly blew through your hair, causing you to shiver. Spencer wrapped his arm around you tentatively, and you reassured him by nuzzling your head into his shoulder.

When you reached the top, Spencer said, “I think I was promised a kiss.”

“I’m a woman of my word,” you replied.

You could have swore sparks flew when your lips touched his. You kissed him plenty of times before, but this moment was more magical than ever. It must have been the atmosphere of the night. You felt like you were in a fairytale. As the wheel moved back toward the ground again, you didn’t care who was watching. You kissed Spencer repeatedly until the ride came into a complete stop.

When you got off the ride, Spencer felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket. He reached for it and picked up the phone call. He seemed anxious. You pulled him off to the side, so he could talk in private without the noise from the fair interrupting his call. You backed off a bit to give him space, but you could tell from his face something was wrong. He paced back and forth. He hung up the phone and rushed over to you.

“Is everything okay?” you asked anxiously.

“No, it’s not…apparently, my mom was just admitted to the hospital,” Spencer said shakily.

“Oh my god. Here, Spence, let’s sit down for a second. You’re shaking,” you suggested as you placed a hand on his arm to comfort him.  
  
“No, I can’t sit down! I have to go,” Spencer shot back at you. He started walking away quickly toward the parking lot.  
  
You followed him and said, “Let me come with you. I can drive you. I don’t want you driving when you’re this upset.”

“No, it’s fine. I can handle this on my own.”  
  
“Spencer, please, let me help. You don’t have to go through this alone.”  
  
“I’ve taken care of her alone for most of my life, so I think I know what I’m doing. I don’t need your help. I’m perfectly capable of handling this on my own,” he snapped at you.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insinuate that you couldn’t do this. I just thought-”  
  
“Let me make this clear. I don’t need you.”  
  
You stopped in your tracks, and you could feel the hot tears welling up in your eyes. Your heart ached for him, but he took that as an opportunity to break it. You knew this moment wasn’t about you- it was about him and his mom- but you couldn’t pretend like those words didn’t crush you.  
  
Spencer didn’t turn around to look at you. He just kept walking away, but he could sense you were hurt. He said in a defeated tone, “Just go back to the rest of the group, Y/N. Please.”

He left out the front entrance and headed toward his car. You watched him go as you stood alone in the middle of the fair. You could feel the tears rolling down your cheeks.


	24. Chapter 24

After Spencer disappeared into the dark parking lot, you tried to wipe away your tears, but more tears replaced the ones you wiped away. You could start to feel people starting to look at you. You hurried over to a secluded bench behind a tent, so you could cry in peace. Your head fell into your hands as you softly wept. You were hurt and worried and angry, and you even felt guilty that you were making this moment about you rather than Spencer and his mom. You also knew that even if Spencer was upset, he didn't have the right to hurt you as he did. Just a few days ago, you felt closer than ever to him. Now, you felt like you were a million miles away.   
  
You weren't sure how long you were sitting on the bench. You were startled by the rest of the group coming up to you. Emily lightly shook your shoulder to alert you. You looked up at them with your puffy eyes, causing Penelope to immediately devour you into a hug. Emily kept her hand on your shoulder to comfort you. Derek and JJ sat down beside you, ready to listen.  
  
"What's going on, Y/N?" JJ asked in a soothing tone.  
  
You sniffled.  
  
"Where's Reid?" Derek followed up.   
  
You took a deep breath to collect yourself. "He got a call saying his mom was admitted to the hospital. He went back home to make sure she's okay. I tried to comfort him, but he pushed me away, so I offered to help, instead. He snapped at me and told me that he didn't need me. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal, but there was just so much...I don't know...resentfulness....no...contempt in his words. I'm just shook up. He scared me," you explained in between sniffles.   
  
"I can't believe he would say something like that!" Emily said in disbelief.  
  
"I couldn't believe it either. I think maybe that's why I'm so upset. I trusted him so much not to hurt me, and he did."  
  
"I'm so sorry, Y/N," JJ consoled you.  
  
  
"Dump his ass," Penelope advised.  
  
Her comment made you and the others giggle. She always knew how to lighten the mood.  
  
"I've known Reid for a while now, and I know he would never hurt you on purpose. I think he's just scared, and whatever you said must have confirmed any doubts or feelings of powerlessness he already had. It wasn't right to take it out on you, but he'll realize what he's done, and he'll definitely feel bad. He'll come back around, I promise," Derek explained.   
  
"Thanks, everyone. I don't know what I would do without you guys. I don't want to ruin the night, so you guys can go back to the fair if you want. I'll catch up in a few," you told the group.   
  
"We were going to head back anyway. It's almost midnight," Emily reassured you.  
  
"Okay, thanks, guys."   
  
.................  
  
As soon as you got home, you slipped into your pajamas and rolled up into your softest blanket. You watched some reruns of Seinfeld (what else is there to watch so early in the morning?) before dozing off to sleep.   
  
You slept in late. You were emotionally drained. After texting back the girls, you decided to text Spencer. Even though you were upset at him, you didn't want to be petty. You still wanted to be there for him during this hardship. Even though Spencer blew you off, you didn't want him to be alone in this. Derek was probably right. He probably was scared and didn't want to ask for help.  
  
 **Hey...how's your mom doing? How are you doing?  
  
** You waited a few hours for a response. In the meantime, you did some house chores to keep your mind off being upset. You tried not to think about last night. You sent another text.  
  
 **Is everything okay?  
  
** A few more hours passed by. You were out of chores, so you resorted to eating ice cream.   
  
**I know you're probably busy, but I am worried about you. Text me when you can.  
  
** No response. You gave up and went to bed.   
  
.............  
  
You tried texting him again on Sunday, but that was a bust, too. You didn't even try calling him because you knew hearing his voicemail would hurt even more than being left on delivered. By the end of Sunday evening, you were over it. You were worried sick about him even though he hurt you. The least he could do is respond and tell you that he was still alive or something. You were frustrated, but only because you cared so much about him, and it hurts even more not knowing about what's happening with him.   
  
Spencer wasn't in class on Monday or Wednesday. It was for the best because you probably would have ripped his head off. You texted him once every couple days to check-in, but you got the same response each time: nothing. At this point, you just wanted to throw your phone away and drive to Las Vegas yourself. But, you respected his wishes to be left alone.  
  
Over the weekend, Derek texted you, giving you a heads up that Spencer just returned back to the apartment. You asked how he was doing, and Derek replied that he spoke very little and seemed very tired. He mostly kept to himself in his room. Your heart ached.   
  
.....................  
  
Soon enough, Monday rolled around, and you spotted Spencer sitting his usual seat. He was reading a psych textbook, probably catching up on another class he missed. You walked up to your seat and sat down next to him silently. You weren't going to initiate the conversation. You already tried that over the phone. It was his turn to start talking.   
  
He didn't say anything.   
  
You could feel the tension between the two of you throughout the whole lecture. Ice seemed to crystallize from you while storm clouds formed over Spencer. You wanted to go home. You needed to be away from him.  
  
Once class ended, you slid your stuff into your bag and started to walk away when you heard your name from a timid voice. You turned around to see Spencer looking at you. He looked exhausted. The dark circles under his eyes had sunken deeper into his face. His eyes held the remanents of long nights of crying. His hair was disheveled, and he looked older.   
  
You weren't sure what to say to him. You just raised your eyebrows, waiting for him to continue.  
  
"Can I borrow your notes from this class from last week?" he asked.   
  
"I thought you didn't need me," you said flatly.   
  
Spencer looked down at his lap.  
  
You knew he probably had a lot of work to catch up on and would only ask if he was desperate. You could be petty and walk away. You could scoff at him and throw the notes in his face. But, you cared for him. Your heart was pained by how he looked. You knew he had a lot going on, so you decided to put your angry feelings aside for the moment to help him out in a time of need, but you knew you had to share these angry feelings with him soon.  
  
You sighed softly and pulled the notes out of your bag. You gently placed the notebook in front of him, causing him to look up.  
  
"Here," you softened your tone. "Give them back to me Wednesday."   
  
You turned back around and headed toward the exit without looking back.   
  
.....................  
  
Once you got home, you checked your phone, surprised to see a message from Spencer.   
  
_Now, he decides to respond. A little late there, bud.  
  
_ You unlock your phone to read the message.  
  
It reads: Can I come over tomorrow? I do need you, and I need to talk to you.  
  
You texted back: **Come over at 6pm tomorrow. I need to talk to you, too.**  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	25. Chapter 25

You felt guilty for lying in bed for most of the day watching reruns or watching the game show network. You had seen way too many episodes of Family Feud today, but your sadness had you trapped under the covers. You didn't realize how fast the day went by until your alarm rang. It was time to get up and face Spencer. Groaning as you rolled out of bed, you moped toward the shower.  
  
Once you were cleaned up, you transitioned from one set of sweatpants to another. You didn't have the energy to put on "real" clothes. When you were ready, you sprawled out on the couch waiting for his arrival. Soon enough, you heard a few soft knocks on the door.   
  
Spencer sheepishly stood in the doorway. He still looked pretty rough. You welcomed him in quietly, and he timidly sat on the couch. You sat across from him rather than next to him. You didn't want to be close to him right now. You decided to start off the conversation after a few seconds of awkward silence.   
  
"How is your mom doing? Is she okay?" you inquired.   
  
"Yeah, she's okay. She hasn't been taking her meds for the past couple of weeks, so she had a really bad episode. She hurt herself and was violent toward the nurses, so she had to be hospitalized. She's safe now."   
  
"I'm so sorry she had to go through that. It must have been really scary for the both of you. I'm glad she's doing better. How about you? Are you okay?"  
  
"I was upset for a few days, but once she started recovering back to her old self, I felt better. I'm okay now. I'm just exhausted, and I feel horrible for the way I treated you."  
  
"You really hurt me, Spence," you started choking up already. You cleared your voice as you looked down at your lap, trying to fight back against the tears.  
  
"I know," he said in a subdued tone. "I'm so sorry, Y/N. You have to know that I didn't mean what I said. I was caught up in the moment, and I lashed out on you when you were only trying to help me."  
  
"How was I supposed to know you didn't mean it? It seemed pretty real to me. I've never seen you look at me, or anyone, like that," you replied back, still not looking at him.  
  
"I never want you to be scared of me. I want you to feel secure with me. I'm sorry I took that away from you."  
  
"It hurt me even more because that's not the first time someone has told me that, and I thought I wouldn't have to go through that with you. My old partner from Georgia Tech broke up with me when they transferred to a university overseas. We had a fight about whether we should break up or try to do long-distance, and they told me that they didn't need me to hold them back. They told me that they were fine with breaking up with me because they were fine on their own," you paused to sniffle and wipe a tear away.  
  
"Is that the reason why you transferred here?" Spencer asked carefully.   
  
"No, no..." you said as you shook your head. "My friends ended up leaving me, too. They joined clubs or Greek life or student government or studied overseas or whatever, and I was struggling in school, so I didn't have time to join any extracurriculars. Soon enough, they spent less time hanging out with me and more time with their new groups. We still keep in touch, but it was like being told I wasn't needed all over again. When you said that to me, I started to think maybe the common denominator is me. Maybe I'm the problem. Maybe there's just something wrong with me." You could hear your voice start to break and your lips quiver, but you held it together.   
  
He grabbed your hand quickly, causing you to look up. "There's nothing wrong with you, I promise. _I need you._ I need you a lot, more than I'm willing to admit."  
  
"Then why didn't you answer my messages? I was so worried."   
  
"It's just hard for me to know how to need people. My dad left my mom and I when I was young, and my mom was just diagnosed with schizophrenia. I had to take care of her all by myself as a kid while going to school and avoiding people bullying me. I'm not really used to having someone to help me, so I got defensive. I was scared to ask for help because I didn't want to seem like I couldn't do it. I'm still working on it," Spencer replied as his voice start to waver, too.   
  
"I understand how you feel," you emphasized with him.   
  
"I think we should be friends," he blurted out. This comment hit you like a ton of bricks. Sure, you were upset with him but not enough to break up with him.  
  
"What?" you said in utter disbelief.   
  
"I haven't been a good boyfriend to you, and I need to take the time to learn how to need other people. The only way I know how to do that is to learn to not take you for granted. Taking time away from you is the only way I can show myself how much my life isn't better off without you...to show myself how much I need you."  
  
"What is this? Some sort of experiment?" you scoffed. Somehow, he managed to hurt you even more.  
  
"No, of course not," he shot back. He took a deep breath and softened his tone. "I promise, this is what I need right now. This is going to be the best thing for _us."  
  
"_Spencer, please. I forgive you. You don't have to do this. I'm hurt and I'm mad and I'm upset, but I still want to be with you. Please," you felt the tears flow down your face.  
  
"I'm grateful for your forgiveness, but please, Y/N, honor my wishes about this."   
  
He took your hand and placed a light kiss on the back of it before he got up to leave. As he closed the door behind him, you sat on the couch motionlessly. Time seemed to stop.   
  
You were alone. 


	26. Chapter 26

Time flies by when the days blur together. It's weird being sad. Time seems to move so agonizingly slow, yet, you blink and you feel like your life is speeding toward the end. It's been a few weeks since Spencer ended things. The first few classes were awkward. Neither of you attempted small talk. You were too upset to interact with him, and he felt too guilty to look at you. It was just a melancholy silence between the two of you. 

You tried to keep normalcy, but some things were just too hard because they were constant reminders. You tried meeting up with him in your usual spot in the library, but it reminded you too much of the intimate moment you shared together. You faked an emergency to leave and hurried to the bathroom to stop hyperventilating. After that moment, you knew there was no hope of hanging out with him outside of class. Instead, you spent your time trying your best to keep your mind off it by hanging with your girls, but they could tell your mind was elsewhere whenever you would come over. Some days, though, they cheered you up and you forgot all about it. 

After that, things seemed to move toward being back to normal. Spencer and you started chatting again during class without it being weird. He made you laugh a few times here and there, but it made you realize all over again how much you missed him. How after all this time, you still had a place in your heart reserved for him. It made your heart twinge with a subtle sadness, but you managed to move past it. You just hoped that he missed you, too. 

................................................  
  
You were reading a book out on your balcony. It was almost winter, and you could feel the nip in the air. It was invigorating. You were bundled up in a giant, fuzzy blanket accompanied by a steaming cup of hot chocolate. In anticipation of Christmas, you already decorated your apartment. You wished Spencer was there to help you decorate like he did for Halloween, but you had a good time by yourself as you decked the halls. It was practically a winter wonderland by the time you were done. 

Enthralled in your book, you didn't hear the first set of rapid knocks on your door. The second time, they were much louder, and you almost jumped out of the rocking chair. You scrambled to the door to find a distraught Spencer. Tears were gushing out of his eyes. He had a frantic look on his face, and he was dripped in sweat.   
  
"Spencer, what's wrong? What's going on?" you asked in a panic. You placed your hand on his shoulder to try to stop him from shaking. 

"It's-It's my mom. She snuck out of her assisted living facility to surprise me before Thanksgiving break and she got into a car accident and Derek has my car and he's out of town and I don't know what to do, so I ran here, and I need help. Please, please, _please_ I don't know what to do," he bawled.  
  
You grabbed your keys off the rack next to the door. "I can drive you. Let's hurry," you urged him.   
  
You held his hand to steady him as the two of you rushed down the stairs and into the car. You drove as fast as you could to the hospital without getting pulled over. Spencer was anxiously tapping on the window sill as he gazed out the window with a worried expression. He did his best not to cry, but some tears managed to escape. After whipping into a parking spot, the two of you flew into the hospital waiting room.  
  
Spencer frantically talked with the nurse, and she informed him that his mother was still in surgery.   
  
"I need to see her," Spencer pleaded.   
  
"I understand. You can see her as soon as she's stabilized after surgery," the nurse assured him.   
  
"How long do you think it will be?" Spencer pressed further.  
  
"It will probably be a couple of hours. You are welcome to wait in here, and I can give you any updates I get," the nurse promised him.   
  
"Thank you," you replied to the nurse as you pulled Spencer toward the seating area.   
  
You popped over to the vending machine, got some snacks, and convinced Spencer to eat. He didn't release how famished he really was and ended up devouring the snacks. You rubbed his back with the palm of your hand soothingly. Jeopardy played on the television screen. You pointed it out to Spencer as a way to distract him. Reluctantly, he started answering the questions. You chimed in a few times with some answers, but Spencer knew most of them.   
  
Once the adrenaline emptied from Spencer's system, he dozed off next to you. He was slouching down, so you guided his head toward your shoulder. He was breathing softly next to you. You ran your hands through your hair to relax him further.   
  
A couple hours later, the nurse came back over for an update. You gently shook Spencer awake.   
  
"Hi, I have an update about your mom. The surgery went very well, and she is recovering in the ICU. She is alert, but she is very tired and weak. She asked for you, and I told her I would come and get you. Would you like to see her now?"  
  
Spencer nodded and jumped up out of the seat. You followed the nurse back to the ICU. You were going to meet Spencer's mom.   
  
  
  



	27. Chapter 27

Before entering the room, the nurse informed Spencer of his mother's condition. According to the nurse, there was internal bleeding due to a ruptured spleen. The surgeons successfully stopped the bleeding by removing her spleen, but she lost a lot of blood, causing her to go into shock during surgery. As the nurse told Spencer the news, you could see he was horrified. His hand was placed over his mouth to keep him from crying. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he managed to pull it together. He didn't want his mom to see him upset. To comfort him, the nurse told him that she is recovering well so far and believes she will make a successful recovery.   
  
When the nurse was done talking, Spencer quickly ran into the room by his mother's side. Spencer's mom was softly dozing in her hospital bed. You were surprised she could sleep through all the beeping machines. Her head was wrapped in a bandage, and there was evidence of some cuts on her face. Her left arm was in a sling. You stood tentatively behind him, waiting for him to give you the cue to come over. You didn't want to intrude.   
  
Spencer grabbed his mother's right hand and gently rubbed it. He whispered, "Hi, mom. It's me, Spencer."

His mother slowly opened her eyes, blinked a few times, and looked Spencer up and down. You could tell from her eyes she was still out of it.  
  
"Spencer...where am I? What's going on?" his mother asked groggily. 

"It's okay. It's okay. You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident, and they had to take you to surgery, but you're okay. Thank god, you're okay," Spencer replied.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Spencer," Diana croaked out.   
  
"No, no don't apologize. It was an accident. I'm just glad you're okay. We're going to get you through this, I promise."   
  
"We? Is your father here?" Diana asked.   
  
That's when Spencer looked back at you, giving you the signal to come around the corner. You stepped into the light next to Spencer. Diana looked you up and down.   
  
"Hi, Mrs. Reid, I'm Y/N. I'm a close friend of Spencer's. I drove him to the hospital," you answered.  
  
“Oh, yes, I’ve heard all about you. Spencer is very fond of you,” Diana said, trying her best for form a smile despite her weakness.   
  
“Well, that’s good because I’m very fond of your son,” you said, trying to keep things lighthearted.

Spencer offered you a grateful smile before returning his focus back to his mom.   
  
“How are you feeling?” he asked her worriedly.   
  
“Oh, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me,” Diana reassured him, but she wasn’t very convincing.   
  
“Mom…” Spencer pressed her.   
  
“The pain killers are helping,” Diana admitted. You saw her press the medication button. A few seconds later, some of the grimacing from her face disappeared.   
  
“You can’t do this ever again. If you want to see me, you call me, and I come to you, okay?” Spencer lectured her. He was firm, but you could tell he was just looking out for what’s best for her.   
  
“It can be hell at the facility. I feel like a prisoner sometimes. I was going out of my mind,” Diana looked away.   
  
“Mom, did you stop taking your meds again? Be honest,” Spencer prodded her.  
  
“They cloud my brain. I want to write, and I want to read, but those damn meds mess with my head. I used to be a prestigious academic, but those meds make me feel so stupid.”  
  
Spencer said as he lowered his head. After he collected himself, he replied, “We’ll figure it out, Mom, I promise.”  
  
“What if you stayed in my bedroom while you recover, so Spencer can keep an eye on you, and you can have your own space. I can sleep on the pull-out couch,” you offered.   
  
“I couldn’t put you out like that. You’ve already done so much for me and Spencer,” Diana refused.   
  
“No, please, I would love to have you. You _cannot_ spend Thanksgiving in the hospital. I won’t let it happen.”  
  
“I think it’s a great idea. Thank you, Y/N,” Spencer grabbed your hand and squeezed it.   
  
“We can spend some time getting to know each other. I need to know the girl my Spencer is gushing all about,” Diana said with a wink. You could tell the pain meds were kicking in.   
  
You could tell Spencer felt awkward. It was clear he didn’t tell his mom about the recent events between the two of you. You said goodnight to Diana and told Spencer you would give him space with his mom while you called to reserve a hotel room.   
  
………………….  
  
You called the hotel, and you snagged one of the last rooms. The only catch was that there was only one bed. You were too tired to keep searching for rooms, so you reserved it. You knew you both were going to be too tired to care about the awkwardness.   
  
The car ride over to the hotel was quiet because Spencer quickly fell into a light slumber. You shook him awake. He was disorientated when you woke him up, but he trudged his way into the room before flopping on the bed. He fell back asleep instantly. You took off his shoes, belt, shirt, and pants for him, so he could sleep comfortably. He mumbled a thank you. You stripped down to your underwear since you didn’t bring any pajamas and climbed into bed next to him.   
  
You slept for a few hours, but you were woken up by the sounds of muffled crying. You noticed the bathroom door light was shining from underneath the door. You crawled out of bed and pressed your ear up against the door to hear sniffling. After knocking on the door, you heard Spencer tell you to come in. He was sitting on the floor with his knees to his chest and his head rested against the cabinet. You extended out your hand, he took it, and you pulled him up from the floor without saying anything. You guided him back to bed, tucking him in under the covers. You slid into the bed behind him and placed his head on your chest. You stroked his hair soothingly while humming lightly. You massaged his temples and his scalp. Every now and then, you wiped a tear from his eye. Soon enough, he fell back asleep, and you spooned him for the rest of the night.   
  
……………….  
  
This cycle repeated itself for the next few days until Diana was discharged. Wake up. Not talk about last night. Eat breakfast. Drive to the hospital. Visit Diana. Go back to the hotel. Comfort Spencer. Cuddle him in bed. Repeat.   
  
You were happy to do it because you knew Spencer really needed you there. You don’t know how he would survive by himself. He never said the words, “I need you” during this trip, but his actions told you the truth.   
  
When Diana was ready to be discharged, the nurse went over the instructors on how to care for her and administer her meds to you and Spencer. Spencer called her facility and updated them on the current plan to take her back to your place for the rest of Thanksgiving break.   
  
Diana ended up being a good house guest. You and Spencer shared the pull-out couch since you gave Diana your bed. When Spencer was out getting food or new bandages, you would sit next to his mom on your bed and chat with her. She would tell your stories about Spencer’s childhood in exchange for your stories about him. The conversation flowed very naturally between the two of you, and you became less intimidated by her.  
  
……….  
  


You were weary about Thanksgiving, but you managed to pull it together. The rest of the gang went home for the holidays, and your parents went on a cruise, so it was just you, Diana, and Spencer. You didn’t have the time or the energy to make a full-course dinner since you were acting as a caregiver, so you bought a meal from the local grocery store.   
  
The three of you sat around your small dining table surrounded by stuffing, sweet potatoes, turkey, green beans, rolls, and mac and cheese. Diana was feeling much better which made the day more enjoyable. After the meal, you watched a rerun of the Thanksgiving Day Parade, rating the floats as they passed by. Spencer ran out to get dessert since you forgot which gave Diana the perfect opportunity to ask you her pressing questions.   
  
“Y/N, I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done for us,” she started off.   
  
“You’re welcome. I’m glad we could celebrate the season together. It’s been nice getting to know you, and I’m glad you can be free from that facility for a little bit,” you responded.   
  
“I see the way you and Spencer look at each other. He told me a few days ago you two had a fight, but I can still tell you care for each other very much. Life is too short to be angry or upset or to be apart,” she urged you.  
  
“He broke it off with me. I don’t want to force him into something he doesn’t want or isn’t ready for,” you explained.   
  
She shook her head. “He’s a moron.”  
  
You chuckled. “No matter what he’s still my friend. Don’t worry. You can’t get rid of me quite yet.”   
  
“Well, I hope he comes to his senses because he loves you, and I know it.”  
  
You almost spit out your apple cider. “Love me?”  
  
“Just a hunch.”  
  
Spencer walked back through the front door, meaning the conversation was over, and you were more confused than ever.   
  



	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! Only a few more chapters left! I can't believe this fic is almost over. I had so much fun writing this, so....I'm planning on writing another one.
> 
> I would love some suggestions from you guys. In the comments for the next few chapters, please put your ideas about characters, alternate universes, plot, type of fic, etc etc. All ideas are welcome. After the last chapter, I will post an update about what my next fic will be about using some of your ideas. Thanks for your help!

After Thanksgiving when classes resumed, Spencer and you drove Diana back to her care facility. You were sad to see her go, but she seemed much happier and healthier. After Spencer spoke to the nurses about his mom’s concerns, it was time to make the trip back home. The two of you chatted for most of the way back, mostly about the upcoming study abroad trip and final exam week. You were glad you and Spencer were back on good terms, especially since you were travel partners for the Paris trip.

Spencer dropped you off at your place and thanked you profusely one last time for all your help. You nodded your head and gave him a send-off wave. You weren’t sure what the future held for you and Spencer regarding your relationship, but you weren’t worried. You were just grateful that he wasn’t like your other friends or the past relationship that didn’t need you. He really did need you, and his actions match up with his words. You were content with that for now. It felt good to be wanted and needed.

But, Diana’s insight about Spencer still lingered in the back of your mind. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but it tugged at you.

 _Does he love me? More importantly, do I love him? Thanks a lot, Diana. I already have enough overthinking to do with finals next week.  
  
……………………  
  
_On Sunday, your phone lit up, showing a picture of you and Spencer. You clicked the accept call button.   
  
“Hey there, Spence,” you said.  
  
“Hey, Y/N. Do you have a moment to talk?”   
  
Your stomach dropped.   
  
_Oh, god. This is the “we need to talk” conversation. I guess Diana was wrong._

“Uh, sure, yeah. I can talk,” you replied nervously.   
  
“I know things have been crazy these past two weeks with us and my mom, so we didn’t get another chance to talk after our last conversation.”  
  
 _Oh, yes, the conversation where you literally snapped my heart into pieces? Can’t forget about that one.  
  
_ “Okay…” you said wearily.   
  
“I’m sorry about everything. I’m sorry I hurt you that night at the carnival. I’m sorry I hurt you again by saying we were better as friends. You didn’t have to be a good friend and help me with my mom after I hurt you, but you did. I am eternally grateful for that. I hope you see how much I really do need you, Y/N.”  
  
You paused to soak in everything he said.   
  
“Spencer, I forgive you. I don’t want to hold this anger or hurt against you anymore, and you’ve shown me that you really are a man of your word. I didn’t really trust you at first when you told me that you really did need me, but you proved to me that you were honest by coming to me for help with you mom. But, it doesn’t have to be an emergency for you to need me. I want to be there for you with all my being, but you have to let me, okay? I’m not saying you have to be excessively dependent on me. I just want you to let me in. I don’t want to feel like the relationship- or friendship now I guess- is one-sided- that I’m more into you than you are into me. You understand what I’m saying?”   
  
“Thank you for your forgiveness. I’m glad you can be open about this with me. I didn’t want these next few weeks to go by without saying something,” Spencer responded.   
  
“Yeah, this was on my mind, too. I’m glad I could get this off my chest. I finally feel like we can move on from this…anyway, I gotta go. See you tomorrow?”   
  
“Yeah, yeah, see you.”

…………………

The week before finals was packed with late-night study sessions in the library or your place. Both of you caught yourselves falling asleep at the table, your heads nestled in your textbooks. You swore your body was 90% caffeine by the end of the week. You couldn’t study at Spencer’s because Derek would always find a way to distract the both of you.

Despite all the information trying to cram into your head, you still thought about him. You would catch him looking at you sometimes. When you would look back up and meet his eyes, he didn’t divert his eyes like he did before. He held his gaze with you, causing you to feel the unspoken, pent-up emotions between the two of you, connecting you both like an invisible string. Every time it happened, you could see the string close its distance; even though you were across the table from him, you never felt so intimate with him.

Finals week was stressful, as expected, but you felt confident about most of your exams. A wave of relief washed over you once the week ended, and you could finally focus on your excitement about the trip. Once you finished your last test, you raced home to pack. The next morning, Spencer was outside your apartment in his car, right on time, of course, to pick you up for the airport. You dashed outside, loaded your suitcase in the trunk, and hopped in the passenger seat.   
  
“Paris, here we come!” you exclaimed as you threw your hands up in the air.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATES: please read!

Hey, everyone! I'm sorry for the slow update. Don't worry! I won't leave this fic unfinished. I appreciate your patience. I've been busy with class assignments and college events, so I haven't gotten a chance to write very much. Anyway, I plan on posting the last few chapters tomorrow later in the evening, so the fic will be complete!   
  
Don't forget to comment on suggestions for another fic if you want one!   
  
-MoonRiver


	30. Chapter 30

At the beginning of the plane ride, you and Spencer chatted excitedly about your plans. You flipped through brochures trying to figure out what to do in your free time. Most of the trip was dictated by the professor and the classwork, but there were some days when you were granted free time to explore. Spencer was spewing out random facts after each page turn of the pamphlet. You told him he should be a tour guide with all the information he knows.

Once the sun set and night fell upon the plane, you could feel yourself dozing off. Spencer was off in his own world reading a book comfortably with his neck pillow. You clowned him for it, but now that you were sleepy, you envied it. After a few minutes of desperately trying to get comfortable, you gave up with a huff. Spencer gave a slight chuckle and patted his neck pillow, motioning you to use it. You leaned your head and placed it on the neck pillow on top of his shoulder. Spencer went back to reading his book, and you went to sleep a few minutes later as you were enveloped with his scent. 

.............

You and Spencer were able to snag a hotel room together. You were slightly disappointed there were two beds this time. Both of you quickly unpacked your things before heading down to the lobby to meet up with the class for the first tour.

The first trip was to the Louvre Museum. Before being set free, Professor Rothschild passed out notebooks and announced the assignment to the class, "Your first assignment is to walk around the museum and find a work of art that you feel conveys the best interpretation of love and why. Then, I want you to find a painting that conveys an interpretation of love you do not like or disagree with and why. Please write your thoughts down in the notebooks. Meet me back here in two and a half hours. Enjoy!" 

After walking through a few exhibits, you came upon a painting called Apollo and Daphne. You jotted this painting down as an interpretation of love you did not like. In the painting, Apollo is trying to pursue Daphne who is trying to escape. It represents an unwanted desire. The painting made you uncomfortable.  
  
"I guess Apollo doesn't understand that no means no," Spencer noted.   
  
You grunted in agreement, trying to get away from the painting to find one you did like. The painting you found was not a picture of love but of adoration. The Adoration of the Shepherds depicted the worshiping of baby Jesus. You like this version of love because it was innocent and beautiful. The birth of the baby is one of the strongest moments of love for a mother. You wrote it down in your notebook.   
  
.....................  
  
The next day was a free exploration day. You and Spencer went shopping in a plaza area, looking around for souvenirs in cute boutiques.  
Afterward, you and Spencer dined in a cafe and talked about your plans for Christmas. Both of you were planning to go home and spend time with family. Spencer expressed his disappointment of not spending the holidays with you again since he had so much fun at Thanksgiving. You promised him you would be back in January to be his date to Maeve's wedding. He grinned, imaging you in a formal dress dancing with him slowly. 

After spending the day together, you realized how weird it seemed that you guys weren't a couple. You had to stop yourself from grabbing his hand multiple times during the shopping trip. When you got back to the room, you almost flopped down into Spencer's bed into his arms for a nap. You liked being Spencer's friend, but it was hard not to be his girlfriend. You considered asking him to get back together, but you didn't want to be rejected again.

....................

Up next was a boat tour on the Seine River. The class ate lunch on the lower deck as the boat cruised smoothly across the water. A tour guide pointed out some attractions and sights to see while giving some history about them. Spencer recited some other facts the tour guide didn't mention in your ear, causing you to giggle every so often. Everytime his mouth would get close to your ear, butterflies caused a storm in your stomach. You wondered if he knew what he did to you. 

Professor Rothschild instructed everyone to write in their journals about a time that made you think it's better to have loved and lost than to never love at all and explain why.   
  
After the boat tour, the class headed to the Normandy Beaches and American Cemetery. It was cold since it was winter, but Spencer pushed you into the water. It was ice cold, and you pulled Spencer into the water with you as revenge. The other students laughed at you two at first but joined you in the freezing water. The tour guide looked at the class jumping into the icy water with confusion and surprise. Professor Rothschild could only offer a shrug and a playful smile. After getting out of the water, you were shivering, so Spencer offered you his extra coat, and he wrapped it around you tightly. His arms lingered around you after he put the coat on, but he cleared his throat and removed his hands. Then, the professor instructed everyone to write about a time where you thought its better to have never loved at all than to love and to lose someone. You sat next to Spencer in a grassy area as you both journaled. Spencer had a furrowed brow on his face as he wrote, and you wondered what his story was.   
  
..............  
  
The next morning, Spencer woke you up by gently shaking you. You flipped over to see him standing over you. You rubbed your eyes and mumbled, "What's going on?"  
  
Spencer whispered, "Hey, we are leaving in ten minutes to go to Montemarte."   
  
You jolted awake. "What?? Ten minutes?? And you didn't wake me up until now??"   
  
Spencer became bashful as he mumbled, "You looked so cute sleeping. I didn't have the heart to wake you."

 _Do I sense some flirting or is it just my imagination? I mean, it is pretty early in the morning. My brain isn't fully functioning yet. Maybe I should flirt back to see...  
  
_"You're lucky you're so sweet or else I would kick your ass right now, Reid," you stuck out your tongue at him before getting up to quickly change into some clothes.   
  
"Well, I hope I can make it up to you since I made dinner reservations for us tonight. Formal attire required," Spencer replied.   
  
"Hmm maybe I'll forgive you," you said jokingly.   
  
.........  
  
After getting back from a long day at Montemarte, you hopped in the shower to take a hot rinse before getting changed. Once you dried off, you slipped on a classy black jumpsuit with black heels and a silver necklace with matching earrings. You put on some glam makeup and blow-dried your hair. After a couple of twirls and a few dance moves in the mirror, you were ready to go. You walked outside the bathroom to see Spencer waiting in a sharp black suit. His cuff links were silver open books, matching your jewelry. Spencer looked up from his hands to see you, and his eyes widened as they tracked you from head to toe. He said something under his breath before clearing his throat.   
  
"Wow-I-um, you-you look amazing, Y/N. Absolutely stunning," Spencer managed to get out.   
  
"You clean up really nice, too, Spence. Ready to go?" you asked.  
  
"A car is waiting for us downstairs," Spencer said as he put his hand on the small of your back, motioning you out the door. A pleasurable chill ran up your spine.   
  
..........  
  
Dinner was probably the most delicious meal you ever had. You and Spencer ordered a bottle of white wine and three dishes to share with each other. You had a lovely table next to the window with a pure white tablecloth and a bouquet of roses and delicate golden candles. Over dinner, you talked about Maeve's wedding and reminisced over the good times this past semester. You talked about your classes and plans for next semester, and Spencer shared his. You couldn't take your eyes off him. He looked so devilishly handsome in his suit.   
  
After leaving the restaurant, you laced your arm with Spencer's. "Where to next?" you asked him.   
  
Spencer pointed at the Eiffel Tower in the short distance away. "To the top," he said, waiting for your reaction.  
  
"The top? You mean we are going to the top of the Eiffel Tower?" you said in awe.  
  
"For dessert, of course," he responded.   
  
..............  
  
When the elevator door dinged open, your hand flew to cover your gaping mouth as you saw the surprise. There was a picnic blanket with an assortment of desserts- chocolate-covered strawberries, tarts, danishes, and macaroons. Spencer looked down at you, taking in your beauty and surprise at the moment. You rushed into his arms in a hug while you thanked him over and over again. You then dashed over (as quickly as you could in heels) to the picnic blanket and sat down. Spencer followed your lead and sat down next to you. He picked up a chocolate strawberry and gently put it in your mouth. You made eye contact with him as you took a slow bite, his eyes yearning for you. You could sense it the tension between the two of you. You took a second bite to finish off the strawberry.   
  
"Y/N..."   
  
"Spencer..."  
  
He took a deep breath before saying, "Aristotle once defined love as a single soul inhabiting two bodies. And over these past few months, I've started to realize that you are the other body that shares my soul. You understand me more than anyone I have known, and I would like to think I know you just as well. The little bit of time we were apart, I felt a part of my heart missing, and I don't want to keep feeling that way. I love you, Y/N, and I hope you love me, too, because I want to be with you again, and, hopefully, for a long time."  
  
_Diana was right. He really does love me. He LOVES me. He loves ME! Okay, girl, pull it together.  
  
_"I love you, too, Spencer, so so so much," you said as some tears welled up in your eyes. You launched yourself into his arms, and he quickly and tightly embraced you back. Being in his arms again felt like you were coming back home.   
  
He pulled out a small ring with the engraving, "Two bodies, one soul" on the band. "This is a promise ring. I promise to love you, I promise to be there for you, and I promise to always need you in my life."   
  
"Oh, Spencer, I love it so much. Put it on, put it on!" you exclaimed happily as tears flooded your face. It slipped right on your finger.   
  
You both fell back on the picnic blanket, and you gently placed your head on his chest. He played with your hair as he soaked it all in. You both looked up at the night sky, feeling insignificant in this significant moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will be posting the next chapter tonight as well. I just need to take a quick break! 
> 
> I know this chapter is so cliche, but I can't help it! I'm a sucker for cheesy stuff!


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter! This has been so much fun to write, and I'm sad that it is ending, but I look forward to my next story! Love you guys!!

"This blue dress is just so elegant, and it is a winter color," JJ commented.   
  
"But, how about this one? This light orange dress would brighten you up for sure!" Garcia chimed in.  
  
"That's way too bright! She's not trying to be a beacon. This gray pantsuit is perfect. It's classy," Emily suggested.   
  
"She's going to a wedding, not a business conference!" Garcia pointed out.   
  
"Guys, guys, guys! How about this dress?" you replied. You selected a long baby pink v-neck halter dress. It was very ethereal and delicate. You would look pretty, but you wouldn't outshine the bride. The rest of the girls nodded in approval. You texted Spencer a picture of the dress which elicited a polite compliment. Spencer wasn't into sending risky messages over text. It made him too nervous. 

After slipping on the dress, JJ started on your makeup, and Garcia fiddled with your hair. Emily went through your closet to pick out a pair of shoes and investigated your dresser to find matching jewelry. It felt like it was your wedding day rather than Maeve's. You pictured walking down the aisle in a wedding gown to see Spencer at the end at the altar. You look to the side, and you see Diana and your parents in the audience. You got lost in your daydream as the girls finished creating your look.   
  
Spencer arrived an hour later to pick you up for the wedding. He was wearing a tuxedo with a pink handkerchief to match your dress. When he saw you, he immediately pulled you in for a kiss and scooped you up into his arms to carry you to the car.   
  
"Don't mess up her hair and makeup, Spencer, or I'll kill you!" Garcia playfully yelled back. You gave your friends a wave goodbye as Spencer set you down into the car.   
  
.........................  
  
The wedding was happening in an indoor garden a few miles down the road from the hotel, but the reception was taking place inside the hotel ballroom. Once you got to the garden, Spencer took your hand as the two of you mingled with some of the other guests. You both welcomed yourselves to some of the free drinks and finger snacks provided on one of the tables. Soon enough, the music started playing, cueing you and Spencer to take your assigned seats. You waited eagerly to see Maeve walk down the aisle, and you could tell the groom was beaming already.   
  
The elegant garden doors opened slowly to reveal the beautiful bride. Her one arm was laced with her father's arm while the other arm held her bouquet. She was wearing a modest A-line dress that flowed smoothly down to the floor. The top of the dress was embroidered with white lace and petals. Her hair was in an updo, and her veil was attached to a white rose flower crown. She looked like the goddess of the earth.   
  
As Maeve and her husband-to-be said their vows, you could feel Spencer grab your hand and give it a squeeze. You looked over at him, and he returned the eye contact with a gaze that said, "I love you as much as they love each other."   
  
Your smile in return said to him, "That could be us one day."  
  
....................  
  
At the reception, you and Spencer danced the night away (after a few drinks of course). Your favorite dance had to be the Cha Cha Slide because mildly drunk Spencer killed it. He danced like no one was watching which was unusual for him, but you weren't complaining. It was nice to see him grow more comfortable with you and with himself. Maeve came up to you and Spencer at one point during the reception to hug you both and thank you for coming.   
  
The last song of the night was a slow dance song. Yellow by Coldplay echoed throughout the ballroom. You could see all the guests pair up in a circle around the newlyweds, placing them in the center spotlight. You and Spencer found your spot in the circle, and Spencer placed his hands firmly on your waist and pulled you in close. Your head nestled gently against his chest, feeling his heart rate pulse against your cheek. It didn't matter how many times you would be close to him like this, you still got butterflies every time. Your heart still raced every time. Your spine still tingled every time. Your cheeks still blushed every time. You didn't see yourself ever getting sick of him. 

At the end of the song, you slowly pulled apart from each other. Spencer placed his hand against your cheek before planting a tender kiss on your lips.   
  
You thought back to that day in class when you wondered if you would ever know what love is. You never expected to find it in the peculiar boy with the messenger bag who happened to sit next to you in a philosophy class. 


End file.
